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what is wrong with his answer? is far more important the way he treats you, if he is beside you whenever you need him and if he loves you....
I see both ends, but I'm inclined to agree here. I have one set of friends that dated for 8 years before they got married. They where just not ready, he was finishing up school, she was starting her own biz, it just was not in the cards. Now he has a steady job, her biz is booming, he popped the question. They are likely the happiest married couple as well out of all my friends and easily have the most solid relationship / friendship. FWIW the couple friends that went the or else route, got their wish, he popped the question and with in 5 years they have all been divorced. Tread lightly.
He may not be certain and may need more time. Give him some more time, but if you don't see signs of a loving relationship - then cut the cord and move on.
Depends on what you want in a year. I've been with my bf for 11 months this year. There has been talk of a future together, marriage, kids, etc... I'm not really rushing anything since I have already been married before. I'm taking my time on this one. I think a person knows what is right within the first few months.
By the one year point, we were certain we were meant to be together. We planned to move in together. We agreed that whether or not we ever got married, we would be happy to do so if we chose that path.
To me, it sounds like you're convenient, but not necessary for his happiness. He may just be avoiding a commitment and may come to realize that you are the right one for him, but it seems very unlikely. At least take a break from the relationship. If he doesn't come pursuing with clear intentions about your relationship future, move on sooner rather than later. Or maybe, from all the bits and pieces of your history and gut feelings, you know now what you should do.
Sounds to me that OP is looking for more commitment than just boyfriend and girlfriend and by asking this question, she wanted to reassure herself that her boyfriend is thinking of their future together just like she does.
The fact that his response was "I don't know" tells me like it is, that he is unsure whether or not they are right for each other and he doesn't seem to think that there is a future. They have been together for a year, not few months and by this time, I think he should have an idea whether or not they are right for each other, otherwise why be together?
I would suggest for OP to evaluate whether or not she really wants a future with this man and take it from there.
Ahhh, why do people put timelines on everything? Your one-year is going to be different than everyone else's.
My wife and I were married after 5 months of meeting. We are doing awesome!
My wife's sister was dating her husband for 8 years. He proposed 4 times and finally she said "fine, whatever" the 4th time. They were engaged for three years. They are doing terribly.
I think if you had to ask the question, then you're looking for a reason to start a fight, get out of the relationship, or maybe force his hand in marriage? Just my thoughts. If you're together, a couple and committed, why would you even think to ask that??
funny how i did start this question out of being upset.
i'm not asking for a marrige, more of a reasurance, that how he felt about me. he freaked out and said he didnt know prob because he interpreted it as the"m word" request.
Openness and honesty are key in my opinion. That questions sounds purposely vague, so he could have interpreted it a billion different ways. This is the type of conundrum that strong communication helps you avoid. Be open, honest, and clear. His interpretation of the question is based on assumption, as is your interpretation of his answer. Clarity will get you what you were looking for. It takes a bit more courage to explicitly ask a question like that, but isn't a good relationship worth it?
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