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A long time ago at the beginning of the school year, there was this guy who was friendly with me and tried to make friends with me. We talked to each other and gave each other tips/advice/feedback on our schoolwork. Overall, we got along well with each other. There were other friendly guys in the class who tried once or twice to be friendly with me because they knew I was a shy person, but I didn't show much interest in them because I was too shy.
The first guy I mentioned I was more open with just because he was more talkative and liked talking to everybody, even me, and it's rare for a guy to show up in my life and show alor interest in being friends with me of all people. He was loud and outgoing and sociable with everybody. I thought I would just rely on him for a while as a friend before talking to everyone else who was trying to be open with me, just to stay in my comfort zone. After all, we'll all be with each other for a year and a half (that's how long the school program was), so I thought to myself that there's lots of time to do that.
But then something bothered me. Someone who was open with me a few times gave me a look when I was talking to this same outgoing guy from the beginning. It left me wondering what does he think that this guy looks like the only guy I like talking to. Then there was this other guy who was friendly with me a few times (and still was) who I quickly glanced away from after looking at him because I was shy for some reason, and another person who saw that happen started laughing and said something to him, and I was like "What, what did he say?" to the guy I glanced away from, and what he did was point to the guy I was talkative with, and that guy rolls his chair over to me to see what's up.
I was thinking that there were people in the class that thought that maybe I was attracted to this guy (in a gay way) and I didn't want people to think that. So what I did was try to avoid him as much as possible, not talking to him and also not talking to anyone else either because I thought there's still alot of time in the program to talk to people and get to know each other. This guy I was talkative with was loud and outgoing and sociable with everyone, so I don't think people thought he was gay.
I think later on he noticed that I wasn't talking to him (for unknown reasons to him) and just started giving me glances to maybe get me to say something, since now it was always him who had to initiate small-talk. I even gave him dirty looks a few times, which I thought he wouldn't notice or take personally. And when he tried to show me some of the schoolwork he's done, I would just look and not say anything or ask any questions.
Then one day when he noticed I was depressed when we were doing a computer project, he came up to me to try and cheer me up and what I did was scoff him and ignore him because everyone was quiet in the class and he was loud and everyone in the class could hear him and I was worried that they were still thinking I was gay with this guy. (I was depressed at the time because I was wasn't doing so good in my work and I was even thinking about the fact that I had no friends in the school, which were combined reasons for me to look depressed)
I think this last incident I just mentioned along with me not initiating any chat made him realize something's up and that's when there were problems between us. Do you think it was wrong for me to avoid him just because I was worried about other people were thinking I had a bigger thing for him?
A long time ago at the beginning of the school year, there was this guy who was friendly with me and tried to make friends with me. We talked to each other and gave each other tips/advice/feedback on our schoolwork. Overall, we got along well with each other. There were other friendly guys in the class who tried once or twice to be friendly with me because they knew I was a shy person, but I didn't show much interest in them because I was too shy.
I think this last incident I just mentioned along with me not initiating any chat made him realize something's up and that's when there were problems between us. Do you think it was wrong for me to avoid him just because I was worried about other people were thinking I had a bigger thing for him?
Years ago--I could have written the same post. Just don't waste time worrying about what anyone else may be thinking---trust me--it is futile.
You are analyzing yourself and others, too much. For whatever reasons--your personality or upbringing you are too introverted.
If you want to speak to the guy or anyone else on earth--then do it.
It is a risk--some people are not worth the bother--if they reject you--so what? Focus on common interests---speak up--smile, lol--I imagine you have a dry wit--use that. Use whatever you've got.
I was in the band and we had a girl who was an incredible player of the flute/floutist or flutist--doesn't matter. She never bothered much about her appearance and then one day she changed. Met a guy.
Whatever anyone else thought-- I know I didn't care. I was very sensitive to teasing, too. Entirely focused on being 'just like everybody else'--a huge waste of time. Figure out what your 'Thing' is and Do It. That is what everyone else is doing. Much more fun.
it does sound like your being really too self conscious. It doesnt exactly make you an easy person to get to know. Its something of a self fulfilling prophecy
uh yeah, stop worrying about what they think, it's not like you are dating any of them, or are you, I didn't get that far!
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