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This is a very true and relevant saying for a lot of people. It's the reason people stay in toxic situations where they aren't happy even if there are ways out. Be it a toxic relationship, roommate, a job, a living situation, or whatever, many times we become comfortable with the status quo, even if we don't like it, that change can be frightening. This is true even if that change is for the better. The status quo, even if you dislike it, seems comfortable and favorable compared to the unknown. Question is, why is this? What are the best tactics for overcoming this fear?
It was a significant reason I stayed with my ex for so long, even though I was unhappy. I figured, nobody's perfect, everybody's got problems and at least we're far more functional than most married couples I know. I used to say that fairytale "happily ever after" stories are just a load of nonsense, that in this life we just do the best we can. It wasn't great but it could be worse, I used to tell myself.
If I'd known how bad it would get before the end, or how much better I'd have it once I got out, or how quickly or easily I could find someone much, much better...I would have left years before I did. But I saw that as just a complete gamble, a roll of the dice, and that there was just as much a chance that I'd find something (partner, or situation) a lot worse.
I guess that what bears considering, is that you cannot assume that the devil you know will continue to be the devil you know. If things are bad, they can still get worse. You take just as much a chance staying in a bad situation, as you do leaving one...it doesn't feel like it, but it's true.
People get comfortable and change is frightening. It's why abused people tend to find abusive people...it's what they know. Sad, but true. In my own experience, something worse had to happen, somewhere in my life, to make me realize it would be better to leave than to stay.
Sorry I didn't have any suggestions. From what I've ever learned about people who fear change....is that they have to fear something more, in order to change. Find that fear and they'll change.
I think acknowledging your unhappiness and accepting it are crucial. Don't minimize it. Then you make a plan that is based on calculated risk and a clear view of reality. Then you make the leap. You basically have to decide that your current situation is unacceptable.
I think acknowledging your unhappiness and accepting it are crucial. Don't minimize it. Then you make a plan that is based on calculated risk and a clear view of reality. Then you make the leap. You basically have to decide that your current situation is unacceptable.
Good points. I think we have the tendency to try to minimize our unhappiness as a way to cope with it. Telling ourselves things like it isn't really as bad as we are making it out to be and thinking of ways that it could be worse. This is good to an extent. Nobody has a perfect life and there are always things we could and should strive to improve about ourselves. We can also take that too far and use it to justify staying in a bad situation because change seems scarier.
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