Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes, sometimes people with BPD are able to 'compartmentalise' their lives so that in some areas they(we) are high-functioning, and in others, much more chaotic.
thanks... is there any methodology to it? Does it involve discipline on your part, to not show, say, your coworkers how bad you are feeling because you would worry about losing face, or losing your job? And then your loved ones... at home, you know you can be yourself with and they will never leave you?
I'm sorry, I'm not too sure on the 'motivation' of people who are able to compartmentalise. Generally for me my relationship group, albeit small, consists of fairly robust and mutually caring/trusting bonds.
I sway towards a more borderline-avoidant PD so I prefer to isolate myself when I'm experiencing strong emotions. I'm also not generally impulsive.
I wish I knew how some people are able to be high-functioning in some areas socially! Hopefully someone will have a better informed response for you.
I don't think it would be logical for them to know this about themselves. They might know they have been diagnosed with it but they never know which is the straw that will break the camel's back with you. They constantly push you away to see if you will come back. It would seemed to be against their innate sense of survival to treat people who they depend on so poorly.
It's like they are hanging on to you by a thread with one hand and in the other hand they are holding a pair of scissors. The ones that love them are the ones who have to watch them fall if they clip the thread. So you spend your life with them trying to enjoy the times when they are not holding the scissors and the rest of the time getting them to put the scissors down.
I think the people with BPD who are in long term relationships are the percentage who know they have it and have surrounded themselves with close friends, coworkers and family who accept them because of their otherwise productive lives.
Last edited by thriftylefty; 08-17-2016 at 03:21 PM..
It's like they are hanging on to you by a thread with one hand and in the other hand they are holding a pair of scissors. The ones that love them are the ones who have to watch them fall if they clip the thread. So you spend your life with them trying to enjoy the times when they are not holding the scissors and the rest of the time getting them to put the scissors down.
Oh boy, this is an amazingly astute analogy. Thanks!
Choirgirl, are some things triggers for your strong emotions? Or do you find they just seem to arrive out of nowhere?
I started to understand that BPD is usually associated with early childhood trauma, often in the form of physical or sexual abuse that lasts for years, while the personality itself is forming.
So you can go through life feeling that it's you against the world, and pretty much forget anyone else. There's a part of me that I fear will never be able to experience a close personal relationship with anyone, even close family members and PETS! Never had any because I felt that being attached to a dog or cat would make me a weaker person somehow.
All of my romantic relationships fell apart after 6 months to 3 years for one reason or another. Since I couldn't feel real emotion, how could I know who the right one (if there is such a thing) was?
However, I don't think that personality disorders can't be overcome. I am very aware of my behavior now and how it important to think about the consequences of one's actions. We can't change the past but can change the present and the future.
I started to understand that BPD is usually associated with early childhood trauma, often in the form of physical or sexual abuse that lasts for years, while the personality itself is forming.
So you can go through life feeling that it's you against the world, and pretty much forget anyone else.
That's very true. I have not been diagnosed with BPD, but this is a common result of abuse.
Quote:
Originally Posted by A1eutian
However, I don't think that personality disorders can't be overcome. I am very aware of my behavior now and how it important to think about the consequences of one's actions. We can't change the past but can change the present and the future.
Good post. Awareness is a huge step, along with willingness to get better. It takes years and you don't always get it right. I found someone who is patient and kind, and who attended therapy with me to understand my illness.
Thanks, Modernist. Is it your experience that the bp can direct his or her bp behaviour at certain individuals only? eg. spouse, children, and no-one else is necessarily aware that anything is wrong with them? My friend seems to flourish and work and is quite popular. And with her children, she may occasionally lose her temper over seemingly small things, but that's all they see.
In my experience that's not the case. But as has been mentioned here that can be very different. In 'Eggshells' there are references to Non BPs not being believed because the BP would come across as reasonable to others.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
