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For century after century "ordinary" people elsewhere have been following the lives of exemplars in their culture, their royal families. Many still do. They rejoice at the births of new little princes and princesses, pay attention to the gossip, and weep when the old king or queen dies, or when, in modern times, divorces break up what looked like an ideal family. It is a peculiar form of mass infatuation--and I actually don't mean that in a bad way. It is actually very similar to rooting for a sports team/hero: we feel the sweeping emotion of sharing something deep inside of ourselves with total strangers. The upside is that we hook up with other human beings in what E.O. Wilson calls a super-social connection. The downside is that we can also be swept away by populists.
Some of us have never been able to "get" that kind of group emotion. But there is a deeper phenomenon happening, and I think that is perfectly normal, psychologically: many people need to think that there is a world out there where rich and powerful lives make sense--an ideal situation come to life, and then we share it vicariously. And celebrities have simply become the U.S. version of royalty, so there is a mass outpouring of grief when someone like Prince passes.
But I think that is in addition to what a few great posts have mentioned--how (some of) our own lives have become intertwined with the images, art, and influence of a few celebrities that have meant something to us, particularly in our youth. And losing that beacon in our lives can be a deep, individual sorrow that we just happen to share with strangers.
I'm still not over losing George Harrison...
Ya know, I swore that when Princess Diana died, I was going to watch the whole thing unfold as a news event. Royals? PFFT! Most expensive welfare family on the planet.
But when I tuned in and saw how silent bystanders were when the gates opened and the procession started, and I saw those poor boys and tried to imagine what on earth they could be feeling as they trudged along, and the envelope from little Harry next to the flower arrangement on top of the casket, and then that first woman to break the silence with weeping and calling Diana's name, I couldn't help but shed a few tears.
For all the brattiness inherent in the concept of royalty in the first place, I do think Diana tried to give something back to the world. She was the first royal to just step right in, pick up an African toddler with HIV, and hold the kid, skin-to-skin. Took guts for her to do that, given the pressure-cooker she was in from her in-laws and how it was still new information that HIV couldn't be spread by casual contact. So yeah, she was a light that went out. Tragic because she was so young, but still would have been sad had she lived a normal life-span.
The queen? Nope. Not going to miss that battle-axe. Same goes for her eldest son, Prince Tampon.
There's a saying: People don't remember everything you've said, but they always remember how you made them feel". This applies to people we've admired from afar as well. Doesn't music cause the release of brain chemicals that make one feel good? This explains why musicians in particular are mourned so heavily. When someone who made us feel good, whether we knew a lot about them or not, passes away, our life is diminished in some way. Those who mourn a stranger as if it were their own child are a bit extreme to me, though.
There's a saying: People don't remember everything you've said, but they always remember how you made them feel". This applies to people we've admired from afar as well. Doesn't music cause the release of brain chemicals that make one feel good? This explains why musicians in particular are mourned so heavily. When someone who made us feel good, whether we knew a lot about them or not, passes away, our life is diminished in some way. Those who mourn a stranger as if it were their own child are a bit extreme to me, though.
Thanks for writing this post. The bolded sums up my thoughts exactly. There was an actor that made me feel this way. Very talented and handsome. He was 80+ and passed last year, and I bawled like a baby. I was embarassed for myself (no one else was around at the time, thank goodness). The only thing I kept thinking was "I don't even know this person....why am I crying??? I'm 50 for goodness sake!" I was sad for a couple days after as well. Never felt that way about anyone ever before or since.
We're sad only because we reminisce and remember the past and then realize who old we are getting. So in fact, the sadness is for our own sorry aging selves more so than the person who passed.
If this were the case, it would only be aging people who grieve at the death of celebrities they admire, etc. Young people would not. And that's clearly not the case.
When I was a senior in HS, Kurt Cobain killed himself. I wasn't a Cobain/Nirvana/Grunge fan, didn't identify with the music or the movement, so it didn't particularly emotionally impact me (apart from it being really sad that he left a baby daughter). But peers of mine absolutely went into mourning. I doubt 15-18 year olds were mourning for their lost youth.
If Mr. XYZ-superimportant even dies, that means I could die anytime, too, right? Or you think "wow, was he really that old, but didn't he just last year ...? Oh crap, that means I am older, too."
If this were the case, it would only be aging people who grieve at the death of celebrities they admire, etc. Young people would not. And that's clearly not the case.
When I was a senior in HS, Kurt Cobain killed himself. I wasn't a Cobain/Nirvana/Grunge fan, didn't identify with the music or the movement, so it didn't particularly emotionally impact me (apart from it being really sad that he left a baby daughter). But peers of mine absolutely went into mourning. I doubt 15-18 year olds were mourning for their lost youth.
I think one common thread here is awareness of one's own mortality. Kids especially think they're never going to die. I mean they're kids! Plus they're special. THEY have a leg up, can "see through all the B.S.," will never bow down and become a drone and blah-blah. To see a YOUNG person (like Cobain) die is pretty darned shocking for them. Well, it's shocking to anyone but you know what I mean. A YOUNG person who shone like a star is gone and that's so unbelievable...if that stellar person can go then so might they. We all know this deep down, obviously. We all know even babies can die, much less people in their 20s or 30s. But a sudden death of a star drives the point home, particularly for young fans.
Kids also tend to make certain celebrities their "heroes" in various ways. They believe in what they think the celebrity stands for (whether that assessment is accurate or not). So a piece of themselves, so to speak, is gone and yes, there are tears.
Death seems so remote to young people. But it's not. It's always right around the corner. Nobody wants to acknowledge it but sometimes it can't be helped and that can have a huge impact.
Besides the obvious, why would the average person be saddened when a celebrity dies at an old age? PIck someone like Andy Griffith or Doris Roberts. Many times, these are actors whom we haven't seen for decades, yet as soon as they pass away, we are saddened. It isn't like they are a part of our daily life. We don't know them at all. Is it just that their death is a reminder that many people we "grew up" with are dying so we are going soon? I don't think there a mechanism inside of us that feels bad if any anonymous person dies because I rarely am saddened when I pass a funeral home with people hanging around outside. I do feel bad for the survivors but not for the unknown deceased person. However, many are sad for the deceased actor.
Has anyone else ever even thought of this or am I thinking too much?
If Mr. XYZ-superimportant even dies, that means I could die anytime, too, right? Or you think "wow, was he really that old, but didn't he just last year ...? Oh crap, that means I am older, too."
It gives us a reality check.
Pretty much this. Especially when some relatively young celebrity dies, say 20s to 40s, in a car crash or skiing accident or whatever, it makes me think "gee, that could have been me." It also reminds me that while celebrities may seem larger than life, in reality they are just people.
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THEY have a leg up, can "see through all the B.S.," will never bow down and become a drone and blah-blah. To see a YOUNG person (like Cobain) die is pretty darned shocking for them. Well, it's shocking to anyone but you know what I mean. A YOUNG person who shone like a star is gone and that's so unbelievable...if that stellar person can go then so might they. We all know this deep down, obviously. We all know even babies can die, much less people in their 20s or 30s. But a sudden death of a star drives the point home, particularly for young fans.
