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Has anyone else had a friend like this? It seems like many of my boyfriend's friends detest the fact that we're in a happy relationship. They frequently make comments on facebook (ugh I know, the root of all evil! lol) about how people in relationships are sad and dependent on each other, blah blah blah. From my end it almost seems like they're just sad that they're alone. Oh and the one person who does this the most often is the 21-year old who is living in my boyfriend's parents' basement because his own parents wouldn't take him back in. Talk about sad.
Anyway, how do you deal with people like this? What have been your experiences with people who seem almost anti-relationship?
These are just toxic jealous people who can't be happy for others. They are drowning in their own misery and it's not your job to throw them a life preserver. If they could, they'd drag you down with them.
These are just toxic jealous people who can't be happy for others. They are drowning in their own misery and it's not your job to throw them a life preserver. If they could, they'd drag you down with them.
These are just toxic jealous people who can't be happy for others. They are drowning in their own misery and it's not your job to throw them a life preserver. If they could, they'd drag you down with them.
So true. What I do find odd though is that the OP is saying that its dudes who are doing this. Sure guys would rail on one of their buddies who'd rather spend time with his girl than with them, but guys really do understand why. Its just them railing on him for fun.
Now with women on the other hand, its usually really really bad. THEY are usually the biggest culprits of being anti-relationship friends.
They're no different than the members of the Bitter He-Man Woman-Haters Club right here on CD. Just remember, while you're with your boyfriend, they're watching Jenna Jameson on the computer and complaining on boards like C-D about not being able to get dates.
I do think your boyfriend should delete their comments and tell them to quit ragging, though--unless, of course, you two are the kind who post "I wuv you, wittle bunny-boo" comments and status updates all day. Then you belong on [URL="http://stfumarrieds.tumblr.com/"]SU Marrieds[/URL].
However, to be fair, women can be anti-relationship, too. My friends are not this way--despite divorces and running into jerks, they still appreciate when a chica has a good man--but I have some relatives who seem to take joy in trying to create strife where there is none. For instance, when I was in the hospital and my guy was out injured and (long story short) disability rules prohibited him from leaving his house until 5:00 pm to come and visit, one of them was all, "I never heard of that. If he's a good boyfriend he'd be there." Meanwhile, she couldn't be arsed to visit for two days, until after I was cut open. She didn't go to the ER or come down to advocate for me with the doctors when I was alternating between excruciating pain and being in la-la land with meds.
But he was, and he was there the minute he could be. She was home watching TV. Her reasoning was this: "No one was there when I went through health issues." Uh, yeah. We were all out of state when she had problems, and she still had plenty of friends with her. She just didn't have a man at her side when it happened, so of course because she didn't have one there for her, she's going to find fault with everyone else's.
And don't get me started on another one. Hated men, absolutely hated them--until one banged her right. Suddenly, now that she was getting her pipes cleaned on a regular basis, men were great. She ended up marrying the guy. Go figure.
And that's really all it is. The minute these people get laid consistently and with talent, they'll shut up. It never fails.
Last edited by Yzette; 07-08-2010 at 09:20 AM..
Reason: I can haz grammar?
good post. bek they have seen the damage done in relationships. they want to protect you. love is blind
bek your handsome prince charming -who can do no wrong-- looks like this to your best friends and family.
good post. bek they have seen the damage done in relationships. they want to protect you. love is blind
bek your handsome prince charming -who can do no wrong-- looks like this to your best friends and family.
LOL!
If one's friends and family are flawless in their devotion for their own, then they can talk--not when they, themselves, can't be bothered to do what they want someone else to do.
And besides, barring abuse, addiction, or something equally world-rocking, being critical of someone's SO or relationship usually just pushes the two of them closer together. I haven't always liked my friends' and family's SOs, but I figure my friends and family are smart enough that if the person is just a plain ol' jerk, they'll get rid of him or her sooner or later.
Tangent: One year, my parents gave all of our then hubs and SOs sweaters for Christmas. Within six months there were break-ups and divorces. From that point on, we always knew when my parents thought we could do better than the current choice. They just gave him a sweater for Christmas and hoped it would "fit."
I read a line in a book once that said, "when you're single, the worst thing that can possibly happen to you is that your best friend forms a functional relationship with another person."
Of course, nothing gives anyone the right to be a dick about it, but while you want the best for your friend, there's also the little selfish voice that sometimes wants things to be back the way they were before.
If one's friends and family are flawless in their devotion for their own, then they can talk--not when they, themselves, can't be bothered to do what they want someone else to do.
And besides, barring abuse, addiction, or something equally world-rocking, being critical of someone's SO or relationship usually just pushes the two of them closer together. I haven't always liked my friends' and family's SOs, but I figure my friends and family are smart enough that if the person is just a plain ol' jerk, they'll get rid of him or her sooner or later.
Tangent: One year, my parents gave all of our then hubs and SOs sweaters for Christmas. Within six months there were break-ups and divorces. From that point on, we always knew when my parents thought we could do better than the current choice. They just gave him a sweater for Christmas and hoped it would "fit."
old chinese proverb, he who spits on his family, spits in the wind.
Has anyone else had a friend like this? It seems like many of my boyfriend's friends detest the fact that we're in a happy relationship. They frequently make comments on facebook (ugh I know, the root of all evil! lol) about how people in relationships are sad and dependent on each other, blah blah blah. From my end it almost seems like they're just sad that they're alone. Oh and the one person who does this the most often is the 21-year old who is living in my boyfriend's parents' basement because his own parents wouldn't take him back in. Talk about sad.
Anyway, how do you deal with people like this? What have been your experiences with people who seem almost anti-relationship?
First of all...I think is so beyond funny that ANYONE posting thoughts on facebook is complaining about social dependency. LOL....Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!
I ignored it because the people who say that stuff seem to be chronically single and bitter about it. As those people aged a lot more negative traits about them seemed to surface too in time.That being so, as friends, we just grew our separate ways into casual hellos. They are all still chronically single upon updates and don't get why how they act keeps them there.(slacker, a-hole,stereo typical pothead, dressing skanky, cheating history that repeats etc)
If they ever did anything to try to start drama we both confronted the person.
IE: We were at a party and this one "gossip guy" tried to make a big deal about him talking to a girl. So I go over and watch them (BF did not see me) and it was totally appropriate convo and body language. Turned out that she was standing there holding her boyfriend's drink because he went to pee. LOL! Her BF and my BF knew each other in highschool long ago.
This "guy gossip friend" was always trying to get a little too close to me and making obscene sexual jokes that sometimes seemed a little too....like he was speaking from a different place than humor alone.
That night in particular the "gossip guy" friend was really drunk and we confronted him about stirring drama and the BF said he did not want to hear him making any sexual jokes anymore either. Which I was surprised because he is so laid back. Maybe his dude sense was seeing what I was wondering. Long story short...we both don't talk to him anymore. All our current friends are in relatively drama free relationships now or single and cool with it. The old "not-so-much-friends" are still well...themselves.
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