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I instantly trust people when they act nice to me. Even though they are not as nice and they seem to be. My previous manager treated me well with kind words, but all suddenly he fired me due to low performance. He also played dirty by reporting to EDD that I quit my job voluntarily. When people treat me nice, I can't resist to trust them with all my mind. I have a hard time saying no. People used me for their benefit all the time. People around me act so nice, but they stab me in the back. What is going on with me?
Why am I easily manipulated by others?
When people treat me nice, I can't resist to trust them with all my mind.
I have a hard time saying no. People used me for their benefit all the time. What is going on with me?
In your example you cited an adult workplace experience. I'll call that a red herring.
I suspect the pattern began a LONG time ago.
Q: When/How do you recall these behaviors first showing up?
Last edited by MrRational; 05-01-2024 at 07:39 AM..
It is human nature. Assume that you will always lose your job, and just try to make things work while you have them in place. Have back-up plans if you can. If the company you lost your job from is big enough, could you re-apply and work with someone else? Keep your options as open as possible. Stay as fresh and relevant as you can.
I instantly trust people when they act nice to me. Even though they are not as nice and they seem to be. My previous manager treated me well with kind words, but all suddenly he fired me due to low performance. He also played dirty by reporting to EDD that I quit my job voluntarily. When people treat me nice, I can't resist to trust them with all my mind. I have a hard time saying no. People used me for their benefit all the time. People around me act so nice, but they stab me in the back. What is going on with me?
I'm going to throw this out there, but you may not understand it... yet.
You allow people to run all over you, but you take no responsibility in the part you are playing.
You have to set boundaries within yourself that don't allow people to wrong you. If they do, you take appropriate action to address the issue and move on. You don't just go along with things even if you don't want to. You need another coat of skin if you get my drift.......in other words, pony UP and stand up for yourself. If you don't respect yourself, nobody else will. Savvy?
You have to set boundaries within yourself that don't allow people to wrong you. If they do, you take appropriate action to address the issue and move on. You don't just go along with things even if you don't want to. You need another coat of skin if you get my drift.......in other words, pony UP and stand up for yourself. If you don't respect yourself, nobody else will. Savvy?
Yes yes this.
Remember OP, the only people who take issue with you setting boundaries are the people who benefit from you not having any.
Since you don't like to say "no", but you can do instead is say "yes BUT on the condition that this person does this/that."
If so and so doesn't reciprocate on what they said, any time they ask you something else, then you can ask them to do that thing you asked them to AND something else FIRST. That way, you aren't saying "no" straight out without potential for positive recourse, but you're asking for respect.
I instantly trust people when they act nice to me. Even though they are not as nice and they seem to be. My previous manager treated me well with kind words, but all suddenly he fired me due to low performance. He also played dirty by reporting to EDD that I quit my job voluntarily. When people treat me nice, I can't resist to trust them with all my mind. I have a hard time saying no. People used me for their benefit all the time. People around me act so nice, but they stab me in the back. What is going on with me?
Let's look at the specific incident. There's not a contradiction between a manager being nice and still firing you for low performance. A big part of your introspection will be to determine whether he was being mean or realistic. Then carry that introspection across the other things in your background that lead you to believe people are being mean or is there some other factor that leads to that impression?
I'm going to throw this out there, but you may not understand it... yet.
You allow people to run all over you, but you take no responsibility in the part you are playing.
You have to set boundaries within yourself that don't allow people to wrong you. If they do, you take appropriate action to address the issue and move on. You don't just go along with things even if you don't want to. You need another coat of skin if you get my drift.......in other words, pony UP and stand up for yourself. If you don't respect yourself, nobody else will. Savvy?
Couldn't disagree more. In every day life, I make it a point to be initially respectful to all people regardless of whether or not I think they respect themselves. Because I have to remember that my observation of them is skewed, and while I'm free to think what I want about them, I certainly don't have the right to treat them however I want. So I believe you're trying to help and you're certainly not wrong about how society works, but it wouldn't be fair to let the OP think that they're responsible for others' misbehavior.
If anything, people that go through what neoiey is describing are often targeted because they possess some sort of virtuous or attractive qualities that might be threatening to some people. Without knowing more, I'm not sure that he/she needs to change anything about themselves at all.
People can be a-holes, and there's not always something that can be done about it, except for avoiding these types as much as possible.
When people treat me nice, I can't resist to trust them with all my mind.
The more emotionally-dependent or insecure you are, the more likely you’ll be manipulated. It’s a matter of confidence and setting your own boundaries. Trust takes time; it requires listening to what people say and the context in which it is said as well as noting their overall tone or attitude relative to numerous conversations and scenarios.
Quote:
Originally Posted by neoiey
I instantly trust people when they act nice to me. Even though they are not as nice and they seem to be. My previous manager treated me well with kind words, but all suddenly he fired me due to low performance.
That said, are you suggesting your manager manipulated you into being fired or that you trusted he wouldn’t, despite your low performance. Trust is about respect, confidence, honesty and dependability (in the workplace); friendliness enhances positive communication relative to such. It is not the basis for trust, in and of itself.
Last edited by CorporateCowboy; Yesterday at 12:31 PM..
Reason: added quote/response
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