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Or maybe it's just me! So I'm single and looking for a man (a good man of course, someone I can see myself with for life or as long as I can put up with them lol) but I find it hard to be interested in a man when they are obviously into me. I may sound like a bad person...who knows! I mean I don't want to play games and it's nice to know when someone is interested, but on a first date when they're giving you that look like they're head over heels already its just a turn off. I guess I want a little more of a hunt?
Is it just me or does anyone feel the same? I suppose I'd like to work a little harder for what I want. Not that I want to have to chase someone forever, but it takes the attraction away when on the first date it's clear that if I want them I can have them (on another date, start dating whatever...I don't mean sleeping with them haha).
I may sound ridiculous but it really takes the excitement of will he call or won't he call and I really enjoy that! I'm sure I'll have some responses that say it's great to have someone give that look and know that they want another date, but it's just not working for me. What do ya'll think?
Guys are the same...but after sex. I know a lot of times guys lose interest in a woman after they have sex with her. It's like, welp mission accomplished and onto the next hunt. Of course, we can not generalize all men but you get the idea.
When somebody is too into you too strongly, too soon then they seem desperate so that's probably a turn off right there. A woman doesn't want a man who is weak, spineless, desperate, etc.
By reading this board, in another thread, I think we have determined a woman wants a man in touch with his "inner warrior" LOL
We don't want what we can have and we do want what we can't. That's pretty much a human trait (failure?).
Same for men and women? Probably. The two genders differ only in their taste in TV shows, didn't you know?
You enjoy playing The Game - nothing wrong with that. Just make sure when the Game is over you have what you really want. Disinterest, whether feigned or genuine, can be a turn-on during the dating phase but a real pain when you decide to get serious.
You're a beautiful woman Ablees8951, so don't be put off that men are attracted to you.One day you'll meet the right guy for you, but from the sounds of your post, I really believe you're enjoying being single and the attention that goes with it.
Or maybe it's just me! So I'm single and looking for a man (a good man of course, someone I can see myself with for life or as long as I can put up with them lol) but I find it hard to be interested in a man when they are obviously into me. I may sound like a bad person...who knows! I mean I don't want to play games and it's nice to know when someone is interested, but on a first date when they're giving you that look like they're head over heels already its just a turn off. I guess I want a little more of a hunt?
Is it just me or does anyone feel the same? I suppose I'd like to work a little harder for what I want. Not that I want to have to chase someone forever, but it takes the attraction away when on the first date it's clear that if I want them I can have them (on another date, start dating whatever...I don't mean sleeping with them haha).
I may sound ridiculous but it really takes the excitement of will he call or won't he call and I really enjoy that! I'm sure I'll have some responses that say it's great to have someone give that look and know that they want another date, but it's just not working for me. What do ya'll think?
I think you're right. You just don't buy it, and why should you? Now if all you want is a roll in the hay, then when they are showing you they want the same you are both on the same page and everyone goes to bed happy. But if you're after a little more than that, and after a date or two a guy is telling you he wants the same as you do, you think you smell a lie and you do. I think that may be why you are turned off.
Or maybe it's just me! So I'm single and looking for a man (a good man of course, someone I can see myself with for life or as long as I can put up with them lol) but I find it hard to be interested in a man when they are obviously into me. I may sound like a bad person...who knows! I mean I don't want to play games and it's nice to know when someone is interested, but on a first date when they're giving you that look like they're head over heels already its just a turn off. I guess I want a little more of a hunt?
Yes, it's a bit weird if someone comes on too strong. This really has no bearing on if he is a good guy or not. Females are turned off by this because it's a sign of low status, even if the guy is a quality individual. Men do not care about status however. If a really high caliber women comes on too strong no guy is going to deny her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ablees8951
Is it just me or does anyone feel the same? I suppose I'd like to work a little harder for what I want. Not that I want to have to chase someone forever, but it takes the attraction away when on the first date it's clear that if I want them I can have them (on another date, start dating whatever...I don't mean sleeping with them haha)
I may sound ridiculous but it really takes the excitement of will he call or won't he call and I really enjoy that! I'm sure I'll have some responses that say it's great to have someone give that look and know that they want another date, but it's just not working for me. What do ya'll think?
Usually guys do not like to play these games as much as females. The guys who do are more likely the type who like to balance multiple women. Again, this goes back to status. In the female mind, harder to get = higher status = better quality guy. Unfortunately what a females perceives as higher status does not have any correlation to quality.
Quote:
Originally Posted by At1WithNature
Guys are the same...but after sex. I know a lot of times guys lose interest in a woman after they have sex with her. It's like, welp mission accomplished and onto the next hunt. Of course, we can not generalize all men but you get the idea.
Probably true to an extent, but it depends on the girl. If the guy views her as a high quality girl then he will keep her around regardless of when he had sex with her.
Or maybe it's just me! So I'm single and looking for a man (a good man of course, someone I can see myself with for life or as long as I can put up with them lol) but I find it hard to be interested in a man when they are obviously into me. I may sound like a bad person...who knows! I mean I don't want to play games and it's nice to know when someone is interested, but on a first date when they're giving you that look like they're head over heels already its just a turn off. I guess I want a little more of a hunt?
Is it just me or does anyone feel the same? I suppose I'd like to work a little harder for what I want. Not that I want to have to chase someone forever, but it takes the attraction away when on the first date it's clear that if I want them I can have them (on another date, start dating whatever...I don't mean sleeping with them haha).
I may sound ridiculous but it really takes the excitement of will he call or won't he call and I really enjoy that! I'm sure I'll have some responses that say it's great to have someone give that look and know that they want another date, but it's just not working for me. What do ya'll think?
I'm curious. Just exactly what are these guys doing that convinces you they are desperate doormats wanting only to be the fabric that cleans your feet? Are they groveling? Drooling out of their mouths? Begging you to run away with them?
Personally, I think women sometimes get the wrong idea with men. On a 1st date, I enjoy getting to know someone, talking and asking questions and really listening to their responses. I think sometimes women take this as "too much" interest on my part and I can sense them backing away. I certainly don't stare at them longingly, make advances or start drooling! I'm just being friendly and that's typically how I treat most people.
Your question also raises the specter of the so-called "bad boy" that has been the subject of so many threads here. "Bad Boys" typically are elusive, domineering and much harder to snare. OP, are you attracted to the bad boy type? Someone you have to chase and can't dominate? It wouldn't be surprising as many young women are attracted to the type. Go out with whoever you want. You're young. Sow your oats while you can.
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