Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am a woman and have been dating with this woman for almost 5 months. She is a very kind woman but there are a few things that are strange to me. At first we communicated by text more than now then of course it slowed down. Hardly calls me, she said that she is not a phone person (but she talks to her friends). I see her on the weekends and sometimes on Wednesdays. She already gave me her keys for her place about 2 month ago. When we are together she really shows me that we are a couple but once we are apart she text me once or twice in the morning and I don't hear from her until next morning or there are a few times when she doesn't call. She said she misses me but I didn't hear from her the day before. I worked 5 minutes away from her place and she hardly ever initiated having lunch or call me. One day I was at work and she text me around lunch time that she is in the sofa watching tv and missing me (she works middle shift) and still not asking me to come over or call me so I initiated again to see her for lunch. One time same scenario she texted me again saying missing me so again I asked her to do something about it by having lunch together, she said she is having lunch with her friend who I know also. Also, I was in Europe last week for a week first day she texted me a lot after that I got one text then Friday I don't hear from her and she texted me on Saturday confirming me that she will pick me up and she missed me???
Anyway, I talked to her about what bothers me. She said I shouldn't judge her by phone calls or text, but in my opinion actions speaks louder than words. So I just started a new job and she wanted to know my schedule. I waited until Friday and asked her why she wanted to know my schedule if she doesn't call on my lunch??? She said she needs time to adjust to my schedule?? This texting and calling issue has been going on for a while. I am not needy but I never meet someone who tells me I miss you and hardly get a phone call or a text or not acting on it. I asked her if she can communicate with me more. Now that I asked her what bothers me she is calling me but why do I have to tell this to a 47 years old woman? I initiate to see her at her work which is 40 minutes away, go to her place and suprise her with little gifts or notes. I know she is not cheating I am just wondering if she is interested or playing games.
Maybe she thinks you guys are just really best friends, and doesn't realize your gay?
If I'm way off on that one... then consider this. You don't want to come across sounding too needy or clingy, (that could be one of the primary reasons that she is sending mixed signals, because whether or not she wants to be with you, having a clingy SO is a huge turn off), then try putting down the phone for awhile and going about your business. If she wants to be with you, let her instigate something, rather than being turned down, and worrying about it?
I am not needy, it's been 5 month and I never said anything about this until last month and lately. Actually she is the one who is needy because if I don't give her attention at her place she gets upset.
Why not just lay it all out there and ask her what she is comfortable offering to you? Then you can decide if it's enough.
I don't think you're being needy at all. But I think she is like a broken oven- hot sometimes and cold others. After five months you have every right to find out where you stand with her.
Virgos are notorious for self-indulgence, and holding out all hope for "the next best thing". They are very avert to committing to a relationship wholeheartedly, in case "something better" comes along. At least that's what I read in a relationship zodiac book when brushing up on virgos. They are visually stimulated (which might explain why the phone calls mean so little to her) and they are like a puzzle to figure out what they really want since they themselves rarely are certain of it themselves. Their poor communication skills will have you ripping out your hair in tufts pretty soon.
*disclaimer - I am just repeating stuff I have read and observed - if you're a virgo and the above doesn't describe you, feel free to let me know but please don't rip into me!
In my 20s, I was always asking friends questions like "he seemed to really like me, but why hasn't he called?". Then the book came out "He's Just not that into you" and it answered every question I had ever asked - just with the title.
So that's my take based on what you've said so far, but sometimes people are just going through their own issues. It doesn't mean she doesn't kind of like you - it just means maybe she doesn't like you enough.
Or it could be timing and things she's going through independent of you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
re
