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Each person is different. Dont assume all women are clingy, needy and want a partner that is holding their hand every moment of the day.
I hope I haven't mistaken the situation. I've been assuming that most women are better at social things than men, that they want a partner who respects them as an individual, and that they want both a life together with their man and a life apart to follow their own interests. At least that's the kind of woman who would interest me.
I wouldn't be interested in a house cleaning robot who does double duty on her back.
That's not a life. I want a life partner, not a servant.
I'm probably one of those "low libido" men you're describing. And I weightlift multiple times a week, sometimes to the point of my arms hurting when I open the exit door. I also eat healthy, without turning into one of those people. And yet, I have no desire for sex in the slightest. On that note, we humans do lots of things that aren't good for our bodies: sit at a computer, drive a car, drink beer, stay up late, and more. So what's the difference in lack of sex?
Also consider the fact that at my age, with sex comes a long-term relationship. Plus, most women my age want kids real bad. All of which can destroy a man's social life (woman's too, I suppose), because most people over 30 become very codependent and insular after getting into a relationship. No pleasure in the world is worth turning into that. Especially considering that my social life is now more active than I could dream of 10 years ago. Which gives me enough of an endorphins fix. Lack of sex nonewithstanding.
Really?
We are around the same.
I am female though.
I think my overall enjoyment of like has picked up in the last few years because my daughter is a bit older, I have more stable and higher paying income. I am settled in my home and no more major must have purchases ex furniture, major renos or down payments to buy properties ex.
Also more self aware of my own needs which came with needs.
Ex I am more confident in saying my husband will take care of our daughter because I am going to a concert or and event. I am more comofortable leaving dishes in the sink or going out for dinner rather then feeling social pressure to ensure that every inch of my home is spot less or that I prepare a home made meal for my family every night.
I have also been starting to cash in on the rewards for all my hard work in my 20s so I can affort floor seat tickets to concerts, to go out more often and buy nicer stuff that I want.
This all depends on the person you are with. Bare in mind I work with older people at most I meet that never married or had kids hugely regret it in the long run.
I hope I haven't mistaken the situation. I've been assuming that most women are better at social things than men, that they want a partner who respects them as an individual, and that they want both a life together with their man and a life apart to follow their own interests. At least that's the kind of woman who would interest me.
I wouldn't be interested in a house cleaning robot who does double duty on her back.
That's not a life. I want a life partner, not a servant.
It depends.
I have meet women with both mind sets.
Also people change. I have a lot less independent in my teens and 20s when in a relationships. In some ways my current mindset is sort of a revolt from feeling suffocated in relationships with men.
I have had the take of what comes with economic power and frankly I prefer being in the drivers seat. Some people are too scared to be in control of a situation. I got forced in to this and am mastering it so not willing to put all of my needs, dreams desires aside to please someone else. Ex I am not going to stay more to fold laundry when there is an event or something outside my home I want to do. The house work can wait or my husband can do it. He is welcome to join in if he wants too. If not I will take my daughter and off we go. If she does not want to go she can choose not to as well. That is the thing about coming to understand her own personality. I am usually go after what I want and dont make excuses. The further I have pushed myself to explore more things the happier I am feeling.
Ex You can't go out alone to a concert, movie, theatre, travel as a female or whatever... I have broken all those taboos and it is 100% empowering. I think men are more pushed to be independent and women still tend to be taught to be more cautious which really chips away at this ability to enjoy like to the fullest.
I'm about to find out. My wife of over 20 years recently passed away and I have absolutely no desire, whatsoever, to enter into another relationship, ever. Good relationships require too much hard work to attain and maintain and at age 70, I'm out of energy. Besides, no one else could ever equal my late wife and I would never settle for less.
Many avoid relationships out of choice and I don't see that it prevents them from leading healthy, enjoyable lives. Perhaps they see them as being potentially too difficult to pursue.
High Five-ing you Curmudgeon. I am feeling exactly the same. Had a great 31 year run with hubby before he passed I am good alone from now on for exactly the same reasons you state. It just takes too much energy to try to get into another relationship. I do miss my hubby but I am having a good life alone. A few have made comments to me about finding some one else. Nope I am done.
..........This all depends on the person you are with. Bare in mind I work with older people at most I meet that never married or had kids hugely regret it in the long run.
How can one regret what they were fated never to have?
