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i would say that women are very hard to meet today, unlike years ago when it was a lot easier. women back then, were much more outgoing and certainly a lot friendlier than now. i myself, find it very hard to start a conversation with the one that i would like to meet. they will just walk away, and sometimes even curse at me. women are a real low life for acting this way. there must be so very many abused women out there, and are certainly afraid of men now. i have noticed that many of them do have a very bad attitude, and that obviously adds to the problem. where in the world are the good women today? many of them, need to read a book on how to talk too men better. this might make them much more educated, dealing with men better. i do have to say that women years ago had much more class, than now. i have noticed myself that women are certainly into other women now. what the hell is up with that? then again, many of them just cannot seem to make it with a man. what a shame, and such a waste of humanity. cannot blame myself, for what they have become.
Easier for women? There are approx. 8 million more women in the country than men. Women are everywhere. Men are harder to find, especially in our 40's+. Folks in our age range are either still married or just not wanting to do it all again, it seems.
Meeting anyone is damn near impossible these days. It took me soooo many years to meet a great guy. I am like you. I am attracted to about 1% of the male population. Then add to that that I am not looking for casual, then there are fundamental things that must match up...it's amazing anyone finds anyone, anymore.
Not trying to be pessimistic. I just understand is all.
I think from a male perspective, women have listened to Magazines like Cosmo or watched Sex in the City too much which has told them how to act, how to treat men, which has probably pulled them away from their natural tendencies. In my area i feel like too many women have these way too high expectations of men that cant live up to all their necessities until when women mature enough to realize there arent any perfect guys out there
to me meeting women is very hard today because they play hard to get and at my age now it is a lot harder. i am in my mid fifties and i feel bad when i get rejected. i consider myself an average good looking,loving and caring man and when i go to the clubs on the weekends i meet the ones that are very nasty. i see this happening to other men as well. today times have changed a lot and a lot of these women today are lesbians which kind of adds to the problem as well. i just do not want to be alone because even if you have money being alone is no fun and money is not important and it will not cure loneliness. if i rush into a relationship that is not right for me just for the sake of not being alone she might be the wrong person to be with since i made that mistake already. now i am going through my second divorce.both of the times that i was married i was a very good husband at the time that i was married to them.but it was not good enough for them. since i was hurt a lot i have a very bad attitude with women and i should not where are the decent straight women for the good straight men like me today? do you women exist? i would like to hear from you as well.
So yes, we do. I am 43, just met a man not long ago who is 54, we share the same faith and traditional fundamentals. It took me ages to find the right match, but I am a real person, have no desire to run all over the top of a good man, and know the values of the sex differences.
Many women are too liberal to know how to be a good partner/wife.
I'm surprised this question doesn't come up more often. Yes it is very difficult to find someone nowdays. There are several reasons for this. One, is that by and large we are becoming a more selfish society. Today the "it's all about me" attitude is very prevalent. We are all guilty of it to some degree, myself included, but you reach a certain point and becoming too self-absorbed is not good for a relationship. Also, materialism is very strong in our society, people think they need to have the newest iPhone, SUV, designer clothes, you name it so many feel they're entitled to it. This also has an effect on the dating world. Money is a factor in relationships today. If and when things get serious and the idea of moving in together and possibly starting a family comes up, unless one person makes a decent amount of money, then both parties need to be able to hold their financially, but yet come together financially. To the poster that said women don't date out of their league, meaning they don't go down on a financial scale, that is so true. The woman making $100k is NOT going to date the dude hanging drywall for $10 an hour, or even the guy making $50k. To the OP, you said you are fairly picky, there's nothing wrong with having standards, but there's a fine line between having standards and becoming too picky. Maybe you are too picky and eliminating some very good choices. Women DO have it easier in the dating world. That's how it is, it's not gonna change. If a girl is good looking, I