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This has already been posted in another forum but thought I'd better post it here for specific information to NC, and particularly to Wake Forest/Raleigh.
After 20 years of marriage, we are unfortunately heading for separation. For multiple reasons, I have decided to be the one to leave. I am hoping for this to not end in divorce but in reconciliation. We have 3 adult children still in the home so no custody/child support issues. I am just starting a new job after being unemployed for 8 months. Money has been tight and will be until I can get settled on my own.
I need some advice regarding how to proceed. I have been reading on the web that a separation agreement should be put in place. Does anyone know approximately how much a lawyer would charge for this? If I draw something up myself and have our signatures notarized, is it binding? Can anyone recommend someone local to Wake Forest or Raleigh?
Thanks so much, I appreciate it.
Last edited by Strongasabear; 02-01-2013 at 10:13 AM..
This has already been posted in another forum but thought I'd better post it here for specific information to NC, and particularly to Wake Forest/Raleigh.
After 20 years of marriage, we are unfortunately heading for separation. For multiple reasons, I have decided to be the one to leave. I am hoping for this to not end in divorce but in reconciliation. We have 3 adult children still in the home so no custody/child support issues. I am just starting a new job after being unemployed for 8 months. Money has been tight and will be until I can get settled on my own.
I need some advice regarding how to proceed. I have been reading on the web that a separation agreement should be put in place. Does anyone know approximately how much a lawyer would charge for this? If I draw something up myself and have our signatures notarized, is it binding? Can anyone recommend someone local to Wake Forest or Raleigh?
Thanks so much, I appreciate it.
In NC you need a separation agreement first. Not like some other states where a divorce petition is filed first. Yes, you can draw up your own separation agreement and have it recorded in the clerk's office at the court. But I would not advise that at all ! and lawyers' fees vary, but it is well worth it to get a domestic relations attorney to draw it up for you because you will get invaluable advice. There are lawyer referral services everywhere, and you should call the local Bar Association for a referral, you may even get a pro bono attorney for no charge.
If you do decide to proceed to divorce, in NC there is a one year and one day waiting period after filing for separation. Plaintiff (the one asking for divorce) files a separation agreement, then the clock starts to tick. On the 366th day, an actual divorce kicks in if you want, and a complaint is served on the defendant. Then the defendant has 30 days I believe it is to answer. This is why you definitely need an attorney... there is nothing simple about it.
Thanks. How would I go about having my own agreement recorded in the clerk's office at the court? Are you able to provide any more info on a pro bono attorney?
Date of separation used to be the date that you no longer lived under that roof.
Official Agreement or not ...
That is when the year to divorce began. Maybe its changed..
Date of separation used to be the date that you no longer lived under that roof.
Official Agreement or not ...
That is when the year to divorce began. Maybe its changed..
That's the way it was when my ex and I separated. A separation agreement was not necessary to "start the clock" and we didn't have one.
If you and your wife can write up a separation agreement or with the help of a mediator, then that would be a more affordable way to do it than with a lawyer. Plus, a mediator (in my experience) can help keep the two of you talking instead of creating more division. A mediator can also help create a divorce agreement if it comes to that. We used the Dispute Settlement Center in Carrboro. They may be able to recommend someone closer to you.
I am thinking QuilterChick meant that it is a really good idea to have a separation agreement first, not that you technically "need" one. How else are you going to decide who gets what?
OP - Rosen website also has forums where you can get some actual legal advice. I would take your questions there.
Some ballpark figures:
Sit down in a lawyers office: $250
Write your own agreement, have lawyer "make it legal" - $2K. (Per person if you both want a lawyer).
Have mediator write the agreement $2K - $4K. But then you probably still need lawyer anyway.
The old-fashioned lawyer v. lawyer route $10K per person. (assuming court is not necessary)
These are just the numbers from my own experience - YMMV!
You dont legally need a separation agreement in NC. My lawyer told me if we can do it without involving lawyers (if both parties are somewhat grown up about and its amicable) he told us to save ourselves a bunch of money and try work it out between us. But if we cant, then he would be more that happy to help.
We did work it out between us (now happily divorced) and didn't have to involve any lawyers. I would definitely recommend sitting down with a good lawyer and finding out what each of you is entitled to and how you should split things up.
In NC you just have to be separated (living apart) for greater 1 year before you get divorced.
After that is when it can get expensive if either party is not happy with what they get out of the split (alimony, child support, assets etc.)
Lawyers will volunteer their time on Saturday nationwide as part of Ask a Lawyer day, and Chapel Hill is following suit.
President of the Orange County Criminal Defense Bar Daniel Hatley says people can show up at the Seymour Senior Center without an appointment and get their legal questions answered.
“It runs the gamut: real estate, divorce, pretty much anything,” Hatley says. “Law touches so many different aspects of people’s lives so almost anything can be brought up. We’re not promising that we all have expertise in the issue that you want to bring to us, but we can at least point you in the direction of somebody who does have expertise in that area.”
Each person is limited to 30 minutes with a legal expert, so Hatley says some issues may not be answered completely.
“We’re not going to be able to solve your divorce quandary, but we can put you on the right track in those 30 minutes,” Hatley says.
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