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Black women are 42% unmarried , yet many want to be married. What will happen to her state of happiness and desire for a mate and children? Do you think that most will live happily and accept their plight and remain kind, confident, and giving although they have no future that involves being married or will they become bitter, depressed, and angry about not being married?
Black women are 42% unmarried , yet many want to be married. What will happen to her state of happiness and desire for a mate and children? Do you think that most will live happily and accept their plight and remain kind, confident, and giving although they have no future that involves being married or will they become bitter, depressed, and angry about not being married?
Maybe this is why so many black women are active in their churches? It may fill a void.
Most older, unmarried black women I know are not bitter, depressed, angry people.
Black women are 42% unmarried , yet many want to be married. What will happen to her state of happiness and desire for a mate and children? Do you think that most will live happily and accept their plight and remain kind, confident, and giving although they have no future that involves being married or will they become bitter, depressed, and angry about not being married?
This is too broad of a statement. We don't know WHY 42% of these women are unmarried. Perhaps they have unrealistic standards. Maybe they should be spending time with the other 52% to see what they did.
I recently saw a segment on a news program about this; it featured a panel of single, black women in their 30s. And, NO, they're not going to become "bitter." These are highly educated and accomplished ladies who said they'd like to marry but they will NEVER, EVER SETTLE. They've got good friends, great careers and lots of hobbies and they said they'd rather remain single than just marry a guy for the sake of being married.
I agree with them. More and more women are feeling that, too. Most of my friends are divorced women who say that nothing short of a prince could get them to marry again and allow someone else to have some degree of control over their lives. Heh, when Madonna was interviewed on Letterman she said she'd rather get hit by a train than marry again.
So, men (and pathetic women) who think that everyone MUST be married to be happy are deluding themselves and, I would guess, trying to drag us down into the mire with them!
Maybe this is why so many black women are active in their churches? It may fill a void.
Most older, unmarried black women I know are not bitter, depressed, angry people.
I am curious to know because this is a new phenomenon for black women at least here in our modern times. By me doing research in the field of human relationships, I am concerned mainly for the future of our black families and how we will teach our black males and females about relationships and should we prepare our daughters for a life that could possibly be one without marriage or children.
I had a close friend tell me that the longer a woman stays single the more she seems to love Jesus. There is some truth serum in the first statement your wrote. I think the church is overwhelmingly dominated by women, so this is one of the reasons why I am de-churched!!
I too know many women who are divorced and will never enter into marriage again. I also know of many black women who want to be married, but have not met anyone suitable for them and they remain happy, but I also know women who are disappointed about their possibilities of not marrying one day or feel very sad because it may not ever happen. They are not bitter, but they do have sad moments.
I recently saw a segment on a news program about this; it featured a panel of single, black women in their 30s. And, NO, they're not going to become "bitter." These are highly educated and accomplished ladies who said they'd like to marry but they will NEVER, EVER SETTLE. They've got good friends, great careers and lots of hobbies and they said they'd rather remain single than just marry a guy for the sake of being married.
I agree with them. More and more women are feeling that, too. Most of my friends are divorced women who say that nothing short of a prince could get them to marry again and allow someone else to have some degree of control over their lives. Heh, when Madonna was interviewed on Letterman she said she'd rather get hit by a train than marry again.
So, men (and pathetic women) who think that everyone MUST be married to be happy are deluding themselves and, I would guess, trying to drag us down into the mire with them!
Why does a woman have to be pathetic if she believes her happiness will be complete once she is married. Do we not raise our daughters with these teachings or are we doing something differently. We can teach them about careers, academics, but I believe that many of us speak to marriages and families one day. Should we do something differently. Do we not as mothers look forward to grandchildren, meaning grandchildren brought forth by marriage usually-of course knowing she can be a single parent without a husband/life-long mate and still be successful raising her child/children alone.
Location: An overgrown 350K person suburb of Saint Paul
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They're probably just hiding the fact that they alienated every man that's out there that they would date. The sad part is, they're probably artificially reducing the selection of their partners. Few of these black women would consider dating white or East Asian men because they don't want to have "confused" children. I personally know because I grew up hearing their ideas on outbreeding.
