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Well, I do think about a lot of things. But I don't feel like this is limiting in any way. I do think introverts probably need to exert discipline and energy to be social. Extraverts probably need to discipline themselves differently. But I don't think thinking hard or deeply is a bad thing.
But, repeatedly cutting yourself off from others so you can "be in your head" is probably not healthy.
Maybe what you're talking about is being stuck in negative thoughts -- that's what you're finding detrimental. Is that right? If so, I think being in one's head a lot and being stuck in one's head a lot are two totally different things.
Yes, I was focusing on negative thought patterns.
As I alluded to earlier, we should differentiate between daydreaming/fantasizing and allowing negative thoughts to fester.
However, I think that if one isn't careful, the former can lead to the latter. For example, one may harp on the fact that he passed up a valuable opportunity in the past -- one that would have helped realize a specific goal he has in the present.
All the time. ADD is a blessing and a curse. My anxiety, depression and OCD issues can drive me deep into my head and I can get lost there in my own private hell. But I also am never bored. I can just start telling myself stories. I'm a writer - I've written a lot in my head. We're talking epic sagas, whole worlds created...
I'm mostly an extrovert, but can disappear into my house for days and only interact with my animals.
I think this way too often. So the thoughts can turn into daydreams or fantasies. Or just very random thoughts, where I stay stuck. And the thoughts are not even about myself per se. Unfortunately I think more about doing something than actually doing it. Sometimes I do overanalyze things, just depends on what the focus is at the time. It's a huge drawback for me, anyway.
Yeah, I've lived in my a lot ever since childhood, and yes, I'm prone to obsessing and anxiety.
But for the most part that is my happy place (not the obsessing and anxiety).
I wouldn't have kids to prevent that though, that's a horrible reason for kids. Plus, don't you post about problems with your wife? Wait on the kids.....
Socializing and being busy DOES minimize it, but too much socializing tires me out emotionally. I guess it is just an issue of finding/creating balance.
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I wouldn't have kids to prevent that though, that's a horrible reason for kids. Plus, don't you post about problems with your wife? Wait on the kids.....
Things have improved tremendously. For my part, I've ceased being judgmental. I'm letting things go. No more holding grudges.
My point was that kids come first. When you're a parent, you learn to be unselfish -- to put another human being's needs before your own. Thus, it pushes you to come out of your head. You're thinking about your child, not yourself (at least not nearly as much).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sp2AtK11ynE
It's actually a brilliant song. He loves her, so he puts up with her crap.
Happens a lot, I think.
(Actually, I'm on the other side of town.)
What's helped me a lot with the negative thinking and over-analyzing, is CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). There are exercises or tricks - I call them my tools - to help stop negative thoughts, change behavior, etc.
My mind still wants to obsess over what I said somewhere that was stupid, and how people must think I'm such an idiot, or whatever. But, now I use my "tools" to remind myself that other people probably didn't give it a second thought, and at most they had a momentary "huh" and then started thinking about their own problems or things they had to do today, etc.
When my mind gets stuck on a loop like "I'm such a loser," I use the fact-checking technique, where I argue with that thought in my head, or write in my journal. "Well, if I'm a loser, how did I get a college degree?" And list all of my achievements that show that I absolutely am not a loser, so my mind is just wrong, etc.
Anyway, there are tricks to help with negative thinking, and it's really helpful. With CBT, there's no delving into a bad childhood, etc. It's just all about tricks and tips on ways to change your thinking when your mind goes rogue. I highly recommend it. It's made a huge impact in improving my quality of mental health. It would be really helpful if you could find a therapist that is trained in it, but you can also get some books through your library to see if it's your cup of tea before spending money, if you're on a tight budget.
I live “in my head”. Even in a crowd. During a conversation. When I’m supposed to be listening to instructions ... Sometimes I worry about myself in that I might start to form false memories.
Not anything life changing but just little things, like; always imagining myself being that person who got her Thank-You cards into the mail within an appropriate amount of time. And then the thought of that becomes so self-validating that I forget to actually send the cards!
One major dislike is from when I was dating & potential wanna-be partners would say something like “How can I reach you?” , “ do you ever let your guard down?” & “When will you let me in?”
Ugh! It’s like: “OMG, dude! I just put up with you for an entire hour to humor you & now you want ... in? What does that even mean?”
Apparently I’m so bad (good?) at this that I send out signals to those with above average “spidey sense”:
A few years ago one of my boys got into trouble at school & had to go to court & have a meeting with a juvenile probation officer. After about 20 minutes the guy told my son that he wanted to have a word with his mom & told him to go wait in the lobby for me. He turns around after shutting the door & tells me “Meh; he’s a good kid. He’s going to do fine”.
“But you ... What’s your story?”
He proceeds to tell me about how this was his pre-retirement job. After spending the last 18 years on SWAT/Metro Vice & Narcotics. He said “ I’ve watched since the appointment started. You noticed every little detail of my office here. I’ve never seen someone so observant yet so closed off ... & I’ve seen some tough characters in my day. If you ever need to talk ...”
Umm, no?
I wish I knew how to act like I was “connecting” so it wouldn’t always be seen as a challenge to help me “break out of my shell”. Geez ... leave my shell alone! Now I know why there are those signs that say “Please do not knock on Aquarium glass!”
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Plus, don't you post about problems with your wife? Wait on the kids.....
