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This assumes that a bisexual person could only form a relationship with other bisexual people.
A bisexual person could have a partner who is bi, straight, or gay.
This reminds me of my daughter (bisexual) and her high school boyfriend. When they started dating, they got hilarious comments. He said so many ignorant hillbillies approached him, shocked that he had come out as bi all of a sudden. The ignorance was so stunning, you could only laugh.
FWIW, I find the title of your thread very telling and sad. You know what you are (ugh, labels...hate them) but are still asking why you can't have something else you categorize as "normal". Maybe that's where the issue really is. Its something you have to fix for yourself. I can't appreciate the reality of the situation you find yourself in. Please don't assume I'm judging you...not qualified or inclined to do that.
This. Normal is a fallacy. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. Normality is whatever constant within a group of people. My circle is a bunch of weed smoking, magic the gathering playing, listening to rock and metal, jokes and pop colture referencing, gay, bi, pan, lesbian and straight, anime watching people. For anybody else, that'd be weird. That is my normal. Stop tryin to live in the expectations of others and whatever "normal" is. You're bi, that is your normal, your hobbies are your normal, your friends and everyday life is your normal. Normal isn't real. Hell what may be "normal" for an entire damn country leaves others dumbfounded.
The common "wisdom" is that human sexuality is on a continuum from 100% gay to 100% straight. I am 100% straight - which means I can PERFECTLY relate to gay people. I have true understanding that you are attracted to one gender, which one doesn't matter to me with regards to other people (of course it matters to ME with regard to myself, LOL!) I am only attracted to men, and I can fully well understand why a gay man or woman is only attracted to the one gender. I know *I* don't want to have sexual relations with one of the two genders, and can fully well understand why someone else would be equally as put-off by the thought of having sex with the non-attractive-to-you gender.
However because I am 100% straight, I do NOT understand how someone is attracted to either-or. But I DO NOT HAVE to understand, only accept. So you're all good as far as I'm concerned.
However, shockingly, I discovered that acceptance of "bi" people seems to be LOWER among gays than it is among "straights". I have no idea why. I had a guy TELL me he was bi, currently living with a man, and later a mutual gay friend all but blew up at me when I mentioned this guy was bi. He insisted I was being bigoted calling him "bi" (which is what he called HIMSELF, not my idea) and that the guy was actually gay and not bi at all. His 3 marriages to women over the years and production of progeny notwithstanding. He was VERY angry over the issue and I did not argue with him or tell him that the guy had told me HIMSELF he was bi, since this guy seemed very bigoted against the idea of "bi" people. Didn't want to get my friend in trouble with this other friend.
Since then I have repeatedly been told by gay men (not sure what the stance is among gay women) that there is no such thing as "bi", those are just gay men who have been forced by society into THINKING they are bi. Nobody holding this view ever talks about bi WOMEN, but they insist bi men are all actually gay and are just "confused".
Really, people. Bigotry is bigotry. I don't care who you sleep with (as long as you're not cheating on anybody and as long as everyone is of legal age, competent, and willing). I do not understand why other people care either.
Infighting. It's no secret. Masculine gay men don't always like feminine gay men, lesbians don't always like gay men, nor always like lipstick lesbians whom are too straigt acting, both are not fans of bisexual or pansexual people. Some don't think transsexuals should be included, some of them don't like being included...ad nauseum...you get it. Then there's straight people...
Yeah I’m in GA. I would love to move to Colorado or Portland but it is expensive. I need to make a plan to save up some money. I’m kind of tired of the south
Yeah my anxiety may be tripping me up. I used to go to a counselor but she wasn’t a good one so i stopped going . It’s hard to find counselors that understand bi men.
Louisvilles not all that bad...everybody else but me seems to find what they want.
This being bi stuff really really sucks. When you say you are bisexual, most people don't even believe you because they think that males can't be bi. Bi people aren't accepted the same way that gays are. I know I can just "pretend" to be straight but why should I? Why isn't there a strong community of bisexuals the way there is for gays? I have never been with a partner that fully accepted me. I just worry I may miss out on true love. People say I should just not tell the partners I am with that I am bi, but why should I have to be with someone who doesn't fully accept me? I already get crap because I am not attracted to my own race so the last thing I need is crap for being bi. I wish I knew what straight people feel like....what it feels like to bring someone you love home to your family and they actually accept them...what it is like to be accepted by most of society. I don't know what I am trying to say really....just needed to vent.
