How do I get over my fear of driving on tall bridges? (anxiety, parent)

[sportslover]

I have heard this fear is actually pretty common, but I don't personally know anyone with it. I talked to my therapist about this fear and she just said that I should just try to avoid these bridges if I can...wow, such great help. When I drive to my parents house in mobile, alabama, there is this bridge about 40 miles before I get there called the dolly parton bridge and the bridge goes up pretty high in the air at one point. I get pretty nervous anytime I approach the incline portion of this bridge, not only fearing the height but alsofearing I may somehow end up in the water below and drown. I can't avoid it because this is the only way to get to my parents house. I have also wanted to drive across country sometime but I am afraid to because I fear I will run across worse bridges than the one I just named and I hear there are ones that are worse. I want to stop being crippled with fear. I HATE that I have this crappy fear because no one else around me has it. It has gotten to the point where I will delay trips to my parents house just so I don't have to go over that bridge.

[JrzDefector]

I moved to Colorado, where there are a lot of high, twisty-turny roads with no shoulders or barriers on the side. I deal by taking my time and keeping my eyes focused on the road ahead of me and not looking right or left, only in the direction I'm going. I've actually begun to relax on these kinds of roads.

I'm not a fan of tall bridges either, though they affect me far less. Again, I look ahead to where my car is driving and don't take my eyes of the road for even a second and I take my time. If I go 10 miles under the speed limit, who cares?

Oh and regulate your breathing.

[oldoak2000]

Focus ahead, and on your breathing - slow deep breathing. . . (don't hold breath).
'Weather' it like a storm, knowing it will be shortly over.
Think about other things you've 'weathered' in life and survived while you're going over.

I hate heights too.

High bridge (overpass) that curves; ugggggg!!!
(my palms are sweating now just thinking about it . . .I'm Outta this thread - why did I click it - BYE!!!! )

[jaminhealth]

I don't like flying in TALL SKYS, but I did for years and still here to talk about it...

Or even LOW SKYS but I did a couple times.

Change your mind, change your life. It's the Science of Mind philosophy.

Life can be a huge fear if we let that be.

[jaynarie]

Is it only when you are driving? Or as a passenger, too? Worse when driving or a passenger? Approximately how old are you?

I've dealt with this my whole life, but it has gotten better as I've gotten older. I'm in my mid-30s. I've always been better as a passenger (I suppose because I can close my eyes and pretend?), but I still freak out.

I Googled that bridge and it is long. Is there any kind of service that will drive you across? The Mackinac Bridge has a "Driver Assistance Program" where they will drive your car across for you if you are uncomfortable doing so. The Mackinac is a toll bridge, so everyone has to stop anyway. Maybe that is why. Plus, it gets super windy. It will close when it is too windy.

[ClaraC]

The only way to get over this fear, OP, is to do it. Over and over and over. Don't be afraid of the panic (I know that's REALLY hard). I have anxiety and know the only way to do this is to face it down. For me, the key is not to say "I'll do this without feeling anxious". The key is for me to tell myself "wow, here comes a panic attack, here we go then!" The effort you put into NOT feeling anxious is draining, and it doesn't work anyway.

Drive up to the meanest baddest bridge you can find and take it on! And yes, you'll panic. But the 5th time you do it that after noon you'll panic a lot less. A lot.

Best wishes. When FDR said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" minimized the awful feeling of fear.

But. Take it on.

Edited to add: The best bit of advice I ever got about this is never to change anything to avoid this fear. When you decide to cancel a trip, take a 2 hour detour, etc., you are allowing it to take up residence in your brain. And it spreads. Soon you won't be leaving the house. So whatever you do, don't ever change a plan so you won't have to encounter a bridge. Encounter it.

[sportslover]

Originally Posted by jaynarie

Is it only when you are driving? Or as a passenger, too? Worse when driving or a passenger? Approximately how old are you?

I've dealt with this my whole life, but it has gotten better as I've gotten older. I'm in my mid-30s. I've always been better as a passenger (I suppose because I can close my eyes and pretend?), but I still freak out.

I Googled that bridge and it is long. Is there any kind of service that will drive you across? The Mackinac Bridge has a "Driver Assistance Program" where they will drive your car across for you if you are uncomfortable doing so. The Mackinac is a toll bridge, so everyone has to stop anyway. Maybe that is why. Plus, it gets super windy. It will close when it is too windy.

I'm 34. This only happens when I am the driver. They don't have one of those services that will drive you across. I had looked into something like that.

The Mackinac looks very scary based on the pics I have seen.

[mschrief]

I thought I was the only one.....

[Cliffie]

Originally Posted by DeCastro

I have heard this fear is actually pretty common, but I don't personally know anyone with it. I talked to my therapist about this fear and she just said that I should just try to avoid these bridges if I can...wow, such great help. When I drive to my parents house in mobile, alabama, there is this bridge about 40 miles before I get there called the dolly parton bridge and the bridge goes up pretty high in the air at one point. I get pretty nervous anytime I approach the incline portion of this bridge, not only fearing the height but alsofearing I may somehow end up in the water below and drown. I can't avoid it because this is the only way to get to my parents house. I have also wanted to drive across country sometime but I am afraid to because I fear I will run across worse bridges than the one I just named and I hear there are ones that are worse. I want to stop being crippled with fear. I HATE that I have this crappy fear because no one else around me has it. It has gotten to the point where I will delay trips to my parents house just so I don't have to go over that bridge.

Avoiding bridges will make it worse! The only way to get over a specific fear like that is to face across it over and over, and each time make a point of saying to yourself things like "That was easier than last time," "Once AGAIN I got across and nothing bad happened," "I'm making it across safely just like the other thousands of people who do it daily," and so forth. Refrain from saying things to make yourself feel worse, like "I feel like I almost died just now" and "that was TERRIFYING."


I had that fear and got over it with practice. To make it scarier, I live in Michigan where there are all manner of lakes and rivers to cross, on the Blue Water Bridge, the Zilwaukee Bridge, the Mackinac Bridge, and between 6 and 8 million smaller ones. If crossing THE bridge is too much to start with, start by crossing smaller bridges until you get used to those and work your way up.


I can't believe your therapist knows so little about handling anxiety!!!

[CaseyB]

I have a deathly fear of bridges, as well. It's called Gephyrophobia and more people have it than you realize. I'm usually ok if I'm a passenger, but some bridges are so bad I almost pass out even then. I have a fear of heights in general although I'm ok to fly.