The dirty little secret in the black community is that many success minded black men don't like dating black women but they don't want to admit it. The reason why is because current mainstream African-American culture is the antithesis to what success is. Mainstream African-American culture is highly anti-intellectual, strives towards mediocrity and depends more on style vs actual substance. Sure, you may find a few black CEOs in some corporations, but chances are, they haven't the foggiest how business works. In fact, growing up and going to elementary and high school, I never figured out why people were given jobs. Jobs were just jobs and we were taught to try to "talk a good game" during an interview and hope you can attract an employer. In reality, most smart employers can see through the BS and won't hire you.
You will find that many success minded black men think black culture stresses style over substance. Style over substance may work in the ghetto and in African-American communities but it doesn't work in the real world. Something interesting you would find too that before many of these quota programs, you saw many TRULY smart African Americans that were sometimes more competent than their bosses. They were held back because they were black and people back then didn't think people of color were that talented. Those quota systems that were made to let those truly smart blacks succeed are now being manipulated and now a generation of black kids now have an entitlement mentality. Many of them think they can just slide by in school and make it big. And the sad part is, their idea of "making it big" are mundane jobs. (Dentist, medical doctor, preacher, barber salesman) and never any of the real big money jobs where you're actually creating, repairing or conceptualizing a good or where you have a high level skillset (Engineering, robotics, web development). I'm not being racist, I'm being a realist. I live with this BS every day. In fact, I had to fight through that same thinking whenever I went to get any kind of job. I haven't gotten steady, unskilled employment because I have a learning disability, but I got farther than other people with my learning disability because of my same attitude pertaining to employment. I know I'm there to sell my labor to a manufacturer or a retailer and nothing else. I'm not there to have fun, I'm not there to win friends, I'm not there to form a "family", I'm there to punch in the clock, practice an art or skill, and then punch the clock out. There are night clubs and social groups, message boards, et al that are out there that suffice for making friends. You don't find that mentality much in African-American communities. In fact, at all the jobs I've had, you would find the African-American women (And sometimes men) just sitting in a corner and talking when they're suppoded to work. The ones that stuck to their job and worked were chided as being "too white".
I have another personal story about the extent of this culture. I got into a fight on the bus with a black male and a black female, which I won. I have a first degree black belt in South Korean style taekwondo and a green belt in North Korean style taekwon-do, so naturally, the fight was easy for me. when I asked some kids with a really loud MP3 player to turn down their music. They thought it was "their right" to play loud music, just because the bus serviced the inner city. They quickly found out otherwise when they attacked my girlfriend while giving her the endering name of "White girl" (Hate crime anybody?). The woman also had the gaul to flag down the police and try to press *charges* on me for "attacking a female". The officer then told the angry, loud, and obviously mentally disturbed woman rightly to shut the hell up or else he'll arrest her on the spot for disorderly conduct and inciting a riot. And the funny part was, I was on probation when that happened and I told the police that I'm a trained martial artist and I didn't even see one jiffy in the backseat of that car .
The boyfriend told me if he ever saw me in that neighborhood again, he'd kick my ass. I live in that neighborhood. I travel there all the time on the way to Taekwondo class so I know I've seen him on that same bus before, so I know he's pretty much full of style and no substance. I also saw his girlfriend on the bus a few weeks later (Minus the boyfriend). She didn't look too thrilled to see me on her way back from her job at KFC (I'm not kidding either, she really worked at KFC!).
Anyway, I don't want this to get into a martial arts skill circle jerk so I'll move on to my other topic.
You'll notice also that many black immigrants from other countries are married to white Americans. Blacks from other countries think of African American women are radioactive, to say it kindly, (including my black immigrant mother), just for those same reasons I mentioned above. I'm sorry if it seems "racist", but the facts are the facts. Black American culture is stuck in an ADD riddled, sociopathic, me first attitude and those of us who hate it are running away from the sinking ship. That's why you see many of the well to do black men with white wives. They simply want to get away from that culture and that line of thought.
^^^^^Maybe one day you'll get beyond your navel and start gazing out at the larger world. What you wrote applies only to you and the few people you know. It's far from "the facts".
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