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This ties in somewhat with my thread about dating someone with spoiled kids.
Have any of you had experience dating someone with a lot of past abandonment/abuse issues. My current GF along with the issues with the kids suffered a lot of it in her past.
Within a couple weeks of meeting my she told me that both her bio dad and then her adoptive dad had both abandoned her before she was 9 years old. Seems her Mom who is on marriage #4 had a lot of guys in and out of her life growing up. She was left home alone overnight with her younger brother while her mom partied. She said she was only like 10 when this happened.
Her first serious BF drugged and sexually assaulted her. Her next BF physically abused her. When he found out she was pregnant he left her.
Next guy she ended up marrying. Although she said she was scared of him because she thought he was into weird devil worship or something. She still married him and she ended up divorcing him after he cheated on her.
She has never had any kind of therapy that I know of. She suffers from anxiety and used to have panic attacks. She said that all started when she was young.
I'm sure this ties into why she spoils her kids so much and is so attached to them. She told me she wanted kids because she wanted someone to love and to love her.
She does show signs of jealousy quite often.
Have any of you been involved with someone with this kind of past?
How did it work or not work?
She does need professional therapy. Shes just a textbook case of an insecure/clingy attachment type. Here: " Anxious-preoccupied attachment
People who are anxious or preoccupied with attachment tend to agree with the following statements: "I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I sometimes worry that others don't value me as much as I value them." People with this style of attachment seek high levels of intimacy, approval, and responsiveness from their partners. They sometimes value intimacy to such an extent that they become overly dependent on their partners—a condition colloquially termed clinginess. Compared to securely attached people, people who are anxious or preoccupied with attachment tend to have less positive views about themselves. They often doubt their worth as a partner and blame themselves for their partners' lack of responsiveness. People who are anxious or preoccupied with attachment may exhibit high levels of emotional expressiveness, worry, and impulsiveness in their relationships."
She basically craves attention like its water, and will never be satisfied. She fears abandonment and will overreact to what she percieves is a lack of attention. She will be clingy. I don't think your prepared for this, she has to settle her own issues before she can be in a healthy relationship.
You gotta be happy with yourself before you can be happy with another.
This ties in somewhat with my thread about dating someone with spoiled kids.
Have any of you had experience dating someone with a lot of past abandonment/abuse issues. My current GF along with the issues with the kids suffered a lot of it in her past.
Within a couple weeks of meeting my she told me that both her bio dad and then her adoptive dad had both abandoned her before she was 9 years old. Seems her Mom who is on marriage #4 had a lot of guys in and out of her life growing up. She was left home alone overnight with her younger brother while her mom partied. She said she was only like 10 when this happened.
Her first serious BF drugged and sexually assaulted her. Her next BF physically abused her. When he found out she was pregnant he left her.
Next guy she ended up marrying. Although she said she was scared of him because she thought he was into weird devil worship or something. She still married him and she ended up divorcing him after he cheated on her.
She has never had any kind of therapy that I know of. She suffers from anxiety and used to have panic attacks. She said that all started when she was young.
I'm sure this ties into why she spoils her kids so much and is so attached to them. She told me she wanted kids because she wanted someone to love and to love her.
She does show signs of jealousy quite often.
Have any of you been involved with someone with this kind of past?
How did it work or not work?
That is EXACTLY the kind of woman I always avoided when I was dating. If two weeks into meeting her she started talking about being abandoned before she turned 9 years old, I would instantly put her into the "I'll just bang this chick but nothing more" category and NOT in the "Possible Relationship material" category.
Women with emotional/mental issues are not worth dating.
That is EXACTLY the kind of woman I always avoided when I was dating. If two weeks into meeting her she started talking about being abandoned before she turned 9 years old, I would instantly put her into the "I'll just bang this chick but nothing more" category and NOT in the "Possible Relationship material" category.
Women with emotional/mental issues are not worth dating.
You are truly a disgusting human being. Anyone who takes advantage of a vulnerable person with these issues "I'll just bang this chick..." is simply a vulture.
You are truly a disgusting human being. Anyone who takes advantage of a vulnerable person with these issues "I'll just bang this chick..." is simply a vulture.
Who said anything about taking advantage of them? I just said that I would no longer consider her to be relationship material. The fact that we are at least going out means that I find her somewhat attractive and she feels the same about me. We are adults and as such, sexually active, so YES, Id have sex with her but would be up front about never wanting a relationship.
You must have been "abandoned" or you have "issues" that you are dealing with today that result from whatever happened to you as a child.
That is EXACTLY the kind of woman I always avoided when I was dating. If two weeks into meeting her she started talking about being abandoned before she turned 9 years old, I would instantly put her into the "I'll just bang this chick but nothing more" category and NOT in the "Possible Relationship material" category.
Women with emotional/mental issues are not worth dating.
If you think a chick has issues, the quickest way to get her to go crazy on you is to have sex with her. Probably will get you involved with her drama just as much as having a relationship will.
You are truly a disgusting human being. Anyone who takes advantage of a vulnerable person with these issues "I'll just bang this chick..." is simply a vulture.
The world is made of three people. Those who are vultures, the vulture wannabes and the last group. Their prey. You do not want to be eaten be a vulture its a cruel world out there and it won't be changing any time soon.
Quote:
If you think a chick has issues, the quickest way to get her to go crazy on you is to have sex with her. Probably will get you involved with her drama just as much as having a relationship will.
The quickest way of getting her crazy on you is to spend a lot of time with her. Once you have sex with her and avoid her like the plague. She'll get the message and she is used to it. So nothing bad will happen, however for the poor sap who stays after sex......hehehe I would not want to be him.
That is EXACTLY the kind of woman I always avoided when I was dating. If two weeks into meeting her she started talking about being abandoned before she turned 9 years old, I would instantly put her into the "I'll just bang this chick but nothing more" category and NOT in the "Possible Relationship material" category.
Women with emotional/mental issues are not worth dating.
sigh
Compiling a mental list of all emotional/mental issues. <evil grin>
'If you think a chick has issues, the quickest way to get her to go crazy on you is to have sex with her. Probably will get you involved with her drama just as much as having a relationship will.'
'The quickest way of getting her crazy on you is to spend a lot of time with her. Once you have sex with her and avoid her like the plague. She'll get the message and she is used to it. So nothing bad will happen, however for the poor sap who stays after sex......hehehe I would not want to be him.'
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