Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't really know this person well enough, I don't hate them, but they are quite annoying and in your face to say the least, the problem is its a house party where there's alcohol and heaps of people i don't know or know well and I'm a) not a drinker and b) an introvert and have Autism, I'm not into those types of events, The problem with this is, on that day, time and date of the event, I have no other plans and don't want to want to say the phrases along the lines of the following as I consider this to be dishonest,
"No sorry, I have another commitment/prior arrangement" , "No sorry, I have other plans", "I'm unavailable to go", "I can't go". "I'm unable to go", etc, etc.
How do I go about saying this in an honest way instead of these along the lines of.
Please help, would be appreciated?
PS. On a side note, I'm not sure why she even invited me, we barely know each other, outside of work, why?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Say, "I appreciate the offer, but I'll have to decline." Not a word more. You're an adult you don't need an explanation. If they press, just you are straight edge and don't drink and don't want to be tempted.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,585 posts, read 81,225,683 times
Reputation: 57822
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
I like Diss's suggestion. You also could say, "Thanks for inviting me, but I already have plans. Happy birthday!"
It's easy to make other plans, and then be honest, without saying when the other plans were made. Just ask a family member or good friend if they want to go out to dinner that day and time, and if they accept, you have your excuse. There is no need to give details. People will invite everyone they work with to such events just to be polite and not leave anyone out.
It's easy to make other plans, and then be honest, without saying when the other plans were made. Just ask a family member or good friend if they want to go out to dinner that day and time, and if they accept, you have your excuse. There is no need to give details. People will invite everyone they work with to such events just to be polite and not leave anyone out.
Yep, or your "plans" could be a quiet night at home.
I think telling a white lie about having other plans is fine. Just don't post on social media that you are at home reading a book! If telling a white lie makes you uncomfortable, then simply say you can not come. (You stated very well in you post why you are unable to come.). I imagine that your coworker invited you because she wants a gift. Or, possibly she invited you because she invited other coworkers and did not want to leave you out.
Just say no, it is a complete sentence and no explaining is necessary.
If you are asked why, tell them you have other plans which is the truth, you plan on doing something besides going to the birthday party.
Yep, or your "plans" could be a quiet night at home.
Bingo. A counselor told me this, and it was a life saver for me. Your plans can be putting on your pajamas and binge-watching a TV show. And she also taught me that I don't have to explain what my plans are. If someone digs, you have answers prepared ahead of time. The funny thing is, they usually don't really care. And often, they won't ask. But, if they do, it helps to figure out a few answers that you just use like a mantra.
I'm sorry, I have plans that night.
What are they?
"Well, if I told you then I'd have to kill you ha ha. But, I hope you have fun! Say, do you know where the copy paper is? The copier ran out again..."
Or, "Oh, some regular thing I do. So, what are you going to wear?"
Or, "Oh, I don't want to go into it. I love your dress. Where did you get it?"
Whatever response you come up with, it helps to immediately ask them a question to change the subject. If they try bringing it back to the same question, you just use the broken record technique. Just repeat the exact same thing you said before. And then ask them another question.
This is not confrontational in any way, but they'll get the message - that it's none of their business. You just need to practice doing it, and you'll see that it works.
Also, you may find that they're relieved. They may also feel awkward around you if you're introverted, etc., and may have just invited you to be polite.
At any rate, it's a good technique to learn - how to say no without giving a reason, or being confrontational.
Bingo. A counselor told me this, and it was a life saver for me. Your plans can be putting on your pajamas and bing-watching a TV show. And she also taught me that I don't have to explain what my plans are. If someone digs, you have answers prepared ahead of time. The funny thing is, they usually don't really care. And often, they won't ask. But, if they do, it helps to figure out a few answers that you just use like a mantra.
I'm sorry, I have plans that night.
What are they?
"Well, if I told you then I'd have to kill you ha ha. But, I hope you have fun!"
Whatever response you come up with, it helps to immediately ask them a question to change the subject. If they try bringing it back to the same question, you just use the broken record technique. Just repeat the exact same thing you said before. And then ask them another question.
This is not confrontational in any way, but they'll get the message. You just need to practice doing it, and you'll see that it works.
Also, you may find that they're relieved. They may also feel awkward around you if you're introverted, etc., and may have just invited you to be polite.
At any rate, it's a good technique to learn - how to say no without giving a reason, or being confrontational.
Good luck.
People are very easily distracted. If you want to change the subject try asking her about something she said previously instead of focusing the conversation on you. Then she will think you are soooo interesting, too....scratch that maybe you don't want her to think that
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
