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This seems like a great place to get honest info and opinions, so I'll make my first post very specific.
We (wife & I) have been doing the typical "time to leave NY and focus on our young son and actually afford a quality of life" routine. Have checked out Chapel Hill, Wilmington, Austin, Charlottesville & Asheville in the last 3 years. Came back to White Plains each time with the same, "Nice, but not drawing us there" attitude. Was told to avoid Cary due to the acronym "C.A.R.Y." But, now I'm not so sure. Most posts speak highly of the area and the integration of Northerners with NC-ers. "Clean" "Safe" "Affordable" "Good schools", also come up a lot. Apex, Holly Springs, Fuquay & Wake all sound interesting, too.
Here's a back story. I'm 50 (tomorrow!) and my wife is 32. Not a trophy wife, she just wasn't ready yet when I was looking!! ; ) That's somewhat irrelevant to the story, but maybe not. She is from Baton Rouge, I am a Ny-er, but not a typical one. My wife claims I'm a Suthun boy - hence the screen name. She is god's purest definition of a good soul. I can be a little rough around the edges. I've lived in tough Yonkers neighborhoods, went to both yuppie and "greaser" schools and lived in the deepest bowels and nicest sections of NYC over the last 30 years, but have a good heart. A real multi-cultural upbringing. I am a traditional artist, first generation American (French-German) and have been a big-wig Art Director in TV for 20 years. Most of my free time is spent hiking, biking, gardening, aerobie tossing and exploring with my 5 year old son. Our house is small, but our yard is a vast oasis and surrounded by woodland. My wife & I have become somewhat reclusive because we live deep in the suburbs and haven't really connected with our neighbors due to a lack of a town, pre-school-age kid and most of our friends still live in NYC (20 miles away). We hunt for those little out of the way spots that have charm and good eats, but don't meet many similar people here. We've been lovingly referred to as "Countripolitans". Finally, my career in the TV field has ended - a combination of younger & cheaper labor, my lack of interest in the subject matter and my desire to do something a little more personal. Despite all our years experience, we're going broke here.
I have started a personal video biography business and its off to a slow start. People here aren't really warm & fuzzy about their life. Living expenses are catching up fast and we are ready to start looking again. We've always wanted to be a part of an intelligent and social community and to do something together in an area with good folks that live a little slower and can appreciate custom made stuff - art, food, etc. We love NY geographically - mountains & sea within an hour, long walks along the Hudson River & mountain biking in the Catskills, but not so much some of the people (surprisingly coarse for the fringes of a big metropolis - post 9/11 aggression?), the cost & rat race. We can probably afford a decent mid-priced house in NC, but have no real "job" prospects. Can't find diddly in the "Art" fields down there. My wife was an Operations Manager in Sports TV, which may relate to some of the tech firms.
We've thought to open up a little diner / antique shop / art gallery with eclectic food (plus her great cakes) and attract likeminded folks. To meet people that would trade recipes and enjoy hosting dinner parties. Who want to be physically active as long as their body holds out. Discuss music (old & new) and swap garden plants. To explore and travel. Be open minded, but comfortable with their preferences. Liberal leaning with somewhat conservative morals - I guess moderates. Every once in a while, do something radical! Skinny dip or go dancing til 4. Or challenge someone to a barbecue-off. (Tomato versus vinegar!!)
Still with me? (Long-winded is also a trait) Anyhow, here are our concerns (Please - no offense intended. We aren't as highbrow as this may sound - just diverse):
With the mountains 2 hours to the West & the ocean 2 hours to the East, is there anything to do there? Is everyone purely medical - tech - real estate work minded? Is there a thriving pulse to be found or is it only bedroom communities to RTP and minivans en route to soccer games? The bike / hike paths all seem a little short and the zoning seem restrictive of "unique" establishments. Backyard pools seem dominated by swim clubs & golf clubs. Does everything close up at 9PM?
Again, no offense. Just inquiring. We may have children, but I refuse to slow down and become a p**p. We are a couple with vitality who seek same. All I'm asking is, are there others like us there?
To whom it may concern - you're troopers for having read this far.... All respectful comments appreciated.
Move down here and look us up! You seem like the type of people we'd like to meet. And I want some of those cakes.
As far as a community, it seems from what you have mentioned that you would probably like Carrborro/Chapel Hill a little more than some of the other places around here. Or you may even like the outskirts of this area more. I don't know much about them since I just moved here a year ago myself. But there are good people here who can send you in the right direction. But as far as opening the type of business you describe, Chapel Hill would be a good area. Lot's of artsy folk out that way, college town, more woods and trees (I have seen anyway) than around Cary and other newbie places near Raleigh. I don't know much about Durham either.
As far as not being drawn to Cary, I guess it all depends on what is more important to you. I claim I wouldn't live there, but I can't deny the good aspects. I mean it is pretty clean and people don't poo in the street there.
I know you said you have visited already, but we visited before we moved here too and we were a little surprised after moving. I don't know if it is the perspective or what. Honestly, I just tell people to jump in and do it. It is the only way you will really figure out if you like it or not. I know that isn't the most realistic advice for many people, and many of the older folk here tell me I'm naive, but really you only live once, why not try it.
