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It sounds like she feels like you aren't forthcoming with other things, not just this...this might have been the instance that made her comment...straw that broke the camel's back, as it were. I agree that just to fly off the handle about this instance and this instance alone is a little suspect. Which makes me wonder if it wasn't really just a buildup, if the girl is otherwise rational.
Has she said other things, before, that make it possible that she feels shut out, in general? Many women equate sharing details men might view as inconsequential or not worth noting as a normal part of emotional intimacy (sharing what went on in your day, etc.). There are women who feel that if you're not interested in bonding in that way, you're not really interested in building a relationship or being emotionally intimate. Would you say that you generally share things?
Overall, though, you note that you're a particularly private person. If that's who you are, it's who you are, but from personal experience, people can often lose patience with trying to crack the shell enough to build a relationship. I've had relationships with very closed off people before (I myself am not particularly private...I don't swing to the opposite extreme, either, not an oversharer...just not particularly guarded), and it's made me feel as if they simply didn't WANT me to get to know them. Which isn't all that reinforcing, or an incentive to stay in the relationship. Nobody wants to feel like they have to push and prod and pry to bond with somebody.
The only thing wrong with you is that you appear to believe in palm reading which is totally ridiculous but then your girlfriend outdid you by acting so childish over such a trivial thing. After reading your post I'm also curious about how old you are. I'm thinking you're both very young.
That's YOUR opinion on palm reading and has nothing to do with the issue here. He's not asking your advice or opinion on that subject.
If this is the first time for her, then maybe something else is wrong and she picked this as her hill to climb? It sounds like maybe she is feeling jealous or insecure? Or, and I hate to bring this up.... is she PMS'ing?
Not saying those are excuses, but in my world everyone gets a get out of jail free card for being nutty once in awhile. Just so it's not a regular occurence.
We are in our mid 30's. She's NEVER acted like this before. I said I am sorry you feel this way, and I will work on it, but this was a positive thing I shared with you and you are turning it negative. I know I am a private person, and I am trying to open up more, however, I believe I share as much as I can. This is all cause I did not say I went to get something to eat with a few friends and my palm read? I thought sharing the palm reading would strengthen our relationship and put a smile on her face and a warmth in her heart. I NEVER expected it to be turned back to me and said that I never told her this. She said that she asked me yesterday what I did Friday, and I said, no, you did not. You asked what I did Saturday, and I told you. She then said, what if I did the same to you? I said, I did not ask what you did on Friday. I assumed you were with your friends. She gave me a look and walked into the next room. I was about to jet, cause I thought this was getting out of control over nothing. So I tried to talk about it with her. Then she brought up that I did not share my medical problem with her until later. I did not share my work issues until later. And so on and so on. So, like I thought it was the right thing to do, I said, which is the truth, I do not see myself as evasive in anyway, but I will work on being more open. You know, trying to calm everything down.. However, when we drove away, she went to her friends, and I was going home, at the light, I waved by, and she did not even look.. So, for some reason, she's upset, and I cannot see or understand why...
Wow, mid 30's, huh??? I really did think both of you were way younger then that. I'm taking both of you are not experienced in dating then. She can't possibly think that you're going to tell her everything you do. I can see were she wants you to open up more if you are quiet and don't talk that much but to tell you everything, that's alittle immature and can become controlling in a relationship.
If this is the first time for her, then maybe something else is wrong and she picked this as her hill to climb? It sounds like maybe she is feeling jealous or insecure? Or, and I hate to bring this up.... is she PMS'ing?
Not saying those are excuses, but in my world everyone gets a get out of jail free card for being nutty once in awhile. Just so it's not a regular occurence.
That's what I'm thinking. Either she's jealous, or perhaps seeing something in you that reminds her of a past relationship that went bad, or it may be just something as simple as PMS or hormones. Give it a couple of days and see if she comes around or her mood improves.
I take some time to open up, but I believe, I've opened up and shared a lot with her. More than with anyone else, ever. She had her period 2 weeks ago, so I doubt it's due to PMS. When she is PMSing, she get's a bit antsy. If I did something wrong, I can understand that. However, she knew this from the beginning. I take time to open up. And I never asked her to share everything with. I work for myself, so I share as much as possible there. When I am not working, I am with her or friends / family (bros/sis/parents). I am very close to them. We had a small tiff last week, but she apologized and we made up. It was, again, about nonsense. I just did not like at the end, if you are not happy, and I was not happy, I should let her know. I mean, I have NO IDEA where that came from... For our six month anniversary, I took her on a nice two day trip. She had an amazing time and was positively surprised and could not stop talking about it for days. That was two weeks ago. I do not know what or why she's acting this way. It is totally not her. Plus, it's on nothing. And I do not want to leave or break up. But I question her feelings on this. Even though she always tells me she loves me and cannot see her with anyone else... The sex is amazing too. So, her behavior today hit me from out of no where...
My guess is that the issue is not really the palm reading. The issue that has not been completely resolved is the fact that you withheld a serious illness from her for an entire month. You haven't said what it was, but if it was to the point where you needed to see lots of doctors and have testing done, then it's likely something you should have shared with your partner. I also agree with the people saying you can't share every little thing. That's absolutely true. However, IF you want to be in a relationship, it requires a level of openness and willingness to develop intimacy with another person. If you won't let your partner allow to know the real you, any relationship you try to form will die a slow death.
So, again, I think the real issue is that you kept your illness from her. My guess is that you didn't properly resolve that, and since it was never properly resolved, now when some little thing along vaguely similar lines comes up, you get this sort of reaction. You will likely continue to get this sort of reaction until you can demonstrate to her that you will let her in, that you will allow her to know you.
Don't make the classic shallow-end mistake of thinking this is about palm reading. It's not. If she can't tell if you're happy about life, the relationship, whatever, that's scary to her. It's scary to most women. We are nurturers and like to be checked in with our mate. Having her find out you had been sick for a month was a huge shock. If she's having to ask what you're thinking, if you won't let her in after six months, that's likely worrisome to her. If you want to be in a relationship with someone, you have to allow them a real view.
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