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Old 06-10-2011, 06:36 AM
Location: US
5,145 posts, read 10,164,866 times
Reputation: 5326


I think its partially because the type of girls who would date those guys in highschool were not sexually forward themselves. So its like a 7th grade dance in their brain always. The loser nerds...well...they are just probably right. No one wants anything thats 30 years old living at moms only playing games instead of bettering themselves. Nerds who made bank..some of them can be more aggressive than your everyday hot jock.
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Old 06-10-2011, 06:39 AM
4,688 posts, read 4,148,369 times
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Anyone into cartoons or who would rather play video games than interact with the world is not hot to me. However, a smart guy can be very hot. This guy would have to have many interests and a career than he cares about. That guy would not be a nerd, but he would be a brain.
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Old 06-10-2011, 06:40 AM
Location: Forests of Maine
29,138 posts, read 46,240,366 times
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I am retired now, though when I was still working I was in a career-field that was/is male-only and most have an exceptionally high IQ. From living & working within that herd of nerds it did seem that most of them had an extremely hard time hooking up with a female.

The money is not bad, I got into investments and did pretty well. Not everyone there invested, but those of us who did, did well enough. So it was not a matter of lack of money.

For a couple years, I discovered an all girls college. I went there routinely and found that in the bar they had on campus it was easy to ask one girl to dance and then buy a round for everyone seated at her table. After that I would have the focus of many girls. But it was purely because they were all on strict allowances, and few of them had a car. So any guy showing up with a car and cash had his pick. I was too young to take much advantage of that situation.

You ask "Why do nerdy men think they can't get a lady"? It comes from repeated personal experience.
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Old 06-10-2011, 06:44 AM
23,581 posts, read 30,252,119 times
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Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
My experience indicates that "brainy" is seldom recognized as such, if the guy isn't also good looking. Then, everything he says impresses women.

However, if an average man is able to get a reputation in the wider world, that tags him as brainy, hot women will usually seek him out. I somehow doubt that the brainy aspect of him was the prime reason.
I don't care about the guys "reputation" as to their brainpower. I can certainly ascertain intellect by having one or more conversations with someone. And THAT is far more appealing to me, than their so-called "hotness". You can speak for the women that you may have come in contact with, but you cannot speak for me.

Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
Nerds are often brainy guys without the looks that women consider necessary to be considered brainy. However, some are just into their own little world that interests them - things that women find boring.
"Brainy" has NOTHING to do with looks.
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Old 06-10-2011, 08:13 AM
Location: Louisiana
494 posts, read 1,385,452 times
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Originally Posted by d-boy-80 View Post
Oh yeah nerds are so hot. Just wait until he takes you to go see his videogame collection in his parents house. And did I mention he is unemployed and in his 30s?

No one would date a neet.
The type of nerd I was referring to was the type that has a job at least.
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Old 06-10-2011, 08:19 AM
112 posts, read 150,629 times
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Smart comes in many different forms including sports skills. I'm not sure why a hockey player who instinctively understands where the puck will next be located and skates to that point is not considered smart. IQ is such a narrow and inadequate understanding of intelligence!

The same goes for social skills. It takes genius to understand, get along with and motivate people. Bush Jr., despite the enormous intellectual gap between him and his peers, is highly skilled socially. (So are Sarah Palin and Bill Clinton)

Brainy implies a broader intellect whereas nerdy suggests more of love of academics. Not all nerds love science. Are there no history nerds? I know one who loves historical clothing and especially hats. Political wonks are less on the nerdy side but I think can be nerdy. Those political nerds write policy. Most successful politicians are socially skilled and personable - not nerdy. They should be considered brainy but all too often their social skills and manipulation negate the need to possess skill in science or serious academics.

Nerds, as I define them, love information, knowledge and academics. This is their strong suit so approaching a problem from this perspective first and considering any social dimension second is what I expect from them. I'm actually OK with that. I get along best with those whose level of social consideration and intellectual approach are similar to mine.