It worked out perfectly for us. I found my niche that I would not have found career wise back home and I'm actually happy for once in my life.
I would have to agree with the chapel hill/carrboro or even hillsborough area. ALthough hillsborough is more "small town" with things closing early, it is close to chapel hill and carrboro. Carrboro definitely has a great vibe, supports many artists and local businesses. The housing can be "expensive" but I think that is all relative to what you are looking for. Back in the "day" when I was in high school (20 years ago), cary was just this "country setting" and no one could figure out why people would live there. Morrisville was just a town that housed the airport. But chapel hill and carrboro were there, still supporting the artisan community and the local businesses.
Anyhow, I would check out that area when you come back to town.
It sounds like you are trying to move to lower your living expenses while maintaining your standard of living (especially culture and civility). If you have tried Chapel Hill and weren't impressed, maybe you should explore the further reaches of the NYC metropolitan area but a place where your living expenses would be lower. Your business sounds pretty specialized and like one that would require a larger city to support. I think that I would put proximity to a major airport on the list, if you want to head back to NY for jobs. Best wishes. Don't rush.
Suthun Yank, I agree with Retail Queen's advice: Just pack up and move! You sound like someone I'd be happy to hang out with.
I'm going to be heading back to Raleigh this weekend to find a place to live in one of my preferred neighbourhoods (Cameron Village, Oakwood, or 5 Points). Despite the fact I know very little about the area, I'm learning a lot quickly. I'd be happy to talk with you about how a "rough around the edges" New Yorker such as yourself (and myself - but I bailed out of the city 16 years ago - it was my 30th b-day present to myself) can find happiness in the area. Oh, and just FYI...my sweetie and I are two of those arty folks too - so you'll be in good company.
Suthun Yank, I agree with Retail Queen's advice: Just pack up and move! You sound like someone I'd be happy to hang out with.
I'm going to be heading back to Raleigh this weekend to find a place to live in one of my preferred neighbourhoods (Cameron Village, Oakwood, or 5 Points). Despite the fact I know very little about the area, I'm learning a lot quickly. I'd be happy to talk with you about how a "rough around the edges" New Yorker such as yourself (and myself - but I bailed out of the city 16 years ago - it was my 30th b-day present to myself) can find happiness in the area. Oh, and just FYI...my sweetie and I are two of those arty folks too - so you'll be in good company.
Feel free to PM me.
eileen
GO FOR IT!!!
Seriously, you don't have much to lose, your not working there, and you want a change, so try something new, you only go around once!! Besides you sound like you have moxy - use it.
My husband and I just bought our house in Raleigh, and waiting for our house to sell. He has to stay in CA until he turns 50, which is in October, but I will be heading out before the ink dries on the contract when the house sells.
We love to camp, anytime any where, but our kind of camping might not be your kind of camping. We have a large fifth wheel, and making margaritas and sitting watching the sun sink over a lake somewhere is "camping" to us.
Plus we have a pontoon and waverunners, so in the summer, that is where you will always find us, in the water. I cannot wait to live near a lake (a brown muddy lake) to use all the time. Here in CA, we have about a five hour drive to any body of fresh water, so we would spend the evenings after work on Friday nights, driving, get there late at night, spend all day Saturday on the water, and head for home on Sunday. Now we can just pop over in about 20 minutes. Yippeeee skipppeeee. Plus camping at Lake Jordan looks unbelievable. I haven't seen the campsites at Falls Lake, but I am looking forward to checking it out. So see, there are tons of people heading out to NC that are adventerous. You will feel right at home. Maybe we should have a fun "reunion" with all of us on this forum this summer at one of the lakes???
Suthun Yank - sounds like you are ready for a real change - and NY to NC is a real change. Do it! And you know they probably have TV stations down in Raleigh/Durham area too, if you or your wife still wanted to keep in that field. Though I am sure they don't pay as much - but, look where you would be living. Aaaaaaahhhhh! Smell the flowers, sit in the shade and sip some sweet tea, and I bet you will wonder why you ever thought twice about moving.
I have started a personal video biography business and its off to a slow start. People here aren't really warm & fuzzy about their life.
Hmm.. this is a tough one. I've heard personal video biography does great in Utah but I personally could not live there. I grew up in NC, live in Portland and am moving back to NC this summer.
I've tried to get my parents to do a personal video bio type thing with me for the grandkids and it's tough to get them to talk about themselves. Maybe because I'm their daughter.
About 10 + years ago a oral historian graduate student at UNC Chapel Hill interviewed some of the older women in the little town I grew up in. I remember my aunt saying that the gal had a hard time getting the women to talk about themselves and their histories.
BUT I would not let this antidotal information stop you from moving to NC. Creative types always have a way of reinventing themselves to make life work. You sound like you are just that sort.
BTW, you let me know where your cake/antique/art shop is and I'll come hang out and buy stuff. Creative souls are always welcome company for us!
Have fun reinventing your life. That's kind of what we are in the middle of doing too!
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And I want some of those cakes. 
