Help I feel like an old married man! (girlfriend, women, loyalty) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - City-Data Forum

Kagami46 · 03-20-2011, 01:18 PM

I've been in a relationship for 3 years and I've reached the point where i feel like a 40 year old in a 10 year marriage. I feel bored. Nothing bothers me because I know there's a solution for every problem as long as I take some time to think. I rarely ever fight with my girlfriend and it's never a serious fight. We've done everything we can think of with our extremely limited funds and now my focus is working and paying bills and debt. I rarely splirg on things since I know I'll have to pay a bill soon. I use to be more passionate and excited but now i feel meh all the time. My past gf's were all exciting, radiating sexual energy and a pain in the ass to satisfy. They drove me nuts and I always moved on after I couldnt take it anymore. My current gf doesnt radiate sexual energy but she is beautiful in a clean way (not sure if you get me). She's not sure what she wants and although she has things she likes she rarely has that passionate look in her eyes that nothing can stop her from getting what she wants. Im not sure what I need but I want us to be happy together since I love her more than anything. I want more excitment and less predictablilty. What can I do to get my old passion back?

suedonym · 03-20-2011, 01:21 PM

so... you want someone who is a pain in the rear, impossible to satisfy and never happy?

sounds like you have a good thing and are taking it for granted.

yankeegirl313 · 03-20-2011, 01:30 PM

Roleplay: Go home dressed in a police outfit, and tell her you need to punish her for being such a good girl!

Seriously, talk to her about your concerns. Maybe the two of you could change your boring routine, and do something diffrent. Being married does not have to make you feel like "an old married man."

Do something about it. Communication is the key*

Kagami46 · 03-20-2011, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suedonym

so... you want someone who is a pain in the rear, impossible to satisfy and never happy?

sounds like you have a good thing and are taking it for granted.

Yeah saw this coming. I want the person I'm with. I love her and would never trade her for anyone. But I must admit the previous gfs were more exciting although Ill never want to be with them again. I use to be more passionate about my emotions but it always caused me trouble and got out of hand. These women brought the best and worst in me and put me on a roller coaster ride. Now my life is very predictable. I never knew after finding real happiness my next challange would be overcoming boredom. I'm too rational less likely to take risks now, especially without anymore outside influences.

Neuling · 03-20-2011, 01:32 PM

As you get older, you realize life will not continue to be increasingly exciting forever. Sooner or later you have seen it all and then boredom sets in. Learn to live with it, it will be like that for the rest of your life

Mr. Humble · 03-20-2011, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neuling

As you get older, you realize life will not continue to be increasingly exciting forever. Sooner or later you have seen it all and then boredom sets in. Learn to live with it, it will be like that for the rest of your life

God, that's scary..

Kagami46 · 03-20-2011, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yankeegirl313

Roleplay: Go home dressed in a police outfit, and tell her you need to punish her for being such a good girl!

Seriously, talk to her about your concerns. Maybe the two of you could change your boring routine, and do something diffrent. Being married does not have to make you feel like "an old married man."

Do something about it. Communication is the key*

Finding the energy to role play is a problem. She's not exactly as into her own sexuality as I'm use to. I tried talking to her about it but she just gets insecure and blames herself even though I reassure her that it isn't. She wants to be as passion filled as my previous gfs but she doesn't know how. I told her don't stress it. I love her as is.

Currency Pair Crocodile · 03-20-2011, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yankeegirl313

Roleplay: Go home dressed in a police outfit, and tell her you need to punish her for being such a good girl!

Seriously, talk to her about your concerns. Maybe the two of you could change your boring routine, and do something diffrent. Being married does not have to make you feel like "an old married man."

Do something about it. Communication is the key*

And rent an adult DVD. Sex commandos 3

Kagami46 · 03-20-2011, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Humble

God, that's scary..

Ditto. Your freaking me out. I know this is life that's why I'm not stressed about it. But I want more. I won't except the whole boring phase in life. The choices aren't just exciting and stressed or happy and bored. I want it all and there's no reason why two happy and in love people can't have that.

nuala · 03-20-2011, 01:49 PM

OP, women post here threads that feel as if they are coming from your gf. About what happened to sex, what happened to him, who couldn't keep his hands off her. About how she tried everything, and 2 times a year is good for him. Yet at the same time she knows he tells his friends that she is the best person in the world. (sorry, but your op sounds just like that missing piece coming from the mouth of those bf).

In the end, it's your decision what's more important, - and it comes through that you prefer the "clean-ness" to those sexy but tiring gals. I think that having solid unwavering loyalty and a supporter through thick and thin is more important than having animal sex on the kitchen floor every night... because it can't sustain itself in the first place.