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Old 11-29-2015, 10:00 PM
 
Location: South
253 posts, read 172,352 times
Reputation: 685

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
My ex had honorable discharge after 18 months of service, due to injury. He did not qualify for medical treatment or a VA loan.
I bet he had tons of people who had never served try to tell him what he was and wasn't entitled to. That seriously annoys me. Or they'll insist you (or ex) are lying.

In my experience, it can be a crapshoot on whether or not one can force the VA to pay monthly benefits and/or provide medical care, especially those related to injury incurred while serving. I still really don't know how they finally decided to pay out for me. Could have just gotten tired of looking at my face every few months or maybe some nice person was handling my paperwork at just the right time. I do wonder if I can achieve the same results with the VA loan. If I just keep appealing maybe a decade from now someone will get tired of it and just approve me out of exasperation.
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Old 11-30-2015, 03:37 AM
 
6,895 posts, read 3,697,439 times
Reputation: 4609
Quote:
Originally Posted by so954 View Post
Due to a military service injury?
Yes he was injured while in the military, during pt training and not combat.
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Old 11-30-2015, 03:40 AM
 
6,895 posts, read 3,697,439 times
Reputation: 4609
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyeBright View Post
I bet he had tons of people who had never served try to tell him what he was and wasn't entitled to. That seriously annoys me. Or they'll insist you (or ex) are lying.

In my experience, it can be a crapshoot on whether or not one can force the VA to pay monthly benefits and/or provide medical care, especially those related to injury incurred while serving. I still really don't know how they finally decided to pay out for me. Could have just gotten tired of looking at my face every few months or maybe some nice person was handling my paperwork at just the right time. I do wonder if I can achieve the same results with the VA loan. If I just keep appealing maybe a decade from now someone will get tired of it and just approve me out of exasperation.
Lol you are right, but most people didn't know that was where he was injured.

My dad was an officer in the military, now retired. He is not all gung-ho military either and he would have never encouraged his children to join.
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Old 11-30-2015, 08:02 AM
 
10,227 posts, read 6,379,202 times
Reputation: 10775
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
People are more generous after tragedy. I am sure if I started campaigning for people to donate money to a struggling single mom, the results would not be equivalent to your coworkers situation.

It is truly awful that his daughter will grow up without him, but the money would have been better suited to be given to cover his daughters needs. A funeral, especially an elaborate funeral, is a waste of money.
Maybe since they asked for funeral funds they thought that they could only use the funds for that. A basic funeral will cost over $10K in a lot of places so $18k is high, but not extravagant horse drawn, or $15K wooden casket.
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Old 11-30-2015, 11:10 AM
 
25,680 posts, read 49,386,564 times
Reputation: 19133
They decided on the type and cost and then the question was how to pay for it...

Social media, go fund me, relatives, friends, classmates... etc.

I was really amazed how they were able to do it in about 10 days.

Still, of all the things a young child/family might need... it just struck me as extravagant... but so does a 20k wedding for kids starting out.
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Old 11-30-2015, 11:53 AM
 
10,227 posts, read 6,379,202 times
Reputation: 10775
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post
They decided on the type and cost and then the question was how to pay for it...

Social media, go fund me, relatives, friends, classmates... etc.

I was really amazed how they were able to do it in about 10 days.

Still, of all the things a young child/family might need... it just struck me as extravagant... but so does a 20k wedding for kids starting out.
$20K is a low budget wedding in many areas. I think my sister paid over $10 K over 30 years ago for a nice but modest wedding in a hotel banquet hall.
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Old 11-30-2015, 12:15 PM
 
25,680 posts, read 49,386,564 times
Reputation: 19133
I've been to both ends of the spectrum and in different countries... can honestly say some of the most enjoyable were low budget or modest in cost.

My brother had a very nice wedding... his bride was the only daughter and her family had saved for that day... and it was right their at the top...

I've also been to weddings at a church with the reception at the gym and all of the food was prepared by family and friends...

When I worked in Austria I attended several weddings... the entire village is invited and it is at least 12 hours... starts at noon at the church and then to a tavern... the bride and groom pay for the church which is almost nothing and they pay for the head table... i.e. parents, grandparents, godparents and bridal party and music... since all our welcome and it could easily be 400+ people... all the guests pay for their own meal and beverages from a wedding menu...

When I asked about the custom I was told how could a young couple starting out pay for a wedding that would take years to pay for... and of course they are right...

