Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I hate to vent but I think I am going to try and just do nothing but focus on me for a little while. I put too much effort into friendships and other relationships and I never get anything back. Most people I know are so lazy, don't know how to communicate, selfish, undecided etc. My family never wants to do anything, girls give me headaches, and like I said-my friends can REALLY suck sometimes. I'm tired of always understanding them and being there when they are down and depressed. I'm tired of my loser friends (didn't finish high school, immature, terrible hygiene and just want to be on drugs all the time) being the only people who call and available for me to hangout. I love them but I've reach my limit hanging out with my "loser friends". It's a ashamed to say but I've used my "loser friends" for only backup when all else fails and its pathetic that I even use them because they are used as it is.
I've been feeling terribly lonely and bored with my social life lately because everyone always has their stupid little cliques and all. So I am just going to hermit myself from everyone for a month or two and only respond to phone calls and text if its an emergency. I'm lonely as it is so I might as well just go into "hermit mode". I'm tired of always reaching out and making plans with people and being the optimistic, "voice of reason" and guru for everyone. I'm tired of always coming up with plans and inviting people out.
I feel like people like to be around me to feel good, and that's GOOD but I'm tired of people always giving me a headache when I ask to hangout. It's a TASK sometimes for me to even ask because I am used to either getting conflicted, undecided responses and people beating around the bush with their answers. I'm tired of answers always being up in the air.
Not to say that I don't have good friends. I have some good, interesting friends but they can just be so incredibly lame at times too.
I'm going to try being antisocial and more introverted for a while. Maybe I can get some stuff done that I need to get done, focus on my crafts and focus on me.
I'm a person that needs human interaction and company to be happy but I am going to just isolate for myself for a while and see how it works.
What do you all think? Has anyone done this before? Has it worked?
Thanks. SOrry for venting, just needed an outlet and it feels pretty good.
I hate to vent but I think I am going to try and just do nothing but focus on me for a little while. I put too much effort into friendships and other relationships and I never get anything back. Most people I know are so lazy, don't know how to communicate, selfish, undecided etc. My family never wants to do anything, girls give me headaches, and like I said-my friends can REALLY suck sometimes. I'm tired of always understanding them and being there when they are down and depressed. I'm tired of my loser friends (didn't finish high school, immature, terrible hygiene and just want to be on drugs all the time) being the only people who call and available for me to hangout. I love them but I've reach my limit hanging out with my "loser friends". It's a ashamed to say but I've used my "loser friends" for only backup when all else fails and its pathetic that I even use them because they are used as it is.
I've been feeling terribly lonely and bored with my social life lately because everyone always has their stupid little cliques and all. So I am just going to hermit myself from everyone for a month or two and only respond to phone calls and text if its an emergency. I'm lonely as it is so I might as well just go into "hermit mode". I'm tired of always reaching out and making plans with people and being the optimistic, "voice of reason" and guru for everyone. I'm tired of always coming up with plans and inviting people out.
I feel like people like to be around me to feel good, and that's GOOD but I'm tired of people always giving me a headache when I ask to hangout. It's a TASK sometimes for me to even ask because I am used to either getting conflicted, undecided responses and people beating around the bush with their answers. I'm tired of answers always being up in the air.
Not to say that I don't have good friends. I have some good, interesting friends but they can just be so incredibly lame at times too.
I'm going to try being antisocial and more introverted for a while. Maybe I can get some stuff done that I need to get done, focus on my crafts and focus on me.
I'm a person that needs human interaction and company to be happy but I am going to just isolate for myself for a while and see how it works.
What do you all think? Has anyone done this before? Has it worked?
Thanks. SOrry for venting, just needed an outlet and it feels pretty good.
<Raises hand>. Yes, I am also "hermitting" (love the word).
I'm long divorced, my only kid is away at college, and I am living by myself for the first time in my life (I am 52). I also cut off certain friends, or, in some cases, just don't see them as often. I got rid of a long-time alcoholic friend who had been sober for seven years and then decided she could drink like a normal person--I've cut off all contact with her, since she now drinks straight vodka upon rising in the morning and is pretty brain-damaged, and I got tired of the revolving-door rehab scene with her. Another friend who I am still in contact with also drinks more than I do, and it's getting to the point of being annoying, plus I'm tired of listening to her **** and moan that the married man she's been "dating" for 7 years isn't doing anything to leave his wife. So, I just get together with her once a month or so. Another friend still has an 8-year-old and I have nothing in common with her at this time, as she's all into school events and Cub Scouts and I'm done with all that.
For the first six months or so, I isolated myself most of the time--did things around my condo, read books, watched movies that I always wanted to watch but never saw. Since I like to write, I found a writer's group recently that meets once a month--that's nice, there are intelligent people to talk to, but it's not something I have to be committed to. Sometimes if I feel the need to be around people, I go to the library, where there are people around me but I don't have to talk to them or interact with them. I've also found the county parks in my area and have started exploring them on my own. I plan to do more of that now that the weather is getting nicer again. Also, I've noticed that there are small theatre groups putting on shows and similar activities in my area that are not expensive, and I plan to start attending some things like that if they interest me. I will go alone.
