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Some of your friends, who don't have kids, may never be able to have them due to infertility issues. And maybe they won't be able to adopt for one reason or another. You may or may not learn the reason for their childlessness; you'll just see that their social media postings don't include kids.
Will you consider them failures, or left behind somehow?
Hello,
I am 29 years old, never married (but in a LTR), no kids. Recently I went on a splurge of Faceook friend add-- adding lots of old high school classmates, both from my class and 3+/- above and below. We were a fairly small school. It was a very weird feeling to see several of my classmates married, with children. It just made me feel..behind. I don't feel ready to have children right now. I would like to get settled with a house, and to move into a higher paying position at work. I also work nights. I work for the airline industry, so right now, the gf and I love to travel. We are able to travel at a very discounted rate. We were planning to get as much travel in as we can while we're young, and then settle down.
Any good suggestions? Has this happened to you? I know that being married and having children isn't everything, and obviously they have their own stressors, but it still makes me feel behind. Besides delete Facebook!
It also may be worth noting that I am ~ 2,000 miles away from many of these people. 50% stayed in the state, and the others have moved elsewhere. Regardless, no change of bumping into anyone.
I'm a city kid and I always thought FOR SURE I would get married in my 30s but I actually ended up married in my 20s. (We had been together for a long time.) Most of my friends starting getting married in their late 20s.
But seeing my friends have kids on FB doesn't make me feel behind. I am happy that I still have money to do things I want to do (like go to Europe last year) b/c with my high COL and not-so-high salary, I probably wouldn't be able to do that. I want to feel like I got to do a lot of the things I have wanted to do before a kid comes into play.
If you are happy at your pace, keep at it. And keep your FB if you'd like just check it less often.
I don't let things like this bother me. In fact, when I do see old faces with children and being married, all I could think of is "how are they affording this"? Kids and a spouse is just more hard work on top of whatever one is already doing to pay the bills.
If anything makes me feel left out in regards to social media, it's either an educational/career milestone, or someone going on a bunch of road trips and sight-seeing tours.
You've either got "all the money and no time", or "a whole lot of time, and no money to get anywhere".
I am 56, have never been married (was in a very happy relationship for years with somebody who died in 2012; am happy by myself now). I don't like kids and they are very expensive; there are over 7,000,000,000 people in the world, and the competition for survival is out of control. Although I had an excellent career, not having kids had enabled me to happily semi-retire at 50, which was even better than the excellent career (I seriously consider my avoidance of pregnancy to be my greatest achievement in life). I have two homes, in two greatest cities in the US, and am considering to retire in a low-income but interesting part of the Bronx when I get very old and finish blowing $ on world travel. All of my high school friends are either in boring marriages or (the majority of them) bitterly divorced, and struggling financially. I do not regret anything, and think having a family would have been nuts.
FB and all social media is just a place for people to go and say "nanny nanny boo boo" so don't let that make you feel like you're doing something wrong. Live your life according to you!
I felt this very same-way which is why i disconnected myself from social media, I'm self-employed as of a year ago, independent and don't have any children nor am i in an relationship. My family often questions my reasoning for still not having children at the age of 24, its even come to my attention that apparently they believe i'm gay (when i'm very much hetero).
Me personally i don't let any of that bother me anymore, For some-time i was bitter and envious in some way however i've come to the realization that i'm building myself an great life and when its the right time then i'll eventually share that life with someone special and have children; until then i'll continue doing what i have to do.
Believe it or not there will always be that one person who will look at you and be jealous, You don't have to work twice as hard to feed another mouth or change diapers or be stuck at home taking care of the little one; maybe even constantly arguing with your partner over small stuff etc.
I'm posting a reply to this because it is absurd. I'm 45. No kids. Never married. My girlfriend of 1 year is 46, no kids, never married. We found each other later in life. We both have lots of wealth now and careers and don't plan on having kids. Fortunately we can afford luxurious things like watches(Rolex, Tag, Breitling, etc) and lots of toys like boats, Jet-skis, drones, guitars, the ballet, Vacations in Fiji, crafting crap for her hehehe and LOTS OF other things. For instance: we didn't think twice when downtown the other day to just stop in Jeff Ruby's and pay $300 for dinner. Because WE DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN. We can afford anything we actually want at any time of the year. We are also everyone's favorite when it comes to Christmas cause we get kids and adults the best gifts for them.
We do however have 2 dogs and a cat who don't whine, complain or sabotage our savings.
Life is better without kids. Coming from a guy who has to loan his OLDER BROTHER of 3 years over $2000 every year so he can support his life and he makes more than me financially!
Kids are a money surplus and ungrateful. We're both glad we don't have any and never will. I'm confused why you're even asking this question or maybe you just want a little brat to ruin your life with.
Squiggy
LOL! LOVE IT. It's true. Kids are way too expensive and most ruin your life. The American Psychological Association lists being married with children as a risk factor for depression in women. I mean, that says it all.
LOL! LOVE IT. It's true. Kids are way too expensive and most ruin your life. The American Psychological Association lists being married with children as a risk factor for depression in women. I mean, that says it all.
I wonder if your parents feel that way about their offspring . . .
I felt this very same-way which is why i disconnected myself from social media, I'm self-employed as of a year ago, independent and don't have any children nor am i in an relationship. My family often questions my reasoning for still not having children at the age of 24, its even come to my attention that apparently they believe i'm gay (when i'm very much hetero).
Just tell them you're too smart to have kids at 24.
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