Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I am currently dating a M 31 who is going through a divorce and has a son. I'm F 21.
I honestly don't have problems with any aspects of our relationship at the moment. However, I am worried about when it comes to being a part of the son's life and dealing with the ex-wife.
Has anyone else gone through similar? Or have advice on how to make the transition to being a part of the "family" as easy as possible?
So I am currently dating a M 31 who is going through a divorce and has a son. I'm F 21.
I honestly don't have problems with any aspects of our relationship at the moment. However, I am worried about when it comes to being a part of the son's life and dealing with the ex-wife.
Has anyone else gone through similar? Or have advice on how to make the transition to being a part of the "family" as easy as possible?
How long have you been dating?
You are awfully young to be considering a role as a stepmom. I would advise you NOT to pursue this.
How old is the child? That makes a difference in how you proceed. A big difference.
A very young child might accept you as a stepparent really easily, you become a surrogate, now they just have one more parent. Fine. An older child...you won't want to try to change the way that they live too much, or step on toes as far as how the kid is parented, and if you try to make new rules or anything they'll resent you. They might anyways. Older kids have had a chance to be used to the life they had pre-divorce and their world has just been shaken up bigtime. It can be rough as they adjust to changes.
So I am currently dating a M 31 who is going through a divorce and has a son. I'm F 21.
I honestly don't have problems with any aspects of our relationship at the moment. However, I am worried about when it comes to being a part of the son's life and dealing with the ex-wife.
Has anyone else gone through similar? Or have advice on how to make the transition to being a part of the "family" as easy as possible?
Generally, OP, I learned in my divorce support group not to try and establish a relationship with anyone for about a year....emotions are topsy-turvey for both parties and each needs time to settle into the life of a single after being married for years.
So don't go into this thinking he might settle down with you....his life is going to be disjointed here and there.
I too would encourage you to choose someone who can be available emotionally for you....instead of someone who is unlikely to do so.
Generally, OP, I learned in my divorce support group not to try and establish a relationship with anyone for about a year....emotions are topsy-turvey for both parties and each needs time to settle into the life of a single after being married for years.
So don't go into this thinking he might settle down with you....his life is going to be disjointed here and there.
I too would encourage you to choose someone who can be available emotionally for you....instead of someone who is unlikely to do so.
^^^ very much this! A person going through a divorce needs time to regroup, heal, think about what's happened and why, reflect about own life and directions etc.
Too me, it looks like this guy dates your for temporary pleasure, to forget what's going on in his life, perhaps to help with household and his kid. He might got accustomed to things his wife did for him, and now he needs to do himself.
Perhaps to brag, or rub his wife nose, that he is divorcing old, and immediately getting young and new. Yup, he is so hot and desirable!
You should find out the (real) circumstances why he is divorcing. Was he a cheater, had problem with substance abuse, anger management, it's broke and can't hold a job...? That's what you are going to face too. And that are the most important things you should consider first.
And yes, his ex WILL be in the picture till their child reach the adult age. She might be nice, or could make your life living hell.
Don't invest your life in possible failure. Date guys your age and no baggage. Go back to school, invest in yourself, and concentrate on giving your life a future and meaning.
Location: In a city within a state where politicians come to get their PHDs in Corruption
2,907 posts, read 2,069,146 times
Reputation: 4478
Quote:
Originally Posted by datingdummy829
So I am currently dating a M 31 who is going through a divorce and has a son. I'm F 21.
I honestly don't have problems with any aspects of our relationship at the moment. However, I am worried about when it comes to being a part of the son's life and dealing with the ex-wife.
Has anyone else gone through similar? Or have advice on how to make the transition to being a part of the "family" as easy as possible?
So a 31 year dude is dating you who's ten years younger while he's going through divorce. He's saying Yahtzee? What about you?
Just continue dating him.. you don’t have to play mommy you’re just the gf.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