This is not for everyone, but I found a small church to attend where the people are friendly enough but I don't feel pushed to have to commit myself to joining 100 suborganizations, and I go there some Sundays when I feel like it.
I won't lie--loneliness raises its head sometimes, but when I feel it coming on I try to put any self-pity into check and find something to occupy myself. I just got to a point in life where I did not feel like wasting my time with people that just annoyed me, and everyone seemed to be annoying.
<Raises hand>. Yes, I am also "hermitting" (love the word).
I'm long divorced, my only kid is away at college, and I am living by myself for the first time in my life (I am 52). I also cut off certain friends, or, in some cases, just don't see them as often. I got rid of a long-time alcoholic friend who had been sober for seven years and then decided she could drink like a normal person--I've cut off all contact with her, since she now drinks straight vodka upon rising in the morning and is pretty brain-damaged, and I got tired of the revolving-door rehab scene with her. Another friend who I am still in contact with also drinks more than I do, and it's getting to the point of being annoying, plus I'm tired of listening to her **** and moan that the married man she's been "dating" for 7 years isn't doing anything to leave his wife. So, I just get together with her once a month or so. Another friend still has an 8-year-old and I have nothing in common with her at this time, as she's all into school events and Cub Scouts and I'm done with all that.
For the first six months or so, I isolated myself most of the time--did things around my condo, read books, watched movies that I always wanted to watch but never saw. Since I like to write, I found a writer's group recently that meets once a month--that's nice, there are intelligent people to talk to, but it's not something I have to be committed to. Sometimes if I feel the need to be around people, I go to the library, where there are people around me but I don't have to talk to them or interact with them. I've also found the county parks in my area and have started exploring them on my own. I plan to do more of that now that the weather is getting nicer again.
I won't lie--loneliness raises its head sometimes, but when I feel it coming on I try to put any self-pity into check and find something to occupy myself. I just got to a point in life where I did not feel like wasting my time with people that just annoyed me, and everyone seemed to be annoying.
Great post, Queen! I'm the same way. I had loser friends and family that was always bringing me down. The drama and chaos was just too much for me and it was draining my energy. Too much negative energy and I knew that this wasn't living.
So, I chucked them all and only have contact with a handful of good, positive people in my life. Life is way too short to deal with negativity.
So, OP, my suggestion would be to re-focus your life and weed out the people that are bringing you down even if it's family. Either weed them out and don't have anything to do with them or keep them at a distance.
I like that you are hermitting and you can re-group and re-focus on what you were meant to be and do. Think about you and visualize what you want to do and what type of people you want to hang around.
Sounds like you're maturing and those around you aren't.
I have done that, and continue to live like it sometimes.
In the past, I had a number of friends that were in a way, dragging me down with them. I had enough of it, and stopped keeping in touch. Now, I have been without friends for a few years.
I saved a lot of money, did well in school, and kept myself entertained. THings are a bit different. You must rely on yourself for everything. Need to move, or need a ride? No one to help, or no one to go out with. After a period of time living that way, one becomes accustomed to that way of life, and may also negativly affect his/her life.
It's good to get away from society for a bit, but after too long, you will start to feel like an alien. Or maybe that's just how I feel.
[quote=donie1;18454982]Great post, Queen! I'm the same way. I had loser friends and family that was always bringing me down. The drama and chaos was just too much for me and it was draining my energy. Too much negative energy and I knew that this wasn't living.
So, I chucked them all and only have contact with a handful of good, positive people in my life. Life is way too short to deal with negativity.
So, OP, my suggestion would be to re-focus your life and weed out the people that are bringing you down even if it's family. Either weed them out and don't have anything to do with them or keep them at a distance.
I like that you are hermitting and you can re-group and re-focus on what you were meant to be and do. Think about you and visualize what you want to do and what type of people you want to hang around.
Sounds like you're maturing and those around you aren't.[/quote]
That hit the nail on the head, at least with me. Once my daughter was grown, I was looking forward to finding whatever comes next, and it seems as if everyone I knew was sitting in the same place with no plans to move forward. Yet another friend, whose daughter is the same age as mine, is still whining and complaining that the reason life is SO hard for her is because she doesn't have a husband. She's married and divorced three times. She's still waiting for the knight in shining armor to rescue her. The knight's armor rusted and his horse went lame a long time ago.
One of my few friends really put me down all the time. I ask her never to call me again...and the whole clique did the same.
But my days of humping from bar to bar are over and I dont want to hookup with random guys so they think I am cool. It is not cool. I am too old for that.
Alright, we can all hermit together... I got 6 bedrooms over here and only using one of it... I am only 34 but I like being a hermit!! Actually, its probably because of where I live that I am forced into that state... lol!! So pack your bags and get over here... There is plenty of nothing to do over here!! On the serious note, I actually would like to be a hermit... there is something about silence...
Alright, we can all hermit together... I got 6 bedrooms over here and only using one of it... I am only 34 but I like being a hermit!! Actually, its probably because of where I live that I am forced into that state... lol!! So pack your bags and get over here... There is plenty of nothing to do over here!! On the serious note, I actually would like to be a hermit... there is something about silence...
Lol... there are literally half a dozen bed and breakfast in my area!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Or maybe that's just how I feel. 
