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If you've experienced having a friend (or close friend) stop communicating with you without notice, have you repeatedly emailed them or texted them to try to make contact? (or have you called them?)
What if it was a romantic partner who had later turned into a friend?
Or have you stopped pretty quickly with trying to contact them and just took the tact of assuming that because they do not wish to communicate with you that you'll honor that decision and you don't bother to contact them except in a small way very initially?
If a romantic partner has stopped communicating with you, have you honored that decision, or have you emailed them to try to make contact?
In the thread 'I think my friend has disappeared', the OP took the tact of repeatedly trying to contact the person by all means possible.
Have you taken the opposite approach, and either not contacted the person at all, or just contacted them a little initially, but then gave up pretty quickly?
This topic is very similar to the current thread on "Ghosting".
But to answer your question: Yes, I have personally experienced that (being cut off without notice from what had been a fairly long-standing but infrequent pen pal correspondence). I did make one attempt at contacting her, to which received a fairly harsh reply, in which I was told that this person had no interest in any further communication with me -- I had unintentionally and inadvertently offended her. I felt hurt for a couple of hours (lol!) that she had misunderstood, but then I just shrugged it off. I did send one final e-mail to try to patch things up immediately after receiving her final e-mail, with no response, but that was okay with me because, to be honest, we did not have a whole lot in common, anyway, so I think it was actually a good thing that she ended it, all things considered.
Last edited by katharsis; 07-06-2017 at 03:45 PM..
If you've experienced having a friend (or close friend) stop communicating with you without notice, have you repeatedly emailed them or texted them to try to make contact? (or have you called them?) Happened only once three years ago. She came in my life like a storm, was very clingy from day one, didn't really have any other friends despite being 50 years old. We were like sisters for a year. Suddenly wasn't reachable for me. No idea why. Stopped answering my calls. She posted on facebook how happy she is with her bf (told me she doesn't like him very much). So since I knew she is fine, I deleted her number.
In the thread 'I think my friend has disappeared', the OP took the tact of repeatedly trying to contact the person by all means possible. yeah, the wrong ones. I would have just gone to her work or to her house to make sure she is ok.
Have you taken the opposite approach, and either not contacted the person at all, or just contacted them a little initially, but then gave up pretty quickly?
Another aspect: if you've cut off communication, do you still want the person you've cut off to contact you repeatedly (by email) because then you know they care?
This would be where you cut off communication because the behavior of the person was psychologically or emotionally abusive (NOT physically abusive) or not respectful or hostile or negative in some way or too unpredictable or the person has some psychological problems, as examples.
Last edited by matisse12; 07-06-2017 at 04:33 PM..
Another aspect: if you've cut off communication, do you still want the person you've cut off to contact you repeatedly (by email) because then you know they care?
This would be where you cut off communication because the behavior of the person was psychologically abusive or not respectful or hostile or negative in some way or too unpredictable or the person has some psychological problems, as examples.
No, absolutely not. If the person who was cut off had abused you in any way, however minor, I don't think you should even hope that they contact you. In cases of abuse, no matter how minor, I think it is best to just cut them off completely, tell yourself "good riddance", and if they persist, to just ignore them.
Last edited by katharsis; 07-06-2017 at 04:28 PM..
It can also be the case that the person who cut off communication has some serious issues.
I had ONE argument with a friend and she refused to every speak to me again.
I think that's a little severe.
Agreed, if it was just an argument or disagreement.
However, if there was any kind of abuse involved (other than saying something you or s/he didn't really mean in the heat of the moment), then NO.
I agree that someone who would end an actual friendship due to ONE argument or misunderstanding -- and for no other or additional reason(s) -- is someone I wouldn't want as a friend, anyway.
I've had it happen once about a dozen years ago. We went to dinner and planned going to a show the next night. I texted her a couple times about meeting but she never responded. We had several mutual friends who she was still contacting so I left it alone.
She did end up texting me weeks (months?) later asking for help with something. I told her to go get hosed.
I've had it happen once about a dozen years ago. We went to dinner and planned going to a show the next night. I texted her a couple times about meeting but she never responded. We had several mutual friends who she was still contacting so I left it alone.
She did end up texting me weeks (months?) later asking for help with something. I told her to go get hosed.
"She did end up texting me weeks (months?) later asking for help with something. I told her to go get hosed."
I don't blame you for doing that.I just recently experienced the same thing!! We had just communicated over the phone in March....then afterwards...nothing.I started to get worried about her because she had NEVER done something like this before....meaning not replied back to me either via e-mail or a phone call sometime later that week BUT after the 18th of March...haven't heard from her.I called and e-mailed...making sure that all I wanted to know from her if she was OK...nothing else...still no reply.I kept this up until June 3rd and then I was done 100%.I understand that sometimes people are going through stuff BUT if you have a friend that cares about you and is asking you if you're OK and NOT wanting to know anything else...then say something! I have done everything I can do SO I don't want to hear from her ever again UNLESS it's with an apology.IF she explains to me why she did what she did...then ok..fine...BUT I don't want anyone coming back into my life and acting like nothing happened.No Way!!
I had had another person whom I had known years longer then this one....come back into my life with more lies about why she hasn't been in contact for so long.Never apologizing for her lying to me and of course I called her out on it and it was more lying,not knowing what I was talking about,then saying she had no remorse,,she hadn't done anything wrong...
I got her to admit that she had done what she had done.....some people change only for the worse and not better.I don't tolerate liars at all.
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