Census Results: 43% of Americans over 18 are single

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by Redisca

In fact, researchers now think that this is the reason why couples that cohabit before marriage statistically are more likely to divorce -- not because the act of "living in sin" degrades the subsequent marriage, but because cohabiting couples tend to "slide into marriage" (as one of the scientists quoted in the article put it) through simple inertia and complacency.

I want to highlight a distinction in the link, in that it's not cohabitation per se, but level of commitment. Engaged couples who cohabit don't fall into the risky sample set, if I'm reading correctly, which is interesting.

But alas, those kinds of crises and upheavals generally don't happen until after marriage anyway -- which is why, as loath as most people are to acknowledge it, sheer luck is an important factor in marital happiness.

Excellent point.

[revelated]

Originally Posted by Ozgal

on what basis do you say this?

See Tiger Woods (extreme example) or any other situation where a married couple divorces. Almost every time the female is going to take him to the cleaners. Men don't want what they earned going to someone they divorced. They can share the wealth while married because they're entitled to it, but if they divorce, it should be each taking what they earned only. Most smart females understand that they really have little to lose going into a relationship, and I'm not counting happiness. I'm talking tangible assets only. I know some big-names would disagree, but the scary fact is that while money may not be your incentive for marrying, it can easily become the catalyst for divorce.

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

The fear is based on the idea that if you wait too long, you'll miss out. A lot of women tell themselves if they don't marry by 30, the only men that'll be left are the ones no one would want to marry. These same women tell themselves that they need to have kids by a certain age or they'll miss their window of opportunity. When you put this kind of pressure on yourself to find a husband, is it any wonder you marry the wrong person and find yourself divorced years later? The good news is that more and more women are realizing they don't have to live their lives according to someone else's timetable. These women are realizing that it's better to be in your 30s never having been married than to have married the wrong person in your 20s and now have a divorce on your resume and possibly kids to share custody over. And given how slow people are to mature nowadays, I firmly believe it's good to wait til you're in your 30s before marrying. Almost everyone I know who married in their 20s is now divorced, probably because they were too anxious to get married before turning 30.

And this is why it's confusing to me. I know of two specific cases where they basically got married right out of high school only to end up divorced later. To me it's a lot less appealing to see a girl in her 20's already having been married and divorced than to see one who's never been married and just biding her time until she knows she's ready.

[2mares]

See Tiger Woods (extreme example) or any other situation where a married couple divorces. Almost every time the female is going to take him to the cleaners. Men don't want what they earned going to someone they divorced. They can share the wealth while married because they're entitled to it, but if they divorce, it should be each taking what they earned only. Most smart females understand that they really have little to lose going into a relationship, and I'm not counting happiness. I'm talking tangible assets only. I know some big-names would disagree, but the scary fact is that while money may not be your incentive for marrying, it can easily become the catalyst for divorce.

Yes you are using an extreme example and assuming all men are wealthy and no women work. Sorry, but Im sick of seeing the rich and famous divorces used as a standard. You must realize this is not reality for the majority of people. There are general guidelines for divorce. Once married everything is marital assests regardless of who paid for it. A smart man will marry someone of comparable earning potential, a smart man will realize he must compensate his spouse for forgoing her career opportunities to produce and raise his children and keep his home especially in the event he is going to shamelessly forsake her trust and marriage vows by having affairs.
Most women come into marriage now with equal assets, most women work, therefore they have just as much to lose in divorce.

[DennyCrane]

I agree with what 2mares said above. You can't use Tiger Woods or some other super rich celebrity as an example of how women have nothing to lose by going into marriage. If you look at the average non-celeb, you'll see that both parties do in fact lose. The big winners are the lawyers. And even if you assume that the woman doesn't lose any assets she brought into the marriage, she could potentially lose other things. For starters, what if she had kids? Sure she may get child support, but she now has to support those kids entirely on her own when they're staying with her. At least in a two-parent household, both parents help each other. If one person's running late and can't pick up the kids from school in time or is busy fixing dinner, the other parent can pick up the kids or help them with their homework. Contrast that with the divorced mom who's probably working and can't ask her ex to go pick up the kids or help them with their homework while she's busy fixing dinner. Second, divorce may not be as stigmatized as it used to be, but it still carries some stigma. I would argue that society has a double standard when applying the label. A divorced woman isn't viewed the same as a divorce man. It's not fair, but that's how it is. So this idea that women have nothing to lose by getting married is just laughable. She could end up paying a pretty big price by divorcing.