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We can be home all day and barely a word will be spoke--that is, until a game, fight, or movie comes on that I've been waiting to see. Suddenly, it's house cleaning time and out comes the vacuum...vrrrrooooomm!!! Or, she'll sit down right next to me to start munching on a nice crunchy apple or bowl of chips.
She has no patience when it comes to opening up packages or boxes containing food items, so anytime there is a pie or bag of cookies, bag of carrots, or loaf of bread it looks as though it was opened by a raccoon. I can always tell when she's the one who opened or unpackaged something because it's beyond salvage and can never be closed properly.
Every single time we've watched a movie together at home, she'd tell me to start the movie and then without fail, she'll get up at the very beginning of the movie to do something (not sure what, it's always something random) and miss the first ten minutes. She'll tell me not to pause it and to watch it and not to worry about it. Then, when she sits down, she wants me to explain everything that's happening and get her caught up. Half the time I would just make shyt up and she never knows the difference.
I'm sure I'll think of more later.
Last edited by Coolhand68; 12-07-2010 at 06:29 PM..
Reason: spelling
To get back at him once I asked the waitress if they have a senior citizen's menu.
Hi Max's Mama,
I can help with this.
Ask for the big letter menu with low fiber options.
Ask if the entree` is false teeth safe.
Tell the waitress he is not allowed to flirt unless he is within a 100' of a defibrillator.
My husband is pretty predictable. I know just based on how he's sitting on the couch if he's tired, angry, just watching a movie or horny. His body language always speaks volumes to me and he has patterns of behavior that make him very easy to read.
He also has this cartoonish way of fisting up his right hand and sort-of biting on it while mumbling, grumbling & cursing whenever he gets really pissed off about something (almost like he's trying to stop himself from acting out physically, which he never has).
I know exactly when that fist is going into action before it actually does. Like if the phone rings and caller ID says it's my mom, up goes the fist in mouth & the grumbling or when we're driving and someone cuts us off. I have never, ever seen anyone else do this, but I think it's kind of funny.
We can be home all day and barely a word will be spoke--that is, until a game, fight, or movie comes on that I've been waiting to see. Suddenly, it's house cleaning time and out comes the vacuum...vrrrrooooomm!!! Or, she'll sit down right next to me to start munching on a nice crunchy apple or bowl of chips.
She has no patience when it comes to opening up packages or boxes containing food items, so anytime there is a pie or bag of cookies, bag of carrots, or loaf of bread it looks as though it was opened by a raccoon. I can always tell when she's the one who opened or unpackaged something because it's beyond salvage and can never be closed properly.
Every single time we've watched a movie together at home, she'd tell me to start the movie and then without fail, she'll get up at the very beginning of the movie to do something (not sure what, it's always something random) and miss the first ten minutes. She'll tell me not to pause it and to watch it and not to worry about it. Then, when she sits down, she wants me to explain everything that's happening and get her caught up. Half the time I would just make shyt up and she never knows the difference.
I'm sure I'll think of more later.
Damn Cool, sorry to say, you've got one annoying one on your hands. Sorry, you probably already know it, I shouldn't add fuel to the fire.
Ask for the big letter menu with low fiber options.
Ask if the entree` is false teeth safe.
Tell the waitress he is not allowed to flirt unless he is within a 100' of a defibrillator.
That should give you some options.
Mwah ha ha!!! This is hilarious!!
Waitress, does this have beans? I want to be able to breath at night.
My husband is pretty predictable. I know just based on how he's sitting on the couch if he's tired, angry, just watching a movie or horny. His body language always speaks volumes to me and he has patterns of behavior that make him very easy to read.
He also has this cartoonish way of fisting up his right hand and sort-of biting on it while mumbling, grumbling & cursing whenever he gets really pissed off about something (almost like he's trying to stop himself from acting out physically, which he never has).
I know exactly when that fist is going into action before it actually does. Like if the phone rings and caller ID says it's my mom, up goes the fist in mouth & the grumbling or when we're driving and someone cuts us off. I have never, ever seen anyone else do this, but I think it's kind of funny.
I think it's pretty cool that you are able to predict the negative reactions that are coming up.
I think it's pretty cool that you are able to predict the negative reactions that are coming up.
I probably do know all his hot buttons and he has a somewhat short fuse for certain things. Sometimes, I'm the one pushing them but it's usually when I've had it, which takes a lot.
That's why I think between the two of us, I'm the unpredictable one. I can take a lot and do and am relatively laid back, but at some point I'm going to blow. He just never knows when.
Well, anyone that's been with me for a while would tell you I ALWAYS "scope out" a new place and the people in it. I've been told I get that "searching look" in my eyes and get all serious-looking. If it's a really crowded place, I can be depended upon to act all squirmy - don't like crowds.
I also have a bad habit of adding "That's what she said last night" to almost everyone's sentences.
I scan the place too! High-five!
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