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I have never been in a long and harmonious relationship and I'm still very young (20's) but I've seen a lot of dysfunctional and failed relationships in my days. Here's my opinion on the necessities of a long-lasting happy relationship:
-Open, honest, effective communication
-Flexibility and the ability to forgive and forget
-The willingness to grow together without sacrificing your own identity
I've seen so much emotional turmoil from failed relationships and bad choices that I will not settle for anything less from the person who says "I do."
I'm not sure how much my opinion is really worth on this topic though . . .
I have never been in a long and harmonious relationship and I'm still very young (20's) but I've seen a lot of dysfunctional and failed relationships in my days. Here's my opinion on the necessities of a long-lasting happy relationship:
-Open, honest, effective communication
-Flexibility and the ability to forgive and forget
-The willingness to grow together without sacrificing your own identity
I've seen so much emotional turmoil from failed relationships and bad choices that I will not settle for anything less from the person who says "I do."
I'm not sure how much my opinion is really worth on this topic though . . .
Actually, it sounds like you've learned a lot! If you had said something like "a nice butt, a pretty face, and someone who always agrees with me" - I would have been worried!
Best of luck to you! Sounds like you have a good grasp of what it takes to make it!
Trust, communication, laughter, respect, honsety, too many things to name. I think the key is finding the right person - a person who knows you inside and out. A person who knows all your flaws and loves you regardless. A person who you aren't afraid to be sad, angry, fat, ugly, silly, stupid, etc. in front of. In order for that to happen though - you have have to be willing to show them your true self. You can't hide anything - you have to be totally and completely yourself. But when it's the right person - being completely yourself is pretty easy.
Good answer, right here. I would also say that the biggest thing loving my husband taught me is to be unselfish whenever you can. Give something when you don't have to, do that kind deed even when others would have excused you for holding your ground. Enjoy every day that you can together and ask yourself if this was the last one you had to spend together, would you really want it monopolized fighting over which way the toilet paper hung? Over socks left on the floor? Over personality quirks that just make you who you are?
Value the stuff that counts and let the little stuff go.
Our formula is simple yet today after 45 yrs (and counting)....marry your best friend. Your best friend knows you for who you really are and likes you anyway.
During hard times if you & your partner are not best friends the strain & stress with tear a marriage apart.
MUTUAL respect, trust, communication, love, understanding, tolerance, generosity, acceptance, and so on. The ability to be yourself without having to limit yourself to be accepted, but of course mutual compromise is often necessary, and occasional sacrifice. Genuinely acting to help your partner reach their potential and be happy and fulfilled.
It's a complex dynamic, obviously, and you need to be flexible to accomplish it. Great sex helps keep it all going, too!
There are millions upon millions of divorced people who exhibited all the above except their partner didn't. The key word is mutual.
This sadly goes for all walks of life. Lately we've been working with a lot of young people who helped their partner achieve their goals(mostly graduating) and then basically got a dear sap letter. Foreign college students do this to American lovers so much I'm beginning to believe they're taking courses on how to do it overseas!
You can believe in all the fairytale, Cinderella advice above, or you can always try to keep an open mind, and one eye open...too. Be giving, but not too much, and it's not bad for you to expect to be given to, too. Be trusting...after trust is EARNED! And so on..
Ohhh great sex is wonderful...just remember sex is sex, not love.
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