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I am just going for coffee and dinners etc, no one gets a kiss goodnight or anything, but it feels weird...
Like I know it is just a date, and guys date around and think it is all great and fun etc, but I feel like some betrayer or something....
Like I don't want to lead anyone on, or get anyones hopes up, but guys sufe can make you feel guilty....
They really act like they like you soooo much, and then you feel like a turd for going on a date with someone else the next day, even though you are not with anyone yet, and are being "just friends" with everybody.
they are probly dating around too, and I don't care that they do it, but man, the guilt feeling.
I know this is what people do these days, but I am not luvin it....
First off, you haven't been burned enough times obviously for that guilt to reside. Second, if it doesn't feel right dating more than one guy at a time, then just go out with one guy at a time. Set up one date with one guy. If you don't like him after date one, then set up another date with another guy.....take it one guy at a time. That way your guilty feelings for going on so many frequent dates with different people won't confuse your feelings for the person you go on a date with.
Women have it easy in the online dating world. You can take a deep breath between dates, it's ok. If you just set up dates as fast as you can take them you'll go insane, and you'll end up like what I call "Serial Daters".
These Serial Daters are women who have just been on so many dates the excitement and feeling of a first date is worn out of them, and it's no longer an experience as much as it is a chore or a formal interview for them. They lose their personality, their sense of who they are, and they're much more focused on the other person meeting whatever list or criteria they've developed over the course of so many dates that no one will ever make the cut. They end up doomed to live the life of those sex and the city girls they adore so much but in reality the odds are they will be alone for most of their lives because they won't meet a man that's good enough.
Don't allow yourself to become one of these women, I truly feel sorry for them when I meet them. It's sad.
I am just going for coffee and dinners etc, no one gets a kiss goodnight or anything, but it feels weird...
Like I know it is just a date, and guys date around and think it is all great and fun etc, but I feel like some betrayer or something....
Like I don't want to lead anyone on, or get anyones hopes up, but guys sufe can make you feel guilty....
They really act like they like you soooo much, and then you feel like a turd for going on a date with someone else the next day, even though you are not with anyone yet, and are being "just friends" with everybody.
they are probly dating around too, and I don't care that they do it, but man, the guilt feeling.
I know this is what people do these days, but I am not luvin it....
First of all, don't feel like you are betraying anyone. As a single woman, it is your right to date as many people as you'd like. You aren't in a relationship or exclusive with anyone @ this point so don't feel like you have to be "faithful" to anyone...keep your options open. If you date one person but you aren't with him but are still in the "going-on-dates" phase, you might be missing out on someone else...and I am pretty sure most of the men you are dating are dating others as well. It's sort of the unspoken rule of dating. (Of course you want to make him think HE is the only one you are dating...and hopefully he is treating you that way as well)...but people who date alot, generally do not date just one person. And there is nothing wrong with that. Also...as bad as this may sound...the more people you date, the more of a basis of comparison you have. "Well this guy did this...but this guy did this...or has this...and I really like how this guy made me feel over this one"...having more options allows you to decide what qualities you value and what you don't. It gives you a chance to really get to know what is out there. (I have a friend who has dated her boyfriend for 9 years and now they are married. She keeps saying he is so right for her, but how does she know if she really has no one else to compare him to?).
Secondly, you mentioned no one gets a kiss goodnight or anything...there is nothing wrong with if you like someone, making a move. I am a female as well and I have no problem making the first move. If I like someone, I will show him or tell him...and that distinguishes the "friends" from someone who could possibly be more.
The thing with dating that I dislike (I am recently taken...for a month now...but I have been single and in the dating world for a long time prior to this...and I am in my late 20's) is that I feel there is so much of a protocol with it. Guy takes girl out, guy asks girl series of questions almost like an interview, girl asks guy series of questions, girl offers to pay, guy rejects her offer and pays, guy and girl say goodbye and say they will be in touch soon. If guy doesn't like girl he just doesn't contact her again. I wish there was more honesty in dating. I would have loved to have not been led on and have a guy just come out point blank and be like "sorry but you aren't for me." More often than not, it's not that he thinks you're a bad person, it's just that he may feel you aren't right for him...but I am so tired of guys trying to pretend they are interested or pulling the whole disappearing act.
You can first start by getting off of your high horse.
..........don't flatter yourself.
This sounds like straight ego trippin'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by misswee
It is kinda hard NOT to in Vancouver... you just smile, or ask someone directions, or pretty much stand around and someone is asking you to do something.
That is another part I hate about being single, feeling so guilty turning people DOWN.....
Ever since I got rid of my roommate, the one who jumped all over all of the guys, now I am solo and it is weird.
I guess knowing everyone since kindergarden, then being in the city now, I have to learn how to politly reject people, I hate hurting peoples feelings though, it plain sucks.
I wish I had a boy friend so I could use use that as an excuse.
Every time I say no, I feel bad, and I mostly haven't wanted a second date yet, so feel terrible every time I say "no thanks"...
You can first start by getting off of your high horse.
..........don't flatter yourself.
This sounds like straight ego trippin'.
Damn let me know how you truly feel. Haha.
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