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Boy, they really know how to play you, don't they? Talk about guilt! You haven't even been on a freakin' date in months, and already he has you dating, getting married, and the woman hating the house and wanting to move elsewhere. For all you know, any woman you meet might just LOVE living in an almost-new house away from the hustle and bustle. Or, hey, she might get a different job and rather move and live near HER family -- 600 miles away.
The area "can become bad"? They should look around their own neighborhood. ANY neighborhood can start on the downhill path. All it takes is a few families who neglect their home, park a few cars in the yard, or hold parties every weekend where the police get called and voila! The neighborhood starts going to the dogs. People start leaving and may decide to rent their current home, the tenants aren't as careful as they could be, the neighborhood slides a little more, and the next thing you know, you have painted tires on the lawn pretending to be a garden planter and pink flamingos peeking out from behind overgrown shrubs.
The point is: You don't know the future, and neither does your father. The homes are less expensive because they are further from town. But around here, the town grew towards the suburbs, so a home that was purchased for a little over $150,000 20 years ago "way out in the sticks" is now worth almost $500,000, because the city moved in that direction, jobs and retail and schools started appear, and more and more people liked the idea of living a little further from the city center and paying less for a house, because they got a bigger house to raise their family in for a relatively modest commute. The area is now in high demand.
What gets me also is that there are more cons than pros if I look for a older home. I have to dish out repair and cleaning costs versus on a new construction where everything is new. My first home was a new construction and I doubt that if I find an existing home that it will look good as new because some sellers just to the bare essentials just to get it sold. And the condition of the house bothers me.
Do you HATE commuting? (I despise it after doing it forever - very far)
Do YOU want to be closer than 40 miles to visit your parents or do you have the type of lifestyle where they used to visit YOU on weekends and you want to make it easier for them?
I would definitely stay with them though for now until you decide instead of say, moving to an apartment. Keep saving money.
Not ALL preowned homes are as you describe - maybe it's where you're looking. Your parents are half right that NEW CONSTRUCTION can be a crap shoot. I know first hand.
I'm a dog walker and work in some really gorgeous homes that look very modest from the outside but they've even been overimproved.
I had a criminal defense lawyer client who lived in what looked to be a little bungalow in a very run of the mill neighborhood. OMG the inside was like Architectural Digest. With super duper security LOL. He even had an addition put on the back that was hidden from the front. All you saw was a faux decorative peaked roof but it wasn't.
SOME HOUSES DON'T GO ON THE MARKET when they're really nice. The AGENT sells them privately.
You MAY need a new agent!
My condo was 1987 built but TOTALLY REBUILT from the wiring out due to a hurricane 2004. Nicest condo in the HOA and I bought it that way in 2008 - the people never even lived in it after fixing it up but didn't want to sell it till then. An agent called me when the people contacted her and it never hit the MLS.
My philosophy is the standard LOCATION first. You NEVER want the nicest house in the neighborhood if the neighborhood isn't competitive.
Worst case scenario you may want to look at condos where you are OWNING and will get appreciation on your place - but I'm PRAYING that housing stops increasing. VERY bad for the economy.
I am going through a tough time trying to find a house. I sold my townhome last summer In one suburb that I had for a long time. I wanted to take a break from looking at new properties because the moving experience was tough and wanted to wait through the winter. I moved in with my folks temporarily . I am 40 years old. I have a good job and all. When I sold the property I made an ok equity on the house but need to save a little bit toward the next place. My folks said move in with them temporarily until I find something that I like. Well with the housing now that it is a buyers market it is pretty tough getting to make a. Offer on a new property because of the competition. I started looking last month and I lost against 3 offers. So I went to look at new construction in a development and the houses were at a right price for me but however my commute to work would be 24 miles one way and 40 miles to my folks if I visit. But it is already 19.5 miles when j travel to work from my folks house and they live in a major city. They flipped out on me that I want to buy in a new development that far and I didn't even sign to the getting the new construction yet. And I do t want to look to much at old construction because if the money I have to put into the house because of it previously owned by someone. And my first home was a new construction . My first home was about 36 miles from my folks house and 24 miles commute to work. I ended up selling my first home because of the neighborhood was getting bad with rentals and a lot of foreclosures. But the new area that I am going to is better but they are flipping out because of the commute . I am basically having a nervous breakdown with this. Please help with what I should do????
I think your parents have way too much say in where you decide to live and you're allowing them to do that. They've lived their lives. You've got to live yours and do what's right for you. You're 40 years old. You're not that young kid that they had to take care of anymore. Get yourself out of that role. You need to stand up for yourself.
As far as commute goes, I only wish my husband had a 20 mile commute.
Keep looking and buy where you can afford and what suits you best but don't stay too long with mom and dad or I have a feeling you'l never get out of there. They're coming up with reason's why you should stay and you're coming up with excuses.
When you sold your house was that the plan to move in with your parents?
I know nothing about what I'm about to say but maybe you should ask someone. Capital Gains tax.. are you going to have to pay that if you don't get a house soon?
Last edited by elliedeee; 03-28-2016 at 08:13 AM..
No you weren't you mocked him directly and lectured him.
sometimes people need to hear the truth from an unbiased source. And yes, I did want to say that, among other things.
A 40 year old shouldn't have to answer to his parents regarding a home purchase. However, if the op will eventually need to care for his aging parents, it might be wise to choose a location closer to them.
They may be trying to guilt him into it, but it might work out better for him anyway. I do understand that buying a home can be stressful, but I don't think all this strife with the parents over a location is normal.
I am basically having a nervous breakdown with this. Please help with what I should do????
Find a more important obsession. Jeez, what's next, a nervous breakdown that you can't locate your preferred new car in the color that you want within the next 2 weeks?
Find a more important obsession. Jeez, what's next, a nervous breakdown that you can't locate your preferred new car in the color that you want within the next 2 weeks?
Purchasing a home is the largest purchase most people will make in their lifetime. Hardly the same thing as picking out a new car color.
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sometimes people need to hear the truth from an unbiased source. And yes, I did want to say that, among other things. 
