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Phobias are cured by means of exposure therapy. You need to find what's called a "cognitive behavior psychologist" in your town. It will take generally 8 - 12 sessions of exposure therapy to be cured.
You just need to do it, Truck wife. Desensitization.
Start by looking at pictures of puppies, then pictures of big dogs, then pictures of big active jumpy dogs.
Then start by playing with tiny puppies. Then more exposure and more. Finally, you can go to a fenced dog park and sit outside the fence. Then go in.
It's great that you're wanting to be free of this fear. You're being courageous.
Best wishes.
I agree with you in theory but tiny puppies can have needle sharp teeth and can bite. They're not being mean, they just haven't necessarily learned bite inhibition. If OP does get accidentally bitten, I don't think that would be a good thing to help her overcome her phobia.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend a dog park either. There IMO are too many unpredictable elements, dogs could jump on her or there could be a dog fight.
It sounds like her phobia is bad and is getting worse. IMO it's time to call in a professional to give her the very best chance at success since it's having a significant impact on her life.
ETA: If you know someone who has a therapy dog, that might be a good place to start. Those dogs are usually VERY calm and well behaved. Good luck OP you can do it.
In many cases fearing something is sort of fear of the unknown. If you were uneasy around dogs when very young you probably kept avoiding them. They never became familiar so you ended up not knowing much about them; why they behave how they do, understanding what to expect from them, and simply being used to them. Then, the more you feared them the more you avoid them....the cycle just keeps reinforcing itself.
I don't think this will be hard to overcome as you don't seem to have a traumatic event in your memory to deal with. Maybe asking to spend some time at a local animal shelter or dog rescue group, maybe visiting with puppies up for adoption (with a staffer there to help you get used to handling them), or observing how the shelter staff works with the dogs would help?
Do you know anyone who has a family dog? Maybe join them for walks? Dogs can be such good companions and the vast majority are wonderful to spend time with.
^^^^I think that this is great advice!
OP---You can overcome your fear. I know people who were afraid of dogs that went on to become dog owners!
For example, when I was very young, my aunt and uncle, who had yet to have kids, had a dog that they spoiled. The dog didn't like it when they paid attention to us kids. One day, when I was 2, he bit me. My family still talks about what I did next---I grabbed the dog's nose and twisted it. He yelped and never bothered me again. I got bitten by another dog when I was older but it never stopped me from living with a dog.
The same dog who bit me (aunt and uncle's dog) bit my brother, too. My brother, for quite a while, would freak out if a dog was anywhere near him. I also had a college roommate who feared dogs. Eventually, both my brother and roommate ended up becoming dog owners.
I like the idea of, perhaps, volunteering at an animal shelter. You can explain that you want to become more comfortable around dogs and they will have either an employee or another volunteer shadow you. They will take you to the calm dogs and show you how to approach the dog so as to not appear to be a threat. Most of the time, it involves offering the dog your hand so it can sniff it. Once I met a dog that growled at me and that's what I did---the dog liked me after that.
So, gradually desensitize yourself. Yes, of course, you will come across some mean and nasty dogs. In that case, it makes sense to keep your distance.
Perhaps, with some googling, you can learn how to be more comfortable around them.
If you do not find relief after trying the suggestions here, I would suggest finding a shamanic practitioner in your area who does past life clearings. Many times this type of phobia is related to a traumatic experience in a past life. I have seen many intractable phobias relieved through appropriate past life work done by a trained, experienced shamanic practitioner.
If going the desensitization route, you may want to try a homeopathic remedy such as Anxiovita prior to the first few times you visit with the dogs.
OP---You can overcome your fear. I know people who were afraid of dogs that went on to become dog owners!
For example, when I was very young, my aunt and uncle, who had yet to have kids, had a dog that they spoiled. The dog didn't like it when they paid attention to us kids. One day, when I was 2, he bit me. My family still talks about what I did next---I grabbed the dog's nose and twisted it. He yelped and never bothered me again. I got bitten by another dog when I was older but it never stopped me from living with a dog.
The same dog who bit me (aunt and uncle's dog) bit my brother, too. My brother, for quite a while, would freak out if a dog was anywhere near him. I also had a college roommate who feared dogs. Eventually, both my brother and roommate ended up becoming dog owners.
I like the idea of, perhaps, volunteering at an animal shelter. You can explain that you want to become more comfortable around dogs and they will have either an employee or another volunteer shadow you. They will take you to the calm dogs and show you how to approach the dog so as to not appear to be a threat. Most of the time, it involves offering the dog your hand so it can sniff it. Once I met a dog that growled at me and that's what I did---the dog liked me after that.
So, gradually desensitize yourself. Yes, of course, you will come across some mean and nasty dogs. In that case, it makes sense to keep your distance.
Perhaps, with some googling, you can learn how to be more comfortable around them.
OP, it is very important to remember that dogs bite for very specific reasons. There is an explanation behind every bite....a simple mistake (puppy or play nipping), fear (a dog who doesn't know you and feels threatened), territoriality (you invaded its space and it feels it has to protect something), etc. The chance that you will meet a dog that bites is extremely low. Don't let that add to your worry.
