Curious about stress and feelings for ex

[Slimpee]

Originally Posted by dr74

Directed towards the OP...
I am going to assume that you are in your twenties and this relationship was fostered earlier in your life..

You stated one key thing thats stood out to about your entire thread..."You messed up...it was your fault"

And the reality that your ex was willing to have minimal contact with you until you made the faux pas and asked a friend if she was with someone...?
I need you to believe me when I state I am going about this in a nice and dipolmatic way...

Since you messed up and the relationship was null and void you need to expect for her to move on..and I do not know her but as a woman just because there is a break up and the other party messed up my indifference does not CONSTITUTE that I have moved on and in another relationship...IT was your mistake for asking a mutual friend if she was seeing anyone...an insult to her..

You need to accept and be culpable for the wrong you have done in the relationship and realize that she may no longer want to be a part ofit because she has realized that she deserves better...

Even though you feelyou may have changed she may be done with it and feels that there is too muvh hurt or damage to regress...

I do not think it is an ego "thing" with you..I feel you are feeling the normal pangs of regret..and you have realized what you have lost in her as a partner and by the changes you have made you feel you deserve a second chance...it is easy for you think this..there is a sense of entitlement going on here...Just because you SEE and KNOW the changes you have made and feel the need to make another go of it does not mean she is opn and nor does she own you the second chance..

If I were you I would take a more subtle approach, I would write her a letter stating everything that you feel, the wrong you have done, a heartfelt apology with no expectations...

DR, great words of wisdom...thanks!

I am indeed in my 20s and have basically little dating experience to boot...

It was good to be reminded that I was being selfish in trying to find out if she was seeing anybody. Granted, I asked about three weeks after we stopped communicating but I should have been respecting her space.

Thus, I have not asked anyone directly what she's been up to. I have to try to put aside my feelings and abide by her wishes.

What I mean by ego is that I want to believe that what we had was special. I know that it was and I want to believe that that means something. But you're right, it does appear that she has decided she wants to move forward. I know that's the right thing for both of us (as it gave me time to work on my issues and school) but what I ultimately hope is that the time off will heal some wounds and reveal that those feelings aren't gone but just dormant.

Wishful thinking, perhaps...

[Grandpa Pipes]

There is more than one fish in the sea and it's time for you to 'go fishing'.

[Slimpee]

Just to re-assure myself:

I was right to listen to my gut and work on my issues rather than try to continue to contact her, right?

I was right not to befriend her on FB when I noticed that she had unblocked me, right?

[purehuman]

You just need to leave the woman ALONE!!!!