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I guess I'll have to step up and do it myself, b/c I've been wanting to ask this for a while.
With every other topic being covered on relations I have yet to see any topics covering intimate [on an emotional level] same-sex friendships. You know the ones that are [in few cases] very borderline romantic. The kind where affection is not as restricted [of course there isnt any kissing, unless it's two females], and where you can connect on a deeper level w/o compromising your gender [or heterosexuality]. I find that it's acceptable for women to have a friendship such as this but it's not common for guys [unless they want to be seen as gay]. In other countries, it is okayed(In some european countries men kiss on the cheek as a way to greet, I'm personally not comfortable w/ that but w/e), and many countries in which it's okayed, homosexuality is frowned upon. Any guess as to why that is?? Is it a double standard, is it that the U.S. is somewhat behind?
I will accept both sides, but no "because it's gay" please answers, I want explanations.
Last edited by pandorafan5687; 07-12-2010 at 08:56 PM..
I have a same sex FRIENDSHIP with a guy I met in Egypt who hooked me up with his sister. I asked for directions while going from Cairo to Alexandria and he told me what train to take and what not. Then, he offered to take me all the way to my station. When we got there, I offered to treat him something to eat. Talked a bit more and exchanged emails. We've been in touch since. It's just friendship, that's it. No hints no nothing, just friendship.
I wouldn't say that the U.S. is "behind" because, as you mention, homosexuality is often frowned upon in those other countries.
Perhaps the fact that homosexuality has become so open in the U.S. has forced American men into a narrower set of behaviors. In other words, they have to appear all-hetero if they are, in order to extinguish any doubt. And I guess that precludes them from being affectionate with one another.
I wouldn't say that the U.S. is "behind" because, as you mention, homosexuality is often frowned upon in those other countries.
Perhaps the fact that homosexuality has become so open in the U.S. has forced American men into a narrower set of behaviors. In other words, they have to appear all-hetero if they are, in order to extinguish any doubt. And I guess that precludes them from being affectionate with one another.
Interesting question.
I guess so,but I just found it interesting that in countries where that IS accepted, those same countries are often strongly opposed to homosexuality.
As a person who moved from Europe to the US about 5 years ago, I feel that America is about 10 years behind when it comes to the view of homosexuality. In general. That being said, all countries in Europe are of course not the same, just like how different places in the US have evolved to a different state on the topic.
I'd say european men can talk about emotions a lot better than american men - I mean the man to man talk. Again... perhaps just my experience...
As far as kissing on the cheek as a form of greeting, it's a completely non-sexual thing. It is not even necessarily a sign of affection. It's like shaking someones hand.
Where I used to live, it was common to hug friends when greeting/leaving (man/man, man/women and women/women). Strangers got the handshake . Kissing is more typical in the eastern/mediterranean regions of Europe.
I guess I'll have to step up and do it myself, b/c I've been wanting to ask this for a while.
With every other topic being covered on relations I have yet to see any topics covering intimate [on an emotional level] same-sex friendships. You know the ones that are [in few cases] very borderline romantic. The kind where affection is not as restricted [of course there isnt any kissing, unless it's two females], and where you can connect on a deeper level w/o compromising your gender [or heterosexuality]. I find that it's acceptable for women to have a friendship such as this but it's not common for guys [unless they want to be seen as gay]. In other countries, it is okayed(In some european countries men kiss on the cheek as a way to greet, I'm personally not comfortable w/ that but w/e), and many countries in which it's okayed, homosexuality is frowned upon. Any guess as to why that is?? Is it a double standard, is it that the U.S. is somewhat behind?
I will accept both sides, but no "because it's gay" please answers, I want explanations.
You don't think that American men have 'intimate' friendships? Am I missing something?
Most of my guy friends have quite intimate friendships with their other guys friends..... nothing wrong with that!
How sweet.
I see nothing wrong with close friendships like that. I have hugged and kissed my friend's cheek as we say farewell on a long trip (going to college to another country as I did, a relative moving to another city or country, etc.), told each other "Love ya man! You keep in touch", etc. I don't see my masculinity threatened in any way.
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. Kissing is more typical in the eastern/mediterranean regions of Europe.
