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I don't smoke, and after giving it a try out of curiosity a while back, I really can't understand how somebody could do that to their body. I almost died from carbon monoxide poisining when I was young, so to think somebody willingly puts that into their lungs just doesn't make sense to me. Having said that, smoking to me isn't a HUGE dealbreaker...if I liked the guy enough and everything else did it for me, I'll probably overlook the smoking. However, in terms of looking for something long-term, I'd probably have difficulty accepting it, I wouldn't want myself or my future children to be constantly exposed to something that harmful.
Smoking always was/still is a deal breaker for me, since kissing a smoker can be really gross. The relationship I've been in with a smoker, he always tried to chew gum/brush his teeth before kissing me so it wasn't bad but I wouldn't have expected him to do that all the time forever, and he tried to quit but I don't think he really wanted to.
Deal breaker for me. Never dated a smoker and would even have reservations dating a former smoker. Hotness levels and attraction go way down for me when I see or discover that someone smokes or smoked. I can't explain it, but it's just the way it works for me.
Interesting. Current smoker I can see as a deal breaker, but I find something very endearing about former smokers -- to successfully quit smoking requires a strong will power and desire to better oneself, both of which are traits I look for in a S/O.
However, I do see where you're coming from. The chance of relapse is always a concern...I would make it very clear if I was with a former smoker that picking it back up would be a deal breaker, but if it's a long time down the road and you're already in a vested relationship it may be a difficult deal to break. Still, that could just as easily apply to someone who has never smoked before as it could to a former smoker.
Yes, it's a deal-breaker for me. Always has been and always will be. I would date a former smoker. It's so difficult to quit, and such a major issue for me, that I wouldn't expect someone to quit or be able to quit.
The problem with this, I find, is that a former smoker can very easily become a current smoker.
I'm an inveterate nonsmoker. I never set out to have a relationship with a smoker. I have a serious, long-term relationship with a guy who was a former smoker when we met, and who, well after we began building a life together, had the first of an ongoing series of relapses. I have come to realize that this will probably be a lifelong struggle for him. Am I going to throw away a good relationship over it? Nope. Once you've invested in building a life and future with somebody, things you thought were absolutes can at times have a way of shifting.
At least around here (and I would suppose even more in other parts of the country), smoking, especially among people under 30 or 40, is seen as a sign of low class. Let me be clear that I don't find "yuppies" attractive either, but I do not want a lower-class girlfriend who insists on staying in that class.
Personally, there are sooo many deal breakers for people that I'm sure all of these people who wouldn't date smokers, would probably be undesirable to many for a multitude of other reasons. Personally, it's not possible for me to care any less about someone who wouldn't date me because I smoked. Honestly, I think they did me a favor. So while you're ruling people out because they're smokers, remember people are ruling you out because you have kids, are divorced, don't make enough money, you're overweight etc. etc.
Bottom line, to each his/her own. However, should a man I date ever ask me to quit, I would just ask him two things: What is so darn fabulous about you that I should give up? And what are you giving up for me?
Personally, there are sooo many deal breakers for people that I'm sure all of these people who wouldn't date smokers, would probably be undesirable to many for a multitude of other reasons. Personally, it's not possible for me to care any less about someone who wouldn't date me because I smoked. Honestly, I think they did me a favor. So while you're ruling people out because they're smokers, remember people are ruling you out because you have kids, are divorced, don't make enough money, you're overweight etc. etc.
Bottom line, to each his/her own. However, should a man I date ever ask me to quit, I would just ask him two things: What is so darn fabulous about you that I should give up? And what are you giving up for me?
I would not ever ask a lady to quit smoking in order to have a LTR. I just would not ever date her. Nothing required no favors expected or accepted.
Sure, some women would rule me out for many reasons. I am cool with that.
At least around here (and I would suppose even more in other parts of the country), smoking, especially among people under 30 or 40, is seen as a sign of low class. Let me be clear that I don't find "yuppies" attractive either, but I do not want a lower-class girlfriend who insists on staying in that class.
Funny, I attended a private college nor awfully far from where you are, and I would have to say that 2/3 of the people I lived in the dorms with were at least sometime smokers (you notice this when you're not). As a well-regarded, selective, and quite costly liberal arts college in good standing, I'm somehow doubting it was populated entirely by denizen of the lower classes.
I also think a lot of those kids puffing away outside the dorms probably grew up into people who say, "Umm, smoking is so very low class." Even though, despite running marathons and going to yoga class, they still "smoke when they drink." Hah.
I think smoking is just a phase for a lot of people. I don't think it's very class-dependent, necessarily.
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