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Well, it seems a long-distance friend of mine of many years, a potential significant other, has lost interest in me after I sent him a picture of me without any makeup on, with my head wrapped up, and in my house robe right before going to bed (lmao), and it was a headshot. He's been slow at initiating communication with me ever since, and hasn't asked for any more pictures. After I sent him the picture he said "wow, beautiful picture, you're very pretty, nice smile, kind eyes, brains and beauty, what a gal" etc. etc., but to me it was the ol' polite way of saying "You're 'pretty'butI'm not attracted to you."
Now for many years, he's been contacting ME almost every single day. He seemed interested still, even when we got into fights and I ignored him for 9 months on end, he still was e-mailing me while I had him blocked. He is even visiting my city site-seeing this summer and had asked me to join him just this past September. So it was odd when after I sent him that current picture of me (he knew what I looked like even before then) I didn't hear anything from him for a week (and this was during the Christmas/New Year holidays, mind you), and when I did, it was only because I sent him a text message asking whether he was alive. I don't like being the one to always initiate communications because I'm not one to go chasing people or feeling like I'm bugging someone, so it's whatever right now. He'll respond to anything I say to him, anything, but I'm just not one to feel like I'm the only one initiating contact.
We were just texting for a little while this evening, but that's just because I responded to an e-mail he sent me a few days ago, and he was responding to my response. He doesn't seem very interested anymore, at all.
Oh well. I do feel dropped though, even though he is just a friend, more of a pen pal really. I had grown so used to his attention for all these years, I guess I'm feeling e-rejected. Maybe it's just me...
Look at the good side of things...maybe he was paroled.
LMAO! That's a good one. But that's not possible. He is a Berkeley man.
But I don't know what it could be other than that picture of a woman with no makeup on in her house robe with kinky hair sticking out the back of a very African styled head wrap. I would send him more normal picture of myself, but I'm not one to seem anxious for him to know that I'm actually attractive. That would make me appear desperate. But, you know I actually just want to make a point to him that I am NOT ugly! I'm surprised that I feel badly because someone thinks I'm unattractive enough to suddenly lose interest.
I actually just want to make a point to him that I am NOT ugly!
Unfortunately you can't un-ring the bell nor can you help what he thinks. FWIW, I looked at your album. I'm surprised that you don't have prospects lined up around the block, 6 deep. His loss. I'm sorry that you've been dented by this guy.
Too many unknown varibles. This may have nothing to do with you. He may be sick, sick family member.
Back in the 70's my first serious girlfriend dropped all contact with me, always washing her hair or cleaning the puppies. We broke up and I had no idea why.
I found out the how and why 20 years later. Her brother was caught playing with his little Elvis in the high school restroom. He was transfered to a different high school, She changed her last name to that of her step dad.
I had always blamed my self, we tend to do that when we do not know what is happening. It is all we can affect.
Well, thank goodness you sent that picture... or else you would never see his true colors. Or maybe he's seeing somebody but doesn't have the guts to tell you. Could be many things.
One guy I was chatting with on a dating site a long time ago was more hesitant to contact me after I sent a certain unflattering, magnified head shot with no makeup and bad lighting. He became very slow to respond. We lived on opposite sides of the USA and I was basically just wasting time so I had no real investment. There was no way we could really meet. But I thought he was just a spineless turd in the way that he would respond very slowly, and half enthusiastically. Finally I got tired of his idiocy and told him that we should cut off contact... to which he seemed extremely relieved... wow... that guy really had no balls or something. It is funny how guys can get turned off with a single photo or single event... LOL! Guess they are very "visual". I think there isn't anything wrong with that but spineless guys are the worst.
I actually just want to make a point to him that I am NOT ugly!
Unfortunately you can't un-ring the bell nor can you help what he thinks. FWIW, I looked at your album. I'm surprised that you don't have prospects lined up around the block, 6 deep. His loss. I'm sorry that you've been dented by this guy.
I think you are very pretty and I would not worry about it. You say that he has seen pics of you before and that it wasn't the first time so I don't know why he's acting so distant. You can never tell with guys or people in general. However, if he is a "friend" then he should still want to talk to you regardless of how you looked in that one pic. Well, I would only hope a true friend would.
I would tend to think you're connecting two events with no relevance. This is a guy who you are not dating, just a pen pal, who lives some distance away. Although he took the time to email you every day, you have no idea what his real life was like. He may be busy with his real life friends or have lots of schoolwork. He may have gotten a girlfriend in real life. There are so many possibilities.
I would get out and meet people in real life. I think it's easy to develop a crush on someone you only know from a distance because your mind can fill in any details you don't know. You don't see him scratch his armpits or smell his farts. You have no idea if you really have chemistry in real life. You could waste a lot of time pining for someone who you have no compatibility with. Keep a pen pal for fun, but get out there and meet real guys!
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Maybe it's just me...
But I thought he was just a spineless turd in the way that he would respond very slowly, and half enthusiastically. Finally I got tired of his idiocy and told him that we should cut off contact... to which he seemed extremely relieved... wow... that guy really had no balls or something. It is funny how guys can get turned off with a single photo or single event... LOL! Guess they are very "visual". I think there isn't anything wrong with that but spineless guys are the worst.