That's one of the conflicts of the modern world where we are constantly bombarded that the way it is suppose to be is that we take a mate and even breed. The church tells us, movies and TV tells us, even advertisement tells us. Look at the man's shaving cream or razor commercial: have a smooth face and have the beautiful woman in bed, in the morning, even with kids bouncing around.
We are told that there is someone out there for everyone but is that really true? Would it not be better to live life as we can instead of chasing what is the impossible dream for some of us?
I'm about to find out. My wife of over 20 years recently passed away and I have absolutely no desire, whatsoever, to enter into another relationship, ever. Good relationships require too much hard work to attain and maintain and at age 70, I'm out of energy. Besides, no one else could ever equal my late wife and I would never settle for less.
Many avoid relationships out of choice and I don't see that it prevents them from leading healthy, enjoyable lives. Perhaps they see them as being potentially too difficult to pursue.
My sister lost her husband at 53. My mom lost dad at 53.... both of them pursued life as singles, and remained happily untangled. At the age they were, men their age were chasing much younger women. Men who were older were looking for nursemaids.
They concentrated on their kids and grandkids, read books, traveled, and got involved with causes they care about.
How can one regret what they were fated never to have?
That's one of the conflicts of the modern world where we are constantly bombarded that the way it is suppose to be is that we take a mate and even breed. The church tells us, movies and TV tells us, even advertisement tells us. Look at the man's shaving cream or razor commercial: have a smooth face and have the beautiful woman in bed, in the morning, even with kids bouncing around.
We are told that there is someone out there for everyone but is that really true? Would it not be better to live life as we can instead of chasing what is the impossible dream for some of us?
I am always chasing my dreams or idea or new paths. I fall on my butt a lot too while doing this. I don't know anything forsure. I just hear that alot for people that have never had those experiences. Is if not better to try and not accomplish something, but to never try at all. Even if you get married or have a long term relationship and it does not work out .... at least you can say you tried.
I dont think not getting married and not having kids makes anyone a failure. It is only one aspect of life. But not to throw egg in anyone's face over this, but my married is pretty crazy and being a parent is a totally crazy experience as I have a very challenging kid even in a clincal sense (ADDH dx)... but I dont regret getting married or having a child. Life is far from perfect.... but I have been lucky enough to have this experience. Even if it is not perfect despite my frequent complaining I am grateful for being able to be a wife and mom ( both are to date the lowest paying and most stressful jobs I have ever done ).
Being single or not sexually active does make anyone less important and is not sure to make anyone more or less happy.... but I don't get not wanting to be in an emotional and physical relationship with someone. It seems like giving up vs. a choice is a lot of cases. I personally just not get "giving" up if you are still breathing. What else do you really have to do or lose?
I am always chasing my dreams or idea or new paths. I fall on my butt a lot too while doing this. I don't know anything forsure. I just hear that alot for people that have never had those experiences. Is if not better to try and not accomplish something, but to never try at all. Even if you get married or have a long term relationship and it does not work out .... at least you can say you tried.
I dont think not getting married and not having kids makes anyone a failure. It is only one aspect of life. But not to throw egg in anyone's face over this, but my married is pretty crazy and being a parent is a totally crazy experience as I have a very challenging kid even in a clincal sense (ADDH dx)... but I dont regret getting married or having a child. Life is far from perfect.... but I have been lucky enough to have this experience. Even if it is not perfect despite my frequent complaining I am grateful for being able to me a wife and mom ( both are to date the lowest paying and most stressful jobs I have ever done ).
Being single or not sexually active does make anyone less important and is not sure to make anyone more or less happy.... but I don't get not wanting to be in an emotional and physical relationship with someone. It seems like giving up vs. a choice is a lot of cases. I personally just not get "giving" up if you are still breathing. What else do you really have to do or lose?
But that's the point. You are approaching the question from a side where you have had the experience and you take it as granted for everyone or granted that everyone is like that.........and that's just not the case.
Let me try to put it this way: "It's like she missed the day when they were handing out the impulse to seek a mate.".
It's not like I ran away from the altar for I never got that close. No one has ever proposed to me. What is the point of "at least you can say you tried" when it is not in the programming in the first place?
Simply put, I exist in a sphere where seeking a mate, having children is just not part of it.......despite what the world wishes everyone to believe.
All the articles seem to agree that social isolation can have very bad effects on our health. It is very often seen in the elderly who have lost their spouse and have no contact with family if any.
I'm not sure that "batty" is a scientific term () but otterhere appears to be correct at least in concept.
But but but...I'm the one that called people batty.
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