Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Just to add, I was in China for 7 months last year and went on about 10 or so first dates with local girls I met. Every single time they paid. I attribute it mainly to the fact that I was a foreigner and therefore, sort of a "guest" in their country. They also ordered the dishes (in Mandarin) and acted like the host, so they always insisted on paying, and would not have it any other way.
I have experienced this as well and continue to do so. I lived in Japan and come and go to that country and other Asian countries like China, Thailand, South Corea, etc. I see it as something normal for girls of those cultures to take me out just like I take them out. This is a gesture I see not after months or years of going out (initial/beginning stages) but right from the start.
Quote:
a it was. Not to be misleading, I continued to date some of the girls. When we continued to date, obviously I paid for my share of the meals/drinks/tickets whatever after that, but the first date was always the same and they always wanted to pay
First of all, I hate McDonald's. I'm a total foodie. If someone took me to McDonald's on a date - I'd be very unhappy. This has nothing to do with the price - it's the food. It's not good food. There's this little stand that sells this Japanese food called okonomiyaki down in NYC - and I've been meaning to go there for ages. I fell in love with okonomiyaki when I was in Japan - and although I make it myself sometimes, it's not as good as the one I had in Hiroshima. I'm dying to go to this little stand - but I hear there isn't seating so I need to go on a nice day when I can find a place to eat outside. Now, if a guy took me there on a date - I'd be thrilled! I'm pretty sure it's dirt cheap and we'd probably have to find a bench to sit on - but if the food is good, I wouldn't care! Long winded story - but it was the first place that popped into my mind to prove a point. I don't need to be taken to a five star restaurant - but I do want to go somewhere that has great food! When I pick the restaurant - I can spend hours finding the right place - and usually, I'm not disappointed!
Okay - about grooming. I spend a lot of money on my haircuts. A lot. However, I'm a performer - so I have to always try to look my best - my career depends on it. If I don't have an audition and am just running errands or whatnot - I don't wear a lot of makeup. I'd say I wear more makeup for auditions that I ever did on a date - but it also only takes me about 5 minutes to do my makeup. But that could also be because I'm a performer so I'm used to doing makeup and doing it quickly. If I wasn't a performer - I don't know how much money I would spend on my appearance. I do know that my husband thinks I always look beautiful - whether I've just woken up or I'm all made up to go to an opening night party. I like that - takes the pressure off!
As for dating - I think it is different for every man, woman, and couple. I'm more than happy to split everything 50/50. I've done that in the past. I was fine with it. My husband was happier when he paid. My ex was fine with splitting things. Guess what - I'm the same woman! Sometimes I have split the bill, sometimes I've been treated, and sometimes I've treated! Depends on the situation, depends on the relationship, depends on the people involved. I'll tell you this though - if a guy started showering me with expensive gifts and jewelry, I'd feel mighty uncomfortable.
Just to add, I was in China for 7 months last year and went on about 10 or so first dates with local girls I met. Every single time they paid. I attribute it mainly to the fact that I was a foreigner and therefore, sort of a "guest" in their country. They also ordered the dishes (in Mandarin) and acted like the host, so they always insisted on paying, and would not have it any other way.
If I was dating a foreigner - I would probably pick the restaurant, reccommend some dishes, and pick up the tab. I always do this for my friends and family when they are visiting. I guess I think of it as a way of welcoming someone to my city/country, etc.
Just to add, I was in China for 7 months last year and went on about 10 or so first dates with local girls I met. Every single time they paid. I attribute it mainly to the fact that I was a foreigner and therefore, sort of a "guest" in their country. They also ordered the dishes (in Mandarin) and acted like the host, so they always insisted on paying, and would not have it any other way.
That's interesting, because the implication there is that they treated not because they had a big thing about everyone being equal, but that you were a guest in their country and it was a gesture of hospitality. I wonder what those same women would expect if dating a Chinese man.
That's interesting, because the implication there is that they treated not because they had a big thing about everyone being equal, but that you were a guest in their country and it was a gesture of hospitality. I wonder what those same women would expect if dating a Chinese man.
well we do have one such man who can attest to this.....
I disagree with the notion that because one person chooses to express their affection in one way, that it must be reciprocated back in exactly the same way. Expensive dinners and gifts are not the only way to impress and romance someone.
When my husband and I were dating he wrote poems and prose nearly every day and left them for me to find on my doorstep, or on my windshield, or in a coat pocket, or in my mail box. He never once expected me to reciprocate by writing him poetry, in order to keep everything "fair". For the sake of full disclosure, I did make one pitiful and embarrassing attempt.
He chose how he wanted to court me based upon his strengths, abilities, and most importantly, what he thought would please me. I reciprocated in my own way.
The OP's boyfriend has his heart in the wrong place if he expects or demands that the OP reciprocate exactly how he wants her to. It's up to her, not him. He can accept or reject the way she chooses to reciprocate and express her affection for him (or lack thereof). But being demanding is an ineffective way to ignite passion in a person.
Last edited by boodhabunny; 04-29-2011 at 04:52 PM..
I disagree with the notion that because one person chooses to express their affection in one way, that it must be reciprocated back in exactly the same way. Expensive dinners and gifts are not the only way to impress and romance someone.
When my husband and I were dating he wrote poems and prose nearly every day and left them for me to find on my doorstep, or on my car, or in a pocket, or in my mail box. He never once expected me to reciprocate by writing him poetry, in order to keep everything "fair". For the sake of full disclosure, I did make one pitiful and embarrassing attempt.
He chose how he wanted to court me based upon his strengths, abilities, and most importantly, what he thought would please me. I reciprocated in my own way.
The OP's boyfriend has his heart in the wrong place if he expects or demands that the OP reciprocate exactly how he wants her to. It's up to her, not him. He can accept or reject the way she chooses to reciprocate and express her affection for him (or lack thereof). But being demanding is an ineffective way to ignite passion in a person.
What do you think of women who, for example, demand men pay for dates ; )
I don't mind paying for the date or for share, I'm all for it, but I've never been in this situation where the guy asked me straight out before the date to pay for it. I'm not sure how to react to this.
We've been dating for a month now, he paid for all the past dates.
Of course I said I'd be more than happy to, but still. I'm having mixed feelings about this.
What would your reaction be?
If he paid for all the previous dates, then pay it without complaining. If you enjoy going out with him and he is tight on money, then you'll have to pay or not go out. What's wrong with that?
What do you think of women who, for example, demand men pay for dates ; )
hardly ignites passion in my loins
I don't know about other women, but I've never been able to make a man do anything he didn't want to do. Lord knows, I've tried. Result = epic failure.
I fell in love with okonomiyaki when I was in Japan - and although I make it myself sometimes, it's not as good as the one I had in Hiroshima
My favorite so far is the one from Osaka, Japan. Which kind do you like?
Quote:
I don't need to be taken to a five star restaurant - but I do want to go somewhere that has great food! When I pick the restaurant - I can spend hours finding the right place - and usually, I'm not disappointed!
The thing is that when a girl takes me out for dinner I don’t feel in a position to tell her “No, not there. Take me to X place instead”. I just go and I am sure I can find something in the menu I like even if it’s not my restaurant of choice.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
