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I've had absolutely no interest in sex since last year, and I'm in my mid 30's. To the point of turning down women who showed romantic interest in me.
Why? I don't have the guile to pull one-nighters, which leaves only one (legal) channel to sex: a relationship. And literally all my experiences with relationships, both first-hand and vicarious, were overwhelmingly negative. They were either filled with conflict or extremely codependent. I have not experienced or seen a single laid-back, fun, enjoyable relationship, at least not without strings or hidden obligations attached. Over time, age took its toll, and I lost all traces of desire for sex. While at a younger age, I saw putting up with a relationship as par for the course, today, sex just doesn't seem worth it in the slightest.
It's actually serving me pretty well. Female friends describe me as "cool". Other women seem to pick up on my apathy toward sex and feel comfortable with me, even when I flirt with them a little (more banter than sexual). As opposed to my situation 10 years ago, when a lot of women rejected me or flaked on me.
Having gone beyond my middle age, I find that I prefer sexual abstinence. If I wanted to, I could use drugs to solve my prostate problem. But I prefer not. This way my mind is at peace rather than having urges that only frustrate and cause so much stress.
Even with my last girlfriend, I never felt the slightest desire for intimacy. I don't know how Teresa felt about it but since she never mentioned it, I presume she felt the same way. Anyway there are many other recreational activities that one can engage in socially so we never experienced boredom at all. The relationship would have still continued if she had not been called back to the Philippines to care for an ailing family member.
Although there is some feeling of disappointment at her departure, there is no heartbreak at all, which is obviously due to lack of intimacy. This is why I avoid intimacy because in case of separation it will prevent any heartbreak.
One does not need sex in order to express affection. It can be also done by holding hands or hugging,etc. Does anyone agree with me? Also do any of you others practice sexual abstinence too? And why?
I think the relationship would have still continued if she/you would have been in love. An ailing family member is not a reason to break up for good. She was too polite to tell you the real reason. So the lack of intimacy to not have a breakup CAUSED a breakup. You broke up BECAUSE of the lack of intimacy. Is than an oxymoron? not sure.
I think the relationship would have still continued if she/you would have been in love. An ailing family member is not a reason to break up for good. She was too polite to tell you the real reason.
No, I don't think so. Because Teresa is an Asian, and Asians are known for their strong sense of Duty to their families. It's part of their culture. So I believe that her Familial Duty would overshadow our relationship. I respect her for that.
When I think of the relationships in my 40 yrs of single life after ONE marriage, I can almost scream, but we go thru what we go thru. My last so called man in my life was in my middle 60's as I remember and it was the LAST in my life...they lie, they do whatever for that "over rated sex"...had to go thru it though, it was part of my life. I'm 79 and content and some good and not so good memories.
I couldn't do it and don't know how people can live without it. But it is each persons right to choose what makes them happy.
I wouldn't be able to abstain from sex. If I wasn't in a long term relationship with my BF I would absolutely go back to the dating and fwb's situation because I know I would be miserable living without sex.
I couldn't do it and don't know how people can live without it. But it is each persons right to choose what makes them happy.
I wouldn't be able to abstain from sex. If I wasn't in a long term relationship with my BF I would absolutely go back to the dating and fwb's situation because I know I would be miserable living without sex.
Apples and oranges! As a woman, you can find obligation-free sex pretty easily. But for the majority of men, who aren't naturally desirable and can't pull one-nighters on a whim, sex comes with tons of strings attached. To the point of not being worth it.
I am a (straight) woman in my early 50s and have had only one partner in my entire life. Our relationship was brief, less than a couple of years while I we were both in our mid/late 40s. I have a recurring physiological problem that makes intercourse difficult or impossible. I overcame it before we officially got together, and we'd have sex like a pair of eager rabbits. But the stress of our breakup, which was not mutual, caused it to return. I've never again been able to defeat it again. It's nothing contagious, is not a disease of any kind, but is simply a physiological problem. I also cannot have full medical exams on account of it.
I will probably never be in a relationship again in part because of this, but it's heartening to know that there are others who would be happy in a relationship without intercourse. (I do have a very healthy libido, but satisfying it does not require intercourse.) If the other person wanted no physical intimacy at all (no spooning, no kissing, no cuddling), though, that would be a real problem for me. I miss that very much.
Apples and oranges! As a woman, you can find obligation-free sex pretty easily. But for the majority of men, who aren't naturally desirable and can't pull one-nighters on a whim, sex comes with tons of strings attached. To the point of not being worth it.
If more men put as much effort in their looks as women in general imho they'd be just as desirable. Like when I see a healthy, strong, guy with long hair(my preference for men) well groomed facial hair, and even eye make up(which is hot on men to me) whom has healthy sexy body odor I'd be hella turned on just seeing and smelling him. I'm sure more women get very hot for sexy men just looking at them but a lot may keep that persona secret.
If more men put as much effort in their looks as women in general imho they'd be just as desirable. Like when I see a healthy, strong, guy with long hair(my preference for men) well groomed facial hair, and even eye make up(which is hot on men to me) whom has healthy sexy body odor I'd be hella turned on just seeing and smelling him. I'm sure more women get very hot for sexy men just looking at them but a lot may keep that persona secret.
yep, effort + confidence and one foot is in the door already. Tell that the whiners in the relationship forum.
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