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She gave you the boot three weeks ago. Right now you are fantasizing about payback in order to soothe your ego, but it won't work. Anything you try to pull will be transparent and you will look like a fool - she doesn't want you, nothing you do is going to hurt. Just ask for your books back and move on.
Wanting revenge after such a brief casual relationship where there was no intimacy sends up a huge red flag. She may have been trying to dodge the bullet she saw headed her way.
If this is how you handle casual dating, how are you going to deal with the disappointment of an actual relationship break-up?
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,022,861 times
Reputation: 9418
I'm tied between....
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama
Just show her this post. She will run away screaming and even pay you to get those books back.
this....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne
Call her, tell her you'd like to come by this week to get the books, get the books, and then forget she exists. No calling, no texting, and no emailing. Go to the dinner alone. If she calls you out of the blue beforehand--and something tells me this is the kind of bratty little girl who would suddenly try to get on your good side a week before the date--tell her that you figured she wasn't interested and you've decided to go without her.
Really, don't make this any more difficult than you have to, and don't sink to her level or try to get revenge. Moving on without her is all you need to do.
and books are replaceable and it's a small price to pay compared to the drama of making it look like you're using the books as an excuse to keep calling her. Ask for them back. If you don't get them, I guess replace them. Then stop lending out expensive items like books.
I've been a nice guy to this girl so far, obviously this isn't working, so now how do I act like a jerk in this situation...?
Situation:
I've been casually seeing this girl for the past 2 months (just making out) and she has been avoiding me for the past 3 weeks. I have been asking her if she wants to hang out but she ignores half of my texts and the other half - "out of town for a funeral", "not in town this weekend", etc. Supposedly she was out of town to visit family for Halloween and I just saw Halloween pics of her (not out of town, at a bar I know) with another guy. Interestingly, I don't care about her being with another guy (since it's casual) but I'm more pissed at her lying about it. We are not looking for a serious relationship (she's going back to school next January), but the lying part of it doesn't fly with me, even for friendship.
Normally I would break this off, but I let her borrow some books of mine for school, they cost a lot of money, and I want them back. Also, I have her dream job and in 3 weeks I am supposed to be taking her as my plus-one to my bosses house for a dinner. (My boss is very very successful). Of course she is enthusiastic about this as she thinks she can get the dream job she wants if she plays nice. (She has no job lined up for graduation). However, this is a dinner, not a job interview. She certainly doesn't have the credentials to impress my boss and get the dream job she wants, but she doesn't know that.
So I see four options:
Break it off now via text and ask her for my books back?
Tell her now to stop screwing around, if you don't want to hang out just tell me, don't ignore my texts, if you aren't interested, I don't care - we can still be friends and I can take you to my bosses place, but I won't if I don't trust you.
No contact for 3 weeks, bring her to my bosses house for dinner, show her the great life she could have if she's with me, yadda yadda, and then break it off when we are going back from my bosses house? (The speech would have gone like "this is what you could have had with me, but obviously you are not interested and stringing me along, so I'm cutting this off right now, and there's no way you're getting that gig you want. We don't hire dishonest people.")
Other? (You say what to do)
Incidentally......hmmmm just an afterthought here. You said you'd let her borrow your college books? Isn't fall quarter in session until December? So....you let someone borrow your college books out of the "goodness of your heart", you have a casual relationship/friendship, where you're simply "making out". Correct me if I'm wrong....your "friend" didn't want to hang out with you, in fact, LIED to you about being out of town (no one for you to make out with?), so in the middle of the quarter, you want her to give you back your BOOKS!! ....and it's YOU who feels justified in seeking revenge?! Oh PLEASE.....if you have any kind of decency at all, you'll let her keep those books until the end of the quarter!....either that or forget about it. It's not like you'll likely need those books for anything, anyway, unless you're job really ISN'T going so well and you need to sell the books. I'm sure she'd be thrilled to know that the guy who lent her the books only did so as long as she'd keep being his "casual friend with benefits". Wow, I wonder how your boss would feel about the OP being such an upstanding guy!
Tell her you need your books either go get them or have her give them to you . After the exchange tell her you are done and she will not be coming to the dinner. Very simple.
So you've been seeing this girl for 2 months (8 weeks) - 3 weeks she's been ignoring you = 5 weeks and you are THIS stressed out! Your post reeks of bruised ego. Just nut up and keep it simple dude.......
TEXT: Hey __________, I need the text books back I loaned you ASAP. My schedule is ___________________this week. Let me know where we can meet up.
It's not even worth mentioning the dinner. Move on with life.
So you've been seeing this girl for 2 months (8 weeks) - 3 weeks she's been ignoring you = 5 weeks and you are THIS stressed out! Your post reeks of bruised ego. Just nut up and keep it simple dude.......
TEXT: Hey __________, I need the text books back I loaned you ASAP. My schedule is ___________________this week. Let me know where we can meet up.
It's not even worth mentioning the dinner. Move on with life.
Some people just see things in a "relationship" that aren't actually there . He needs to get real with himself and move on for sure.
Incidentally......hmmmm just an afterthought here. You said you'd let her borrow your college books? Isn't fall quarter in session until December? So....you let someone borrow your college books out of the "goodness of your heart", you have a casual relationship/friendship, where you're simply "making out". Correct me if I'm wrong....your "friend" didn't want to hang out with you, in fact, LIED to you about being out of town (no one for you to make out with?), so in the middle of the quarter, you want her to give you back your BOOKS!! ....and it's YOU who feels justified in seeking revenge?! Oh PLEASE.....if you have any kind of decency at all, you'll let her keep those books until the end of the quarter!....either that or forget about it. It's not like you'll likely need those books for anything, anyway, unless you're job really ISN'T going so well and you need to sell the books. I'm sure she'd be thrilled to know that the guy who lent her the books only did so as long as she'd keep being his "casual friend with benefits". Wow, I wonder how your boss would feel about the OP being such an upstanding guy!
Editing here: Okay, so she's not going back to school til January....so you want to sell your textbooks? .....or are you just being vengeful because you're ticked off?
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Your post reeks of bruised ego. Just nut up and keep it simple dude.......
