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Old 12-12-2010, 09:03 PM
 
30,897 posts, read 36,958,653 times
Reputation: 34526

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Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91 View Post
This sentence right here sums up why I was into her: We had a lot in common and the more I got to know her, the more I realized she would be perfect for me.
Actually, having a lot in common is not always a good thing. A certain amount of difference can be a good thing. I wouldn't go so far as to say "opposites attract". but it's something along those lines, provided it's not taken to extremes.

You're young and you don't know what to look for. Don't take that as an insult. It took me until I was 35 to start figuring it out. If you want to save yourself a lot of time, frustration, and heartache, see my previous book recommendation.. Is He Mr. Right?

 
Old 12-12-2010, 09:08 PM
 
30,897 posts, read 36,958,653 times
Reputation: 34526
Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91 View Post
I never learned how to ask someone out. And I'm afraid to try it out for the first time. Quite the predicament. Don't know how to ask someone out because I never have. And I've never asked someone out because I don't know how..
This is the crux of the problem right here. You must learn to take risks and deal with (potential) rejection. I know it s*cks. Get some counseling if you must. Do it while you're young!!! Or maybe it's time to do something else to build your confidence. Start working out. Do a sport. Join some kind of group. Attend a church. Start a hobby, preferably one that involves at least a little bit of socializing/cooperating with others, even if just in small groups.

Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91 View Post
Just because I'm into someone and don't tell them, that doesn't make me a stalker.
Not yet, but you are vulnerable to that. It's the shy people who are afraid to ask people out who have stalker tendencies. Ask me how I know

By the way, another good relationship book is The Relationship Cure by John Gottman. It's just just for dating, but all kinds of relationships (familial, frienships). I think you could learn a lot about the very subtle mechanics of how the process of meeting people works and how/why some people manage to click well with others, while others struggle. This is another book I wish I'd known about in high school!!

Life is short. Learn this stuff now and you will: be a lot happier, save yourself a lot of time, and struggle a lot less.

http://www.amazon.com/Relationship-C...2214091&sr=1-1

Last edited by mysticaltyger; 12-12-2010 at 09:22 PM..
 
Old 12-12-2010, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,394 posts, read 15,691,376 times
Reputation: 6262
That's right city_data. If you don't stop being shy you're gonna be the next Ted Bundy!
 
Old 12-12-2010, 09:44 PM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,454 posts, read 13,427,075 times
Reputation: 7783
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
That's right city_data. If you don't stop being shy you're gonna be the next Ted Bundy!
Ted Bundy the show character, I bet he has zero trouble getting laid in real life
 
Old 12-12-2010, 10:26 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,383,485 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
Obviously no one is perfect. I don't think most of us are referring to that someone as being perfect. More like as close to perfection in regard to compatibility.
You never know unless you live with that person. Everything looks good in writing.
 
Old 12-12-2010, 10:28 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,383,485 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
They're not perfect for you if they don't feel the same way about you. So it's kind of a messed up question.
Bingo!!!
They are not perfect if they are not into you, if they are already freaking married, if they are across the country, and million other reasons.
 
Old 12-13-2010, 06:21 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,172 posts, read 20,782,217 times
Reputation: 19869
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
You never know unless you live with that person. Everything looks good in writing.
Speak for yourself.
 
Old 12-13-2010, 07:59 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,383,485 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
Speak for yourself.
I WAS speaking for myself.
 
Old 12-13-2010, 08:41 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,172 posts, read 20,782,217 times
Reputation: 19869
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
I WAS speaking for myself.
If you were speaking for yourself, why the eye rolling when quoting my post?
 
Old 12-13-2010, 09:07 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,383,485 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
If you were speaking for yourself, why the eye rolling when quoting my post?
Just because there was an eye rolling in my post, doesn't mean i was rolling them at you. This is not a private conversation and other people are reading it. But just so you know, I'm rolling them at you right now.
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