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I'm all in favor of running any and all tests your physician can think of, including checking off practically everything on the blood panel. (Well not everything, but anything that could possibly be of use.) It would be silly to leave out the one test that might be a clue to diagnosing a physical cause of your depression.
In intractable cases it would be a good idea to have a full endocrine workup too.
I agree with the other responses - you need to get out of the house, find things you enjoy doing, meet with friends, etc. You don't have to cook every single day, and surely you're not doing laundry every single day? It sounds like you and your husband are retired so you should have plenty of time to do things you enjoy. Your husband sounds stuck in a rut too - he may be part of the problem - no matter how sweet he is, not being active is a sign of depression. Maybe he is depressed over his hip and he's pulling you into his depression/inactivity. A hip replacement doesn't mean he can't do anything - sitting around and eating is arguably going to make the hip worse. He needs to get up and do some light exercise - even just a daily walk around the block. Did he have physical therapy? They should have given him light exercises to do for his hip.
He is unable to walk around the block. Even if he could do I think he should be putting strain on an artificial femur? But no; he can't walk that far. He had minimal physical therapy and went from a walker to a cane in a month.
The interventions on the TV show called 'Intervention' are where a trained interventionist (who is a recovered former addict themselves) brings family members together along with sometimes a friend, spouse, or kids of the addict, along with the addict, and offers the addict a 60 or 90-day free rehabilitation stay at a very nice recovery place at various upscale places (along with detoxing) around the U.S. (and Canada for Canadians).
THeres something seriously amiss in that.
Its just a TV program with no connection to reality .
Recovered addicts don't do intervention, they carry the message and offer a way out. Thats it.
The program of recovery is free and it certainly doesn't take 60 days.
Recovery work is NEVER done with non addicts present, its a direct one to one approach.
If someone needs convincing they simply aren't ready.
The solution is simple and free but until the addict is ready there is nothing to be done.
I watched a couple of episodes, they were not alcoholics, they are problem drinkers.
When a problem drinker stops drinking the problem goes away.
When alcoholics stop drinking the problem is just getting started.
Music! Listen to music, play an instrument, get a hobby like others stated and drink some coffee.
I'd add: If you eat foods with added sugar, get off that crap.
I've lived with depression for years and since cutting out sugar, I sleep better and feel better. It took weeks, but worked.
When I go through my "deal" (a few weeks each year...seems to be getting longer as I get older), I make myself take out the drum kit and play. I am always SUPER up and happy after playing drums or guitar. I also get out of town and take trips when needed. I'll fly from CA to CLE (my favorite city) on a late Friday to Monday to see some games or just hang. It helps break up the routine.
I say I'm like Pa Ingalls as I would move every 2 years for "newness" if my wife allowed...we are in our 6th place in 25 years of marriage...same city and same job the entire time. LUCKILY, I LOVE my job and worry each summer when it goes away for a while. I'm classic manic type person, but know when "it's" coming.
Get a list of things together and branch out a bit. Just get in the car and make yourself do things. It's hard at first, I know.
Food and exercise are usually #1.
I'm:
no sugar
no diet sodas
no alch
pretty close to organic foods
never sick!
coffee...yes and more than the average, but I'm not going to start Big Pharma crap...."Symptoms may include your arm falling off for no reason.."
There are MANY very good responses above so do not read mine as, "I bet that's it!" A blood test might reveal something simple.
Agreed, you have to somehow not take your family stuff personally and that's a *****. I worry constantly about my two boys as they mature... 17 and 20. Funny, I my GPA was about half of theirs and I know have a Masters and they seem to be screwing around all the time...until a buddy reminded me.."Dude, remember what we were doing at that age?"
Maybe not get rid of it but lessen it. My daughter and her son have so many problems they gave me an ulcer that woke me up last night. I have zero enthusiasm for anything. I stay in the house with my husband who had a hip replacement and he does almost nothing but sit and eat . He's very sweet; no problem there. But I'm so down when I wake up I don't want to get out of bed and face the monotonous grind of laundry and cooking. I do *not* wish to take any prescription medications so what can I do? Are there any people on here who swear by alternative medications? Thanks in advance.