I don't see how playing computer games suggests someone is a nerd. I know jock types that love to play sports and arcade style games. I think it depends on the game type as some types are more cerebral than others. City building games are nerdy.

Nerds can be extremely snobby which is quite off putting. Many of them try to define the best car to drive or what books one should read or why a PC is better than a MAC. Bla bla bla!!!! My wife's siblings are like that. They don't simply prefer or like something, they "Can't understand why anyone would ____" e.g. "drive a domestic car" or "eat at McDonalds" or "listen to anything but Beethoven". It is a failure to see others as different from themselves and the reasons why others place different values on their choice criteria. Think Fraser Crane - funny to watch but hell to spend time with!

I do not consider social awkwardness a significant problem. What is troubling is when you are dealing with a selfish nerd who has no desire to cooperate or share or doesn't have a sense of sharing space. Then we clash. For many years I did not put women in this class of people. Over time however I've noticed there are far more women than I imagined who bumble around socially and step on others' toes and misjudge social space. It is not fair to paint all nerds this way.

So definitely, nerds are cool and some are smokin' hot. And yes, glassess on a woman is way cool!

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Old 06-10-2011, 09:07 AM
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There should be no problem with nerdy guys getting dates. Many girls complain that the nerds they crush on don't ask them out.
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Old 06-10-2011, 09:15 AM
81 posts, read 165,386 times
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I am a reformed nerd so I think I have something to add. There are smart people who do their thing, and then there are smart people with no social acumen and have an affinity for niche hobbies. Instead of sports, they like action figures or whatever. Another huge downside to nerds is their lack of self confidence which is a big no no with the ladies. So Id say its more a function of ones personality rather than intellect that makes nerds time with women difficult.
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Old 06-10-2011, 09:22 AM
330 posts, read 465,691 times
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Originally Posted by southseeker View Post
It's not that I can't get a lady, I just don't think I have a chance with pretty ladies. Average to above average is all I'm shooting for. When your nerdy, you got to accept the fact, pretty ladies are going to look twice at the sexy man before they look at the slightly over weight nerd...
maybe you could loose the weight?
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Old 06-10-2011, 09:49 AM
330 posts, read 465,691 times
Reputation: 397
Default steps to nerd dating

1st keep in mind that there are many nerd girls, but just like nerd man, they look for the obvious hotties
2nd be a nerd on the inside but dress like a hottie on the outside, for nerd men that means read GQ and Details for the fashion ideas, dress up and better always, and if you can learn how many episodes there are on star trek you can also learn how to dress well, ask your hottie female workers and your gay co-workers (or non-gay fashion knowledgeable men friends) for advice and even a shopping trip
3rd Approach women you find attactive and say hello (and hopefully more)
4th Always have plans, so that when you talk to a woman (nerdett or hottie or combination of the two), you can say, oh this weekend I am going to this place or that, care to join me? (asking someone out on a "date" is wussy) telling a woman where to go is manly!
5th Womens lib is great for the workplace, but not for the bedroom, be the man, ask her out, have a place (or places in mind), pick her up, pay the bill.
6th get rejected, and get rejected over and over, some women have boyfriends, some dont want dates, some just love their cats, and some wont find you their type. And some will say OK! get rejected and get over it.
7th Dont be friends, you have enough friends.
8th Have more than just nerd topics to talk about
9th work out, if your fat, loose the weight, if your a pencil neck, then gain muscle. sure you dont have to lift weights, try some other excercise, there are lots of nerds who are in martial arts. Seriously all the nerd heros in comic books and movies are built up, you can do that too.
10th Dont worry about labels, kids are nerds, if your over 18 or 21 you are a man now. Maybe you have nerd interests but your still a man. Our society has forgetten about men, or realisticlly how to be man.
bonus - remember certian things what were "nerdy" in school are things that woman as adults now find attractive, such as photography, writing, journalism, film makers, cooking, etc.
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