I know how you feel. I was almost attacked by big dogs when I was about 5 and it's lead to a lifelong nervousness. I wouldn't say fear, but everyone thinks I'm a freak for not loving dogs!
I recently overcame my lifelong terror of driving. I did it with these steps:
1) Resolve that you truly, genuinely MUST overcome your fear. It helps if you have a specific reason. In my case, it was to be able to help an aging parent in ways that will not be possible without driving.
2) For some while before you take real action, visualize yourself doing what you're afraid of. I commute by bus, so while on the bus, I would watch out a window and imagine myself driving down the street ahead of or beside it. I did this for a couple of months.
3) Pay attention to what others are doing when they do the thing you fear. I watched traffic very closely and noticed how drivers behave. For a fear of dogs, I suggest you watch dogs and their owners interact every time you see them on the street or in a park, or even on YouTube videos. Notice what the owner is doing. Notice what the dog is doing. I started to do this while doing step 2. That made my visualizations more complex and vivid.
4) When you feel ready, find the safest way possible to experience your feared situation. In my case, I found an excellent driving school and spent the first couple of lessons in a parking lot. In your case, I highly recommend locating someone with a properly accredited therapy dog, as Rowan suggested. Perhaps the owner can suggest ways for you to start interacting with the dog, starting with something maybe not too close and gradually building up.
5) When you feel comfortable with the situation--and when the therapy dog's owner thinks you are ready (this is important, I think)--take small steps out in "real life," in less controlled situations. Maybe the therapy dog owner knows other dog owners with dogs that are well behaved but don't have special training. After a period of time with this, you might feel comfortable about being around dogs in ordinary social situations.
Because I don't yet have a car and don't have any relatives or really close friends here, I continue to do steps 2 and 3 as often as I can so that I don't lose my nerve.
I am quite sure that these steps (which I devised "on the fly" for myself) won't work for everyone or for every phobia. But it worked for me without requiring the intervention of a mental health professional. I had truly believed that I might need a year or more of therapy.
And if whatever technique you try doesn't work, TruckWife, don't be hard on yourself. And especially don't be afraid to try something else.
I'm a dog person, so I really hope you can overcome your phobia. I'll be rooting for you!
I absolutely fear open high places..(bridges,ferris wheels, skyscrapers view towers). I've adapted well by not desiring to put myself in harm's way. Oddly I have no fear in flying. But open high spots ..No thanks .. Ever!!
So far I've stayed alive and not had to be pressured (self imposed or socially imposed).
Is this your wish to re-adjust this uncomfortable feeling?
Who benefits? The dogs or you?
I recently overcame my lifelong terror of driving. I did it with these steps:
1) Resolve that you truly, genuinely MUST overcome your fear. It helps if you have a specific reason. In my case, it was to be able to help an aging parent in ways that will not be possible without driving.
2) For some while before you take real action, visualize yourself doing what you're afraid of. I commute by bus, so while on the bus, I would watch out a window and imagine myself driving down the street ahead of or beside it. I did this for a couple of months.
3) Pay attention to what others are doing when they do the thing you fear. I watched traffic very closely and noticed how drivers behave. For a fear of dogs, I suggest you watch dogs and their owners interact every time you see them on the street or in a park, or even on YouTube videos. Notice what the owner is doing. Notice what the dog is doing. I started to do this while doing step 2. That made my visualizations more complex and vivid.
4) When you feel ready, find the safest way possible to experience your feared situation. In my case, I found an excellent driving school and spent the first couple of lessons in a parking lot. In your case, I highly recommend locating someone with a properly accredited therapy dog, as Rowan suggested. Perhaps the owner can suggest ways for you to start interacting with the dog, starting with something maybe not too close and gradually building up.
5) When you feel comfortable with the situation--and when the therapy dog's owner thinks you are ready (this is important, I think)--take small steps out in "real life," in less controlled situations. Maybe the therapy dog owner knows other dog owners with dogs that are well behaved but don't have special training. After a period of time with this, you might feel comfortable about being around dogs in ordinary social situations.
Because I don't yet have a car and don't have any relatives or really close friends here, I continue to do steps 2 and 3 as often as I can so that I don't lose my nerve.
I am quite sure that these steps (which I devised "on the fly" for myself) won't work for everyone or for every phobia. But it worked for me without requiring the intervention of a mental health professional. I had truly believed that I might need a year or more of therapy.
And if whatever technique you try doesn't work, TruckWife, don't be hard on yourself. And especially don't be afraid to try something else.
I'm a dog person, so I really hope you can overcome your phobia. I'll be rooting for you!
Loved your post. (Wanted to rep you but the thing won't let me.)
I do not have a phobia, but was never a pet person, nothing to tie me down or take care of. After over 20 years,I now have a toy yorkiepoo and absolutely love her. Cannot wait to get home and see her, etc.
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