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I generally enjoy everything about the holiday season - egg nog, music, movies, family, big meals, giving gifts, helping those who are not as fortunate, attending church programs etc. However, I dread receiving gifts at Christmas; it makes me feel uncomfortable, awkward, off balance. I've actually not attended family Christmas events due to the fact that there may be someone there giving me a gift. I've made people feel badly who have given me a gift. I suppose I should mention I don't like birthdays (mine) either, similar feelings. Don't like birthday parties for myself and a surprise birthday party would put me into a coma. I do however enjoy others birthday parties.
I really couldn't care less about receiving gifts. If I want anything, I buy it for myself. I hate the idea of other people picking out something for me.
The one exception is my best friend. She and I always buy Christmas and birthday gifts for each other and we always hit it out of the ballpark - and it's fun to see what creative thing she's found for me (and vice versa). For instance, we just met for coffee and a gift exchange today. I got her a tin of ginger snaps I know she loves (a huge tin), some tea I figure she'll like, some fancy soap and a scarf. She got me this really cool retro 1960s Milano glass pelican. We were both thrilled!
But we enjoy GIVING the gift at least as much as receiving it - and I think that's the whole idea.
I really wish the whole gift thing would just evaporate for anyone over the age of 10. I see it as a constant source of stress. I see people frozen in malls, I see men wandering around with vacant looks in their eyes, looking at the vast array of products, panic-stricken, and finally just grabbing weird stuff, i see people opening stuff on Christmas Day that they don't want or need, and smiling politely, I see others grimacing and telling their parents, "ITS THE WRONG ONE" or "EW DID YOU GET THIS FROM WAL-MART?", lol. And a week after Christmas I sit on a bench in a mall watching everyone wear their Christmas presents, which sort of makes it all worthwhile
I generally enjoy everything about the holiday season - egg nog, music, movies, family, big meals, giving gifts, helping those who are not as fortunate, attending church programs etc. However, I dread receiving gifts at Christmas; it makes me feel uncomfortable, awkward, off balance. I've actually not attended family Christmas events due to the fact that there may be someone there giving me a gift. I've made people feel badly who have given me a gift. I suppose I should mention I don't like birthdays (mine) either, similar feelings. Don't like birthday parties for myself and a surprise birthday party would put me into a coma. I do however enjoy others birthday parties.
Does anyone else have similar feelings?
This might help you sort out why you experience this discomfort.
My parents know I like playing games a lot, even though I'm cutting back on them now, so as a sort of tradition now, my dad always gets me video games for Christmas. The problem is, is that he always goes for quantity over quality, which I've learned is terrible when it comes to video games. A good $20 - $60 game will have you playing for hours, but a crappy $10 game will make you toss it aside in 10 seconds: Trust me, I've done so.
I would tell him that Steam is a magical place that has several decent, fun $10 games, but then I would have to explain to him what Steam is, how to use it, and what money card to give me, which then would basically be the same as just giving me cash, which doesn't match the holiday spirit(!) and doesn't give him the satisfaction of me opening a present on Christmas day.
He always seems more concerned with making sure I have as many things to open on Christmas than things I definitely want, but I never have the heart to tell him that I want quality over quantity, and I honestly don't often ask for any video games or anything because I haven't been thinking about them or any other items much at all lately. I'd rather get a new backpack or a multi-tool or something, but that's kind of my issue: I can't think of many things that I definitely want and can take with me that my parents can afford for Christmas. Everything I want is either too expensive for them to want to get it for me, or I don't even think of telling them I want it because it's not important and is so cheap that if I want it badly enough, I may just get it myself. The only exceptions are when my big sister or mom take me shoe shopping.
So this leads to me having to put on a smile and pretend to be excited for a game that I'm only going to briefly play out of obligation and then forget it exists. I AM grateful, and this Christmas my dad got me a cheap guitar, something that I REALLY DO want and asked for this Christmas, it's just kind of cringy and painful trying to fake being excited for something. And there ARE times when my parents DO get me some pretty cool and useful things for Christmas.
I actually miss getting socks. :-/ At least those are things that I need replaced bi-monthly and can donate, I think. What the hell are some kids in Africa gonna do with some shovelware Wii or DS game? Eat it?
I agree with the OP, the Christmas season is great. Gifts are only a small part of it. The bad part is seeing pictures of fists flying at the local WalMart over a piece of cheap junk from China. Too many people get caught up in the commercial aspect and forget why we celebrate.
Getting bad/tacky gifts is no big deal. They can always be regifted or donated. Sounds as though the OP is caught up with the fear of not seeming thrilled to get a tacky gift and hurting someone's feelings. Only my spouse knows what I want, because I steer him in the right direction, lol. If someone gives me a secret santa or tacky family member gift, I just thank them and go on. No need to dwell on it or panic. I try to avoid the reverse by giving foodie gifts, which mostly ends well, everyone has to eat. I discreetly try to check for food allergies, diabetes, though.
I really have no clue what most of the adults outside my parents in my family would want or even use. My grandmother takes back anything you buy her. I know I probably give a lot of gifts people don't want, and receive a lot of gifts I don't want.
Kids are different and get a lot of joy from unwrapping presents.
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