don't mean smoking hot, I just mean good looking. At some point in time she gonna get asked for her number or have some give guy him his, that's the way it goes. Obviously the better looking the girl the more this happens. Relationships are alot of work. The more involved you get with someone the more work is involved. Sure when you have those first couple dates you see the best, but as time goes on any couple has it's ups and downs. Relationships are NOT what Hollywood portrays them to be as love, sex, and happy ever after. Unfortuantely, too many people, (especially the younger people), buy into the BS that a relationship is suppossed to be that way. There are people out there that want to remain single. I know someone like this. Many would rather have the independence, and not put the work and go through the peaks and valleys that come with a relationship. This might sound harsh, but today's modern woman does NOT need a man. It's not 1950 anymore. This translates to even more effort on a guy's part. I have had some success with on-line dating sites. Actually, I ended up in 2 serious relationships due to them. One of them lasted two years. I work construction, which is very male dominated to begin with, I'm not into the bar scene nor am I a type A outgoing personality, so for me they're a good way to meet people. Just like in real life though, you have to put effort into selling yourself in an online profile. Keep in mind you're not gonna be attracted to every girl that messages you and nor every girl you message will be into you or even respond. I know this isn't the best explanation, but it's what came to mind
I think from a male perspective, women have listened to Magazines like Cosmo or watched Sex in the City too much which has told them how to act, how to treat men, which has probably pulled them away from their natural tendencies. In my area i feel like too many women have these way too high expectations of men that cant live up to all their necessities until when women mature enough to realize there arent any perfect guys out there
Quote:
Originally Posted by joeclyde
Everybody is extremely vain and shallow nowadays. People seem to expect the world and offer little in return.
I am in my 40's now, but have always found it hard to meet someone after a failed relationship. Is this normal? Sure, there are times that I have met someone in a couple of months but mostly it takes Many months or even years. Granted, I am picky and only attracted to a small percentage of women and there has to be chemistry. Seems like my ex's find someone right away after breakup but not me. I suppose its easier for women to find a match right away.
Is this normal for most? Guys? If you can provide advise on where to meet women my age that would be appreciated. I am not into online dating though.
As your post states, there are always many men waiting too meet women, thus it's easier for her to find new dates/guys.
For guys it's not that hard either depending on how marketable you are.
As for comfort, just know that although it's easier for them to find dates, their chances of finding the right one and your chances of finding the right one aren't all that different. volume doesn't allow one to escape the diversion to the mean.
[quote=wisecrack;18678388]I am in my 40's now, but have always found it hard to meet someone after a failed relationship. Is this normal? Sure, there are times that I have met someone in a couple of months but mostly it takes Many months or even years. Granted, I am picky and only attracted to a small percentage of women and there has to be chemistry. Seems like my ex's find someone right away after breakup but not me. I suppose its easier for women to find a match right away.
[quote]
You sound like my best friend he's only intrested in Asian women & ONLY if they have a certain bulid. While he is a great guy in the looks dept he is lacking some what. Like I've told him you got to expand your choices more or risk being single. Your choice.
I disagree with this-- I don't have the feeling that it's true for the OP and I'm pretty sure that it's not for me. I'm not connecting with the very good looking wealthy men any better than I do with the less fortunately favored--I'm looking for that sense of connection and for someone who "gets" me and I have the feeling that it's what our OP is also looking for, and what most of us are looking for. I have no physical requirements beyond the fact that a man looks good to me and I think most of us would "lower our physical standards" to find just the right person. Nothing wrong with aiming high, but believe me, I'm studying them all.
One thing that makes my head explode is when people tell me about the term "standards". I don't date based on some criteria!!!!
Every time I tell people that I can't find someone there instant reaction is "Maybe you're too picky?" WTF?!
I'm either attracted to them physically and mentally or I am NOT attracted to them physically and mentally.
When I see a woman there are 3 things that come to my mind in one NANOSECOND:
1. Yes
2. No
3. Maybe
So damn pissed off about this! 2#%$^%#$^#^%$
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