Single girls in their 20s - do they exist? (date, woman, attracted)
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Every girl I ask out says she is seeing someone or has a boyfriend and so that I'm now kind of losing faith. Granted, this past year I've only asked out 2 girls - but by judging this sample group I'm feeling a bit despondent.
I know girls sometimes say this when they're not interested in you, but how can you tell? These girls were extremely nice with me, willing to hang out and stuff, but then telling me that they're 'seeing someone'. I feel like everyone is taken, and I don't know where to find single girls...
I see you are having problems with finding not a single women in her 20's. Not surprising since what you're looking for is one that is unattached with boyfriends/husbands/lesbian lovers/children/pets/education demands or presently incarcerated in a penitentiary. I will clue you in... there are none. So the best you can hope for is to find one that is not too firmly attached to bf/et all, so that you can replace the current line up with yourself.
Psst... BTW, all women consider themselves single regardless of previous and or current attachments.
I was single through most of my twenties (mostly by choice). I didn't even meet my current boyfriend of four years until I turned 30. I had a few short-term relationships in my twenties, but for the most part, I was dating casually and was single.
With the explosive growth and acceptance of serial monogamy, you'd actually be hard pressed to find an attractive and sought after (solid 8/9) woman in her 20s (again assuming not a single mother or other discriminating condition) who isn't single. She's being full court pressed and is always at the controls as far as how and what kind of relationship she has with the proverbial grocery store line of sausage she has available. On the flip side, there's no shortage of 'damaged' women in their 20s who don't have quite as much a line waiting for them.
Doing a historic lookback to my own 20s (I'm 29 now) I spent my college years (17-21) pretty much vagina-less, rocking in the waves of the blur that was college. Transfers didn't help. Now don't misunderstand, I got some, but it wasn't discriminating. My nickname was "catfish" and "Jesús" (to highlight the fact I was both hispanic, and was bringing salvation to overweight women everywhere...lol ah college, good times). I was being a minimalist in order to survive, but by no means did the dynamics actually supported engaging in a fulfilling relationship with a sought after woman in her 20s. After college, this dynamic of scarcity actually worsened, as "catfishing" was no longer appealing to me.
Then I spent 22-28 with my exwife, who was effectively overweight throughout the whole relationship and was not being pursued actively by anyone, until she hooked up with me of course (attractive by proxy, sorry it's true). I was lazy and valued the convenience of a steady relationship while putting sexual compatibilities and other 'shallow' criteria behind. I was naive, but that's for another thread. Point is, had I effected a more picky outlook I would probably be just as vagina less as I am today post-divorce. And I don't mean no access to it at all (fleeting access has always been there for me, which is why I find all these female-centric "nice guy" threads laughable and so off-target), but largely unable to maintain and foster a relationship like the one I had with the ex-wife, simply due to demographics. The 20s is a literal sausage fest for the discriminating single man. Unless you're high in that 20% of men that all women barely consider "ok, like, he's good enough" (which when normalized actually means ol' boy is actually above her freggin' league!! ), you're up the creek without a paddle.
Your choices are 1) Catfish it up to survive (I should have done this beyond college), 2) live the warrior monk lifestyle (I should have done this too) or 3) settle ( k! I did this and regret it with my whole 20s decade as a price for my choices...).
So don't feel too alone, you're fighting an uphill climb. The social dynamics SOMEWHAT change as you and your female peers enter their 30s; expectations and more established life directions (whether fundamentally shallow or not, they are now 'cemented'; this predictability is valuable in it of itself). But yeah I wouldn't spend too much time spinning my wheels trying to settle down a post feminist woman in her 20s. It's like wrangling cats. Their attention span simply isn't there and society validates and encourages such emotional ambivalence on their part. It will frustrate you quickly. Recognize that dynamic and stay light on your feet yourself. Nobody said life was fair. Do exceptions occur? Of course. The peanut gallery's mistake is to assert that because exceptions exist one shouldn't accept this generalization as the median outcome, so they revert to looking at the exception they too want to be, as the median outlook, and end up frustrated when it doesn't pan out in aggregate. Good luck to you
Hang out where attractive, young women hang out. Malls. Dorms. Sephora...Seriously though, asking out 2 women in a year is a pretty small sampling. Shoot for 2 per month and I bet your success rate improves, as well as your approach. Practice makes perfect!
Yes there are millions of single 20 something girls out there. Don't let the responses so far discourage you. They are out there and the prettier they are the more likely they are to be single.
I'm an average looking guy at best and not in the best shape in the world. I'm a big guy. Girls like to call me the teddy bear type. I also like to drink beer so it shows a little around the middle. Before I met the current GF I played the single and dating game for about 4 yrs and dated everything from 20yr olds looking for a sugar daddy to late 30 yr olds looking for a husband. They all ranged from average 5's to solid 10's. The guy that with the catfish and jesus thing cracks me up. I guess we've all been there a time or two but he is the first person I've heard that admits it
I've sure you have heard this before and it's true. Dating is a numbers game and most average looking guys will get lucky with 1 in 10 attempts. When I jumped back into dating I was lucky to get 1 in 20 but I improved..
If these girls are saying they have a BF they either do or they are not interested. Just shake it off and keep going... They are just women. If they blow you off who cares. You'll never see them again so what difference does it make.
Hang out where attractive, young women hang out. Malls. Dorms. Sephora...Seriously though, asking out 2 women in a year is a pretty small sampling. Shoot for 2 per month and I bet your success rate improves, as well as your approach. Practice makes perfect!
Don't forget a Katy Perry Concert lol.....wow was driving through the city the other night, when her concert was on.....ratio of females to males was higher than I've seen anywhere and alot were 16-25.
I got some friends in my hometown, a colleague, and one overseas( in their 20s) who's single. I don't think they're looking and I don't want to be playing matchmaker.
So, yes there are single young women in their 20s. Some girls will lie by saying they have a BF (I used to do that back then) to say they're not interested and some actually do. Maybe if you're in doubt ask for the BF's picture to make sure. I did when this truck driver tried to ask me out a few months ago. Doesn't hurt to see whose the lucky guy right? If they claim they don't have it, well there's your answer...they were not interested.
[quote=josh u;19117136]Here's the truth. For many attractive women, if you ask them on a date their answer will be...
"Sorry I'm already seeing someone" -- That means you're not handsome & charming enough for them.
"Oh no, I'm not seeing anyone" -- That means you are handsome and charming enough.
quote]
Yes, but don't forget about the modern insecurity factor. Young women, particularly attractive ones cannot admit to being without gentleman callers. Often they are just friends, but they will front and say they have boyfriends. A guy needs to sidle up to attractive (competitive) women slowly, share her for awhile and take your chance when she knows you better. Don't ask them out on dates.
And more then handsome and charming, women in their 20s want popular men. They want the benefits of his network of friends.
Thankfully older women (30-35+) gain some confidence, wisdom and independence, where they can say: "no I've been on my own since I dumped that cheatin bastard." or "I've been so busy with my job and condo, that I haven't dated in awhile."
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