Since this is about housing... they hardest part their is finding building ground... they the shell is built and over the course of many years different levels are finished out as the family expands... mostly paid for in cash for building materials... labor is often exchanged with family and friends...

So very little debt and years in the making... when finished some of the homes I have seen could easily sell for 600 to 800k... sweat equity.
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Old 11-30-2015, 02:04 PM
 
6,895 posts, read 3,697,439 times
Reputation: 4609
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post

Still, of all the things a young child/family might need... it just struck me as extravagant... but so does a 20k wedding for kids starting out.

I have also found expensive weddings to be a waste of money. One of my moms friends daughter, spent $30k on the wedding and they can't even afford to move out of his parents house. The courthouse would have been less than $100 and the $30k would have helped get them into their own home.. But what do I know...
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Old 11-30-2015, 02:15 PM
 
10,227 posts, read 6,379,202 times
Reputation: 10775
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I have also found expensive weddings to be a waste of money. One of my moms friends daughter, spent $30k on the wedding and they can't even afford to move out of his parents house. The courthouse would have been less than $100 and the $30k would have helped get them into their own home.. But what do I know...
I agree, expensive weddings are ridiculous especially if you can't afford them. Just rent a hall, have it modestly catered or invite less people. I used to work in a restaurant hotel and we used to have a weekend seafood buffet for $30. They had a side room and would rent it out for receptions and it was very economical for a couple to spend $1500 for 50 guests to enjoy dinner with them to celebrate the marriage.

I've gone to 2 hall weddings one was at a nights of columbus type place and I was younger and it was my friends sister. think she got knocked up. And another one in the basement of a church same thing knocked up bride but both reception dinners were fine, it's just people want to be fancier and live about their means.

When my sister did spend $10k 30 years ago she got about that much in cash gifts so it was worth it and they had saved up and I think my parents helped and they vacationed in Hawaii and bought a home a few years later.
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Old 11-30-2015, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
10,953 posts, read 11,348,373 times
Reputation: 16969
Quote:
Originally Posted by rodentraiser View Post
You're forgetting commute time and waking up time before leaving for work. You're also forgetting that while a person works 8 hours a day, he's more than likely at work 9 1/2 to 10 hours a day, because he may come in early, be asked to stay late, and has a half hour or an hour for lunch.

I had an extreme commute, but you could say "it only added 5 hours on to an 8 hour workday". So what did I do with the rest of my time?

Well, try it this way instead:

4am get up
4:45 leave house to drive to bus in Belfair
5:30am bus leaves for ferry in Bremerton
6:10am bus arrives at ferry in Bremerton
6:20am ferry leaves Bremerton
7:25am ferry arrives in Seattle
7:30am catch bus to work in Seattle
7:50am bus arrives at work in Seattle
8am start work
noon to 1:30 lunch
4:30pm leave work to take bus to ferry dock in Seattle
4:50 bus arrives at ferry
5:00pm ferry leaves Seattle
6:10pm ferry arrives Bremerton
6:20pm bus leaves Bremerton
7pm bus arrives in parking lot in Belfair
7:05pm get in my car and drive home
7:45pm arrive home and cook dinner
8:30pm bed

wash, rinse, and repeat for 5 days

Did I have weekends free? Of course I did! And I washed, cleaned, did laundry, shopped for groceries, cleaned rat cages, worked in the yard, and tried to cook meals I could freeze and then just throw in the oven to heat up during the week. I even slept sometimes.

Why don't you do a schedule like that and see how much motivation you have at the end of the day, or the week, or the month?
Yeah, everybody has an excuse. You're not motivated. Check. You like living in the boonies and commuting 6 hours a day. Check. The rest of it is just a typical lifestyle. I brown bagged every lunch I ever ate at work, and took a thermos of coffee to drink. Cooking on weekends is very part time, particularly if you use a crock pot. Laundry is the same. Once an hour you put the last load in the dryer, start a new load and fold or put the dry clothes on hangers. I worked 60 hours a week at hard physical labor plus commuting time and still managed to vacuum the rug, in between hanging drywall, plumbing and painting.

The bottom line is you're not willing to do what it takes to avoid mortgaging your future. Either your job or your lifestyle has to go. If it's a great job, move somewhere with a shorter commute and start looking for distressed property close to work. If you really don't want to work toward a house, don't whine about not being able to afford one. As you note, it's all about motivation.
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