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I have a personal serious question? Kind of a what would you do or think?
I have been with my (legally married for two years) wife for 14 years. A year and a half ago she had an affair with a married woman and the womans husband ended up leaving her. While my wife left me 5 different times to be with this woman. The last time she came back (Sept 2010) we started marriage counseling. It seemed to work, we where able to talk about problems that we had before the affair happened. While she was having the affair she was never home, didnt help financially, and became the most selfish person I had ever meet.
Everything in my eyes where going great between us. Although I noticed a couple of times that she was very distant. Well this past Thursday while I was holding her phone while she was having practice she received a text message saying "God your so sexy". I asked her who it was from and she said she didnt know. So the P.I. looked on her mobile phone bill and the phone number the text came from was there over and over again. I asked her what was going on, and she just kept saying that I had nothing to worry about. So finally when she told me what was going on. She said that the same girl that she had been having an affair with was calling and texting her. That it was not what I think. The girl kept saying that if she did not talk to her she would kill herself, and alot of the calls where crazy calls about how my wife destroyed her marriage. She said that she didnt tell me because she worried about me leaving her, and how I would react because I can get very angry. We have since changed my wifes number again.
But the new found trust I have found for her is once again gone. And I feel like this person is always going to be there not only because she is a crazy stalker but also because of my wife. There are reasons I think I can trust her, but more of the obvious reasons I think I would be a fool to.
What would you do in this situation?
TGIF, I moved your post to its own thread so that you could receive more answers. Readers tend to respond to the original post or thread title, and your post probably would have been swallowed up by other chat from that thread as time passed. This way, your specific issue will remain the topic of this thread.
I had to create a title for it. Send me a DM if you would like something else.
Have you two gone to therapy to see if you can talk it out with a professional? At this point, until the other women is out of the picture, you are always going to have troubles in your relationship with your wife.
I have a personal serious question? Kind of a what would you do or think?
I have been with my (legally married for two years) wife for 14 years. A year and a half ago she had an affair with a married woman and the womans husband ended up leaving her. While my wife left me 5 different times to be with this woman. The last time she came back (Sept 2010) we started marriage counseling. It seemed to work, we where able to talk about problems that we had before the affair happened. While she was having the affair she was never home, didnt help financially, and became the most selfish person I had ever meet.
Everything in my eyes where going great between us. Although I noticed a couple of times that she was very distant. Well this past Thursday while I was holding her phone while she was having practice she received a text message saying "God your so sexy". I asked her who it was from and she said she didnt know. So the P.I. looked on her mobile phone bill and the phone number the text came from was there over and over again. I asked her what was going on, and she just kept saying that I had nothing to worry about. So finally when she told me what was going on. She said that the same girl that she had been having an affair with was calling and texting her. That it was not what I think. The girl kept saying that if she did not talk to her she would kill herself, and alot of the calls where crazy calls about how my wife destroyed her marriage. She said that she didnt tell me because she worried about me leaving her, and how I would react because I can get very angry. We have since changed my wifes number again.
But the new found trust I have found for her is once again gone. And I feel like this person is always going to be there not only because she is a crazy stalker but also because of my wife. There are reasons I think I can trust her, but more of the obvious reasons I think I would be a fool to.
What would you do in this situation?
Your wife shattered your trust once and you have barely had a chance to rebuild it, so your feelings are completely normal and justified.
I would get your wife back in front on the counselor ASAP and let them help you to ascertain if what your wife is now saying is the truth.
It is completely on your wife to prove to you that she is committed to you and you alone.
She needs to be living a life of complete transparancy and be working hard at showing you why you should trust her now. If she can't or won't do that then you'll know where you stand.
I have a personal serious question? Kind of a what would you do or think?
I have been with my (legally married for two years) wife for 14 years. A year and a half ago she had an affair with a married woman and the womans husband ended up leaving her. While my wife left me 5 different times to be with this woman. The last time she came back (Sept 2010) we started marriage counseling. It seemed to work, we where able to talk about problems that we had before the affair happened. While she was having the affair she was never home, didnt help financially, and became the most selfish person I had ever meet.
Everything in my eyes where going great between us. Although I noticed a couple of times that she was very distant. Well this past Thursday while I was holding her phone while she was having practice she received a text message saying "God your so sexy". I asked her who it was from and she said she didnt know. So the P.I. looked on her mobile phone bill and the phone number the text came from was there over and over again. I asked her what was going on, and she just kept saying that I had nothing to worry about. So finally when she told me what was going on. She said that the same girl that she had been having an affair with was calling and texting her. That it was not what I think. The girl kept saying that if she did not talk to her she would kill herself, and alot of the calls where crazy calls about how my wife destroyed her marriage. She said that she didnt tell me because she worried about me leaving her, and how I would react because I can get very angry. We have since changed my wifes number again.
But the new found trust I have found for her is once again gone. And I feel like this person is always going to be there not only because she is a crazy stalker but also because of my wife. There are reasons I think I can trust her, but more of the obvious reasons I think I would be a fool to.
What would you do in this situation?
Why are you with her?
My boyfriend has a similiar story, but it was a man..not a woman?
His daughters found her emailing another man, she said nothing happened, but later confessed to it, She wanted him to support her and still be married to her and for her to continue to seeing this man..He told her no, Im glad..you have to have some backbone and say you wont put up with this, marriage isnt a game, and you keep letting her play these games..leave her sorry ass..quit hanging onto whats not there
There comes a time when you just have to admit you are beat. Pack up and find a new life. Don't waste any more time on this.
It's not JUST an affair. There's also a question about the W's sexual desires. Male, or female? Is she a lesbian or not? The whole phone thing is ridiculous. And she KNOWS you check the phone. Right? So that means she knew she would get caught. If someone like that was calling me, I wouldn't have to be an MIT graduate to get rid of the phone or change the number.
All this means is that she is getting exactly what she wants. Some folks are excited by drama. Here's the GF who wants her so much she is threatening to kill herself. And on this side is the long suffering H who also can't live without her, paying for PI's to spy out her indiscretions.
Your baby doesn't love you any more
Golden days before they end
Whisper secrets to the wind
Your baby won't be near you any more
Tender nights before they fly
Send falling stars that seem to cry
Your baby doesn't want you any more
It's over
It breaks your heart in two, To know she's been untrue
But oh what will you do? When she says to you
There's someone new We're through We're through
It's over It's over It's over
All the rainbows in the sky
Start to weep, then say goodbye
You won't be seeing rainbows any more
Setting suns before they fall, Echo to you that's all that's all
But you'll see lonely sunsets after all
It's over It's over It's over It's over
==============================================
Seriously, your life will be so so so much better when you ditch this cheating ho. Honestly.
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Move on.
