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He obviously had the money to do so. If she dated the guy for 10 years, then she probably hasn't experienced much else. Why are you shocked??
She hasn't asked. So why are you upset? You haven't even bought gifts for each other, and you are complaining? I don't get it.
You've really lost me on this. What exactly is the problem? What has she done?
She sent me the invoice yesterday as to say "hey look at how much it is, could you help out?" And shes been very upset since I've implied that I wouldn't be able to assist. Her ex and I earn about the same but he works 2 jobs.
I'm not upset, just baffled. She states how she wants to be with me long term and we've discussed the financial expectations but she seems to not understand.
I've never been one to want a rich chick to take care of me. I've always earned far more than the women I date despite all of them being older than me. I hate receiving gifts but don't mind doing the "little" things for my lady to reassure her that I love her. What I DON'T do is try to take care of their every need while they are more than capable and presently earning income. I don't subscribe to gender roles.
Case in point, I've been dating this new young lady for about 4 months. Shes intelligent, gorgeous and really funny (don't run into many women that can purposely make me laugh). We get along very well but I'm starting to notice that she is EXTREMELY spoiled and delusional when it comes to taking care of herself. She's 30, I'm 27 (I earn approximately twice as much as she does) I'm shocked by her expectations of what a guy is "suppose" to do for her. Previously she dated her high school sweetheart for about 7 year and then on and off for about 3, in total 10 years. During this time he essentially took care of her through college, paid her rent after college when she moved to New York to "pursue" a fashion career. He bought her a new car when hers was repoed, etc.....basically playing the role of the father despite her being 29 when they finally broke up.
Now she has to provide for herself and recently (yesterday in fact) the transmission on her MERCEDES (the one he bought her) went out and the quote today was 4k to replace it. I have the money but I genuinely don't feel its my responsibility at this point to fund her repairs/endeavors considering shes taken 2 lavish vacations since we've met. She hasn't asked but I know its coming. I can't really call her a gold digger because either I cook or if we go out I'll offer to pay in most cases. We haven't gone on any vacations or purchased each other gifts and the likes. Just exclusively getting to know one another through evenings at dinner or walks in the park or quite evenings at home cooking.
Its obvious that her past relationship has distorted her perception of the man/woman relationship because she doesn't feel as if she needs to contribute much financially yet she and her boyfriend broke up because he worked all the time paying for her stuff.
She says shes working on it and I do see a little progress. Maybe this situation will bring her back to reality......if not, well.....she wont make the cut. I really don't feel as though I need to teach an adult how to be an adult despite the feelings we have for each other.
The reality is, you two are not very compatible.
She has one ideal in mind for a relationship and it does not jive with your ideal.
I'd break it off with her now and cut your losses.
She sent me the invoice yesterday as to say "hey look at how much it is, could you help out?" And shes been very upset since I've implied that I wouldn't be able to assist. Her ex and I earn about the same but he works 2 jobs.
I'm not upset, just baffled. She states how she wants to be with me long term and we've discussed the financial expectations but she seems to not understand.
It's certainly not your responsibility to pay for it. Did you ask her why she sent the invoice to you? I sure would. Get it out in the open. Better to lay it out and make sure she knows where you stand, then pussyfooting around the issue.
She sent me the invoice yesterday as to say "hey look at how much it is, could you help out?" And shes been very upset since I've implied that I wouldn't be able to assist.
Bide your time and see what happens when you don't pay. At least give her the benefit of the doubt.
Personally, even if I was planning to pay something on my own, I might still show an invoice to the guy I'm dating just as a way of saying "Can you believe this?" It doesn't imply anything.
Bide your time and see what happens when you don't pay. At least give her the benefit of the doubt.
Personally, even if I was planning to pay something on my own, I might still show an invoice to the guy I'm dating just as a way of saying "Can you believe this?" It doesn't imply anything.
This is the approach I'm leaning towards, everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt unless otherwise proven. Just needed a woman's perspective to ensure I wasn't being too harsh or money driven.
Last edited by ayahuasca_mike; 04-26-2011 at 08:14 PM..
If a 30 year-old is an "older woman" to you, I'm in big trouble, LOL
LOL I was thinking the same thing. To me an older woman would be the man 27 and the woman 45/50. Who knew being 3 years older was an older woman.
Young studs today don't know the definition of older women. When I was 18 I dated a woman who was 38 and one who was 42, now that's older women. Both school teachers and lets just say I learned a lot.
And none of it had to do with learning math. Maybe algebra, if Mike = X, bent teacher over = Y, what = Z position you're in.
You know what?! This type of women do a lot better in life! Men like to protect their investments.
I only invest in things that can appreciate. Women are quite the opposite.
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