There is no magic pill, no matter its prescription or alternative medicine. All an antidepressant can do is mask the effects of your problems. Get help dealing with the stressors in your life, it sounds like you're carrying the weight of your family's problems. You can't help them unless you're healthy.
I have a homeless sister who is on drugs. For a long time myself and others in the family were like you, and we thought we were helping when we would give her food, help her with transportation, etc. We figured as long as we weren't giving her money for drugs, we weren't part of the problem. Wrong. All that stuff we were doing just makes it easier for the addict to focus on drugs, because they don't have to worry about the other stuff, too.
Disconnecting, disengaging, cutting off contact, whatever you want to call it - is the most loving thing you can do. You just have to tell them that you love them, but you will no longer help them kill themselves.
And it sucks at first, it feels wrong and there is a grieving process you go through.
But eventually you come out at the other end and you realize you have your own life to live, and yourself to care for. It's like shedding old skin. And the world looks so much more beautiful when this happens.
This is the most sensible advice in the entire thread and gets to the heart of the problem.
When all your emotional energy is invested in three self-destructive people, the only solution is to disengage. But first you have to accept that you can't effect change in other people.
When all your emotional energy is invested in three self-destructive people, the only solution is to disengage. But first you have to accept that you can't effect change in other people.
In my post above I too suggested cutting toxic people out of your life. It's sad if you have a toxic family member but there sometimes comes a point where you have to pick between your own health and your family (if any are toxic). Toxic friends? Poof!
Depression is a serious mental health problem. There is no excusing half-efforts. You have to take every advantage of every lifestyle change that may benefit your recovery. Recovering from your depression can be a life or death situation.
1. Regular aerobic exercise. Depression saps you of energy and will. Aerobic exercise gives it back to you.
2. A hobby you enjoy that you can engage in daily. Break up the monotony of chores (laundry, cooking) with the pleasure of a hobby.
3. You could engage in EMDR therapy and see if it proves effective (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_mo...d_reprocessing)
Maybe not get rid of it but lessen it. My daughter and her son have so many problems they gave me an ulcer that woke me up last night. I have zero enthusiasm for anything. I stay in the house with my husband who had a hip replacement and he does almost nothing but sit and eat . He's very sweet; no problem there. But I'm so down when I wake up I don't want to get out of bed and face the monotonous grind of laundry and cooking. I do *not* wish to take any prescription medications so what can I do? Are there any people on here who swear by alternative medications? Thanks in advance.
Medications are NOT the answer when you are depressed. If you take meds and do nothing else about your depression, the depression will learn to swim upstream against the chemical and you will soon be as depressed as ever. You need, instead, to:
EXERCISE. Nothing clears your head and makes you feel better like a little exercise. Don't do enough to wear yourself out. Do enough to make yourself feel good and then stop. Over time you'll find you need more and more to make yourself feel really good, and before you know it you're walking an hour a day, or maybe even running a mile.
GET OUT OF THERE. You sound as if you were locked in a room in the basement feeling lousy. Go to a bingo game or the library. Go out with friends. Go to a movie. DON'T wait until you feel enthusiastic about it, or it will never happen.
ASK FOR HELP. Get someone in there to help you out for a change, instead of you helping everyone else.
FIND OUT WHY YOU'RE SO NEGATIVE ALL THE TIME. Negative thinking will depress anyone. Replace the negative thoughts with more positive ones. How's this for a positive thought? "It's ME day. I'm going to the art museum. Let my son wash his own socks for once. It's time he learned to manage these simple things on his own."
FIND PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT YOU. It doesn't matter where. If the girls are shooting craps in the alley behind your house, or you want to go to church this week instead of staring at the walls, go ahead.
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