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My oldest girl Gypsy had been holding her own against that old age thing for a while now. She wasn't having any major issues for the most part, and her quality of life was ok. But over the past few months her appetite had waned, and she had become very thin. She was also drinking a lot of water, and my vet said it was likely kidney failure, or one of the other "you can't do much about" things. Long ago I decided that I'm pretty much going to let nature take it's course, as long as they aren't suffering or no quality of life. I don't have the resources, or the emotional tools, to deal with prolonging their lives when recovery isn't really in the cards. And I've come to believe that's not the best for them anyway.
Over the weekend Gypsy was acting a bit 'off', and was extra clingy to me. I had been watching her closely for a few weeks, and her daily life seemed normal though she wasn't eating much. But yesterday morning she had a seizure while trying eat. I found her lying by her food bowl with dilated eyes and stiff legs. She came out of it a little and tried to stand up, but she couldn't. A few minutes went by and there was no change. My vet said to bring her out, and once there he advised what I already knew..... that there wasn't much we could do for her, and she might not regain her motor function.
I couldn't stand seeing her like that, so I made the decision I know was right for her. She passed peacefully in my arms, where she always loved to be. She had 15-1/2 good years here, and she gave as much love as she received.
All of our cats are special, and she was as well. She loved people, but other cats... not so much. She only bonded with one human at a time. For the first 5 years of her life she was my wife's cat, and only let me pet her if she didn't have anything better to do. After my wife passed, Gypsy transferred that bond to me. She was a lapcat and loved to cuddle. She had to be where I was all the time, and always had to be touching me if laying close enough. Her possessiveness made her a little pain in the butt sometimes, but she knew how con her way back into your good graces. She was indeed 'special'.
As they all do, she took a little piece of my heart with her. I'm going to miss her terribly.
Oh Catdad! It is easy to day that you did the right thing. It still hurts and a small part of you went with her. Hang in there share all the love you have with your pride.
In tears ...
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