Why is it more common for American men and foreign women to connect than vice-versa? (marrying, relations)
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I think (some) men should be more discriminating when choosing women, and consider the big picture, not just what is presented to them as something which is too good to be true.
I have yet to understand what guys who choose foreign women actually have in common with them outside of superficial things.
I think you made your point a couple of pages ago.
I think (some) men should be more discriminating when choosing women, and consider the big picture, not just what is presented to them as something which is too good to be true.
I have yet to understand what guys who choose foreign women actually have in common with them outside of superficial things.
Really? or are you just threatened that there are hot, sexy, interesting, and smart foreign women dating American men. It happens all the time and in my region American women date "foreign men" just as often.
Americans are all children of parents from different places. Grandpa moved here from Russia, he fell in love with Grandma who moved here from Italy.
Great Grandpa immigrated from Ireland and married a German, THAT IS AMERICA. GET OVER IT!
Almost all of the last several pages of posts were off-topic or personal attacks or overly hostile, or some combination thereof. You may have gotten a message that your post was "orphaned," which means you responded to a post that was deleted, so yours was too.
I'm trying to allow this conversation to continue. It's an inflammatory topic, but it's valid: Why is it more common for American men to marry women from other countries than the other way round? There have been strong opinions on both sides, and I'm letting some of them stand as long as they don't get too rude about it. I'm not here to put tape over your mouths ... go ahead and talk. But watch the personal attacks and the bashing, and if you want to discuss why you can't connect with someone, please start another thread about it. Thank you.
Game on.
Last edited by JustJulia; 03-11-2011 at 09:52 PM..
Reason: typo!
It's not exactly money per se. It's supposedly better life. Also, rumor has it abroad that Americans make good husbands.
I lived abroad and that is not exactly true. Americans are perceived to treat women as equals and to be more wealthy.
My point is, if you are wealthy on your own, or your family is, you just do not become a mail ordered bride. The perceived wealth you can achieve thru marriage is the pull for the woman.
I think this is because women or households mostly conform to the culture of their husbands/partners, etc.
American women have lived with their American male brethren, and are used to American culture. Most would find it hard to revert back from a "liberal" culture, at least in attitudes towards women, to one where women are supposed to only be in specific roles. Many foreign men may not expect their American women to conform to their home culture, but some do, and these stories can frighten off American women.
For example, me and a friend were reading a story where an American woman married an Egyptian guy. After they went to live in Egypt, he restricted her freedoms and his family, especially his mom, were mean to her. I don't know if this actually happened, but stories like this can turn American women off of American women.
I admit, I see cute foreign guys all the time. But I am unsure of persuing (sp?) relationships with them b/c of cultural issues and language barriers. This goes for all types of foreign dudes, not just Arabs, Asians, or Africans. I would probably think twice about getting serious with a Frenchman. I would need time to get to know the culture and adjust to it.
I have yet to understand what guys who choose foreign women actually have in common with them outside of superficial things.
i had a 2 year relationship with someone i met during holidays in USA. despite us being from 2 different countries we shared many things together. I'm well educated, i have a great job, i travelled a lot in asia, africa and south america. i'm 32, i've never been married and i don't have kids. It is false to believe than american men chose foreign women because they can't find someone or because they want a "docile" women! They like the difference of culture, he also learned my language (french) He often told me i'm way more understanding, more classy and respectfull and less shallow than most of the women he already met!
i had a 2 year relationship with someone i met during holidays in USA. despite us being from 2 different countries we shared many things together. I'm well educated, i have a great job, i travelled a lot in asia, africa and south america. i'm 32, i've never been married and i don't have kids. It is false to believe than american men chose foreign women because they can't find someone or because they want a "docile" women! They like the difference of culture, he also learned my language (french) He often told me i'm way more understanding, more classy and respectfull and less shallow than most of the women he already met!
That's great! My husband's cousin married a French man and lived in France for several years. They seem very happy together too.
On this board, however, when you hear men talking about how they'd like a foreign wife, they do not say things like, "I really want to meet a woman who is well traveled," or, "I hope I can find someone who is well educated and has a great job," or, "French women make the best wives." It's one thing to connect on an individual level as you did with your boyfriend, but the men most of us are talking about are seeking a wife at the cultural level. They want wives from the Philippines, Russia, Ukraine, China, Dominican Republic, etc. Almost invariably their comments mention cooking, cleaning, respect, "how to treat a man," modesty, and similar criteria. Nobody says, "I hope I marry a classy Swedish woman with a college degree."
i had a 2 year relationship with someone i met during holidays in USA. despite us being from 2 different countries we shared many things together. I'm well educated, i have a great job, i travelled a lot in asia, africa and south america. i'm 32, i've never been married and i don't have kids. It is false to believe than american men chose foreign women because they can't find someone or because they want a "docile" women! They like the difference of culture, he also learned my language (french) He often told me i'm way more understanding, more classy and respectfull and less shallow than most of the women he already met!
That's it, they are intrigued by the differences. But they don't always take into account the
differences that may affect them negatively until much later.
I think women tend to be a little more careful in that regard as they are more vulnerable. It's possible that women don't date foreign men as much because they seek commonalities as opposed to differences.
That's great! My husband's cousin married a French man and lived in France for several years. They seem very happy together too.
On this board, however, when you hear men talking about how they'd like a foreign wife, they do not say things like, "I really want to meet a woman who is well traveled," or, "I hope I can find someone who is well educated and has a great job," or, "French women make the best wives." It's one thing to connect on an individual level as you did with your boyfriend, but the men most of us are talking about are seeking a wife at the cultural level. They want wives from the Philippines, Russia, Ukraine, China, Dominican Republic, etc. Almost invariably their comments mention cooking, cleaning, respect, "how to treat a man," modesty, and similar criteria. Nobody says, "I hope I marry a classy Swedish woman with a college degree."
In other words they want a submissive woman who can clean and cook. My advise to those men: stay in your new wife's country. The probability of success will exponencially increase if you do. Once you come here your goose is cooked.
Really? or are you just threatened that there are hot, sexy, interesting, and smart foreign women dating American men. It happens all the time and in my region American women date "foreign men" just as often.
Americans are all children of parents from different places. Grandpa moved here from Russia, he fell in love with Grandma who moved here from Italy.
Great Grandpa immigrated from Ireland and married a German, THAT IS AMERICA. GET OVER IT!
I think this is a pretty great post. ^
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I also think everyone here is entitled to their preferences and opinions, because as men and women from all walks of life, we all experience life in entirely different ways. And for the most part, all of our interactions and intimate relationships (good or bad) helped form these opinions, and by lessons learned, or repeated, we find out what works for us as individuals, or what doesn't. (duh)
Dating someone from another country is not a 'hypothetical situation' for me, as it is for some posters here; it is actually a very real part of my day to day life. And as part of the "vice-versa", I am very happy.
Therefor, I believe it is possible to find love anywhere with anyone on this planet, but mostly because sometimes it just happens to find you.
The chemistry between 2 people who have fallen in love is enough to make all those differences obsolete, because it has already created one very huge something common.
Awwwwwww! lol <3
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