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Lucario, if you want to maintain your relationship with your kids I have a VERY important piece of advice for you.
Do NOT get involved with another woman for at least two years after the separation.
Devote yourself to your children. See them whenever you can. Do everything you can to show them that they come first, before anything else in your life. And above all, as hard as it is, respect your ex and maintain a friendly relationship with her, no matter how nutso she acts.
Because these things will happen:
Your wife will act in bizarre and hurtful ways.
You will be extremely lonely and vulnerable and will want to jump into a relationship to feel better about yourself.
Your kids will be watching you very closely to see if your feelings toward them have changed.
I am truly sorry Lucario. It must be the worse strain emotionally and mentally. I just hope you and your wife can have as amicable a divorce as is humanly possibly , both for your sakes and the kids.
Acrimonious divorces can destroy a family and tear it apart and nobody gains from that. I would get advice ( legal as well as "friendly" /maybe even counselling if you think it might help) as soon as possible. You want to make sure the whole process goes as smoothly as it can be so that the damage is minimal in terms of emotional distress ( to you, your wife and children) and financial repercussions.
This must be a very painful time for you but it is better to get a divorce than the live with someone oyu no longer find happiness with . I genuinely believe it is better in the long run and will also be more positive for your children.
My parents divorced when I was four years old and it was a huge relief after seeing them fight like cats and dogs and tearing each other apart. Kids are far more perceptive than adults give them credit for AND far more resilient. As long as it is handled maturely and sensitively I think you can minimise the impact on them and yourself too.
You deserve happiness as does your wife and if it means finding it apart then I guess it has to be that way.
I would ensure though that you settle the issue of access pretty immediately so that the kids are not used as a tool in the divorce proceedings, something sadly really common and IMO the main source of pain, sorrow, resentment and strife in divorces.
I'd get and EXCELLENT lawyer. Ask for Joint custody. If the Wife works, NO ALIMONY. IF you have joint property, let her and the kids live there till it sells, split the equity. OR if she wants the house, she needs to refinance and buy your part out. Either way get it out of your name in less than a year. Make sure all joint accounts are paid off and closed and/or your name taken off these, when divorced, alert the Credit Bureau's. Also, make sure that you have access to the kids, school and medical records and have liberal visiting rights, and let it be known in the papers that the mother, if given primary custody, does not move without giving you a 60 day notice and a forwarding address and does not move out of state.
Like someone else said this is a divorce, it should be equal and fair, don't be giving into emotional pleas. Good luck.
Get drunk, bang someone younger and hotter, and repeat. It won't solve your problems, but you'll feel better. Oh, and follow Round4's advice.
You know what? Maybe you should get divorced if you're the type who is going to listen to above. I'm single, I would APPRECIATE a wife, maybe I'll meet and marry your ex. Wish me well.
Lucario, knowing you've said this many times before, I doubt it'll really happen, even though it probably should at this time, I think. Threatening each other with divorce on a regular basis is just not a way to live. I'm sorry.
I think we're done. Tonight for the first time, she again brought up that we should divorce, and for the first time, I am going to agree.
But now I am scared out of my wits, but I am also kind of relieved. Deep down I want this to happen, but I know this will be hell on myself and on our kids.
I am scared of being alone, scared of losing my kids, and not looking forward to an acrimonious process. Then there's the whole thing about trying to find a new place to live, etc.
Any advice? I'll take any opinions at this point.
We don't always see it at the time of negative, but this may actually a blessing in disguise.
There isn't nothing life can't pull you through as long as you believe in yourself and believe everything in time will work itself out.
Remember you are divorcing your spouse not the kids, so always be there for them.
Have a support network, family, friends someone to talk to.
Sometimes we don't need them to agree with us but just too listen.
I know Dr. Phil has great advice on parents who are divorcing and he makes a lot of sense.
You know what? Maybe you should get divorced if you're the type who is going to listen to above. I'm single, I would APPRECIATE a wife, maybe I'll meet and marry your ex. Wish me well.
Walt.........you don't want my s2bex. Trust me on this.
Lucario, knowing you've said this many times before, I doubt it'll really happen, even though it probably should at this time, I think. Threatening each other with divorce on a regular basis is just not a way to live. I'm sorry.
Sierra, I'm thinking that this time it's real.
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