I feel like part of your problem is that you don't realize that YOU are in charge, to a great extent, of what happens to you. And, that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
SO, Of course you can tell everyone you meet that you're bi. Nothing to be ashamed of. But is THAT the most important thing, in the moment, that you MUST share with an acquaintance? That's for you to decide, but you know what the reaction is. It's a choice you made, and a consequence YOU live with.
If the last thing you need is crap for being bi...then why are you telling everyone? Maybe be more discrete who you tell. But again...your decision, and you live with the results.
I feel like part of your problem is that you don't realize that YOU are in charge, to a great extent, of what happens to you. And, that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
SO, Of course you can tell everyone you meet that you're bi. Nothing to be ashamed of. But is THAT the most important thing, in the moment, that you MUST share with an acquaintance? That's for you to decide, but you know what the reaction is. It's a choice you made, and a consequence YOU live with.
If the last thing you need is crap for being bi...then why are you telling everyone? Maybe be more discrete who you tell. But again...your decision, and you live with the results.
I agree...but...
As I said with regard to fetishes in another thread, the only time I think it's ok to keep something like that a secret from a partner, is if you are truly, honestly, genuinely willing and able to put it behind you and not have it affect what you need going forward. If you're dating someone, and you know that one day you're likely to express your attraction to the opposite sex in some way, or they're likely to find out, don't blindside them with it well into the relationship. Let them know it is part of who you are, fairly up front.
That isn't a matter of broadcasting it to all and sundry...only being honest with people you're trying to form a relationship-thing with.
As I said with regard to fetishes in another thread, the only time I think it's ok to keep something like that a secret from a partner, is if you are truly, honestly, genuinely willing and able to put it behind you and not have it affect what you need going forward. If you're dating someone, and you know that one day you're likely to express your attraction to the opposite sex in some way, or they're likely to find out, don't blindside them with it well into the relationship. Let them know it is part of who you are, fairly up front.
That isn't a matter of broadcasting it to all and sundry...only being honest with people you're trying to form a relationship-thing with.
I completely agree. But again..that's in his control. A decision made, and a decision that needs to be owned. Well into the relationship is NOT the time. But surely, well BEFORE that point, it becomes apparent if there's potential for long term relationship, or not.
If you decide you're going to be monogamous, and exclusive, is it REALLY necessary to explain you're bi, and in the past, you've been with women AND men? If it is...OK, but he needs to own it, rather than blaming it on "I wish people were different".
I feel like part of your problem is that you don't realize that YOU are in charge, to a great extent, of what happens to you. And, that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
SO, Of course you can tell everyone you meet that you're bi. Nothing to be ashamed of. But is THAT the most important thing, in the moment, that you MUST share with an acquaintance? That's for you to decide, but you know what the reaction is. It's a choice you made, and a consequence YOU live with.
If the last thing you need is crap for being bi...then why are you telling everyone? Maybe be more discrete who you tell. But again...your decision, and you live with the results.
This response is ridiculous. What’s wrong with me wanting to be accepted for who I am? I feel like if I am going to be with someone shouldn’t they know the real me? You make no sense at all and your post comes off as an attack.
This response is ridiculous. What’s wrong with me wanting to be accepted for who I am? I feel like if I am going to be with someone shouldn’t they know the real me? You make no sense at all and your post comes off as an attack.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted for who you are.
The feeling I got was one of broadcasting the information to the world in general around you...which I cannot imagine you do. But it's there in the "people suck and cannot accept me" sentiments.
If you are going to BE with someone, well heck yes they should know you for who you are. Lies and secrets don't form the foundation of a healthy relationship.
Anyhow. Get outta the South, man. Go West. It's nice out here. Yeah, it's a bit on the pricey side compared to other places, but I think it's worth it.
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