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Ex. 1. You're an average-looking girl (5). You get solicitations from men both above and beneath your own attractiveness rating (where the man's attractiveness is determined by more than just his looks). You get asked out by a guy who's an "8." You enter into a relationship with this guy and he sweeps you off your feet. Objectively speaking, he's the best guy you've ever been in a relationship with (tall, funny, handsome, good job, etc). The sex is unbelievable. Three months into the relationship, you discover that he's been seeing other women the entire time you've been together. When you confront him about it, he doesn't even respond. You see him out on the town a week later with a new girl that's much prettier than you. You feel used...like he was just "parking" in a relationship with you until something better came along.
Ex. 2. You're an average guy. Average job, average car, average apartment, average height, average charms. You're a male "5." You approach girls above your attractiveness rating (6-8), but they shoot you down before you can get past "Hello." You got to treat a female "6" to dinner a few times, but on the last date she said she just wanted to be friends. You never got to sleep with her. A week later, you hear through friends that the "6" got back with her ex-boyfriend, who's a real stud. You feel used...like she was just accepting dinner dates with you to keep herself entertained until something better came along.
Situation 1: Assuming they had talked about exclusivity (something I would expect before sleeping together), he cheated on her for months and refused to be honest at any point. If they had agreed somehow that they were allowed to see/date/be with other people, then I guess there's nothing wrong with it, but I still think he should have been forthcoming.
Situation 2: Frustrating, but how should it have been handled instead? I think she should have paid for a date or two to even the score, but saying she no longer wanted to date him and going back to her ex isn't wrong...paying for a date =/= right to sex in my book.
Situation 1: Assuming they had talked about exclusivity (something I would expect before sleeping together), he cheated on her for months and refused to be honest at any point. If they had agreed somehow that they were allowed to see/date/be with other people, then I guess there's nothing wrong with it, but I still think he should have been forthcoming.
Situation 2: Frustrating, but how should it have been handled instead? I think she should have paid for a date or two to even the score, but saying she no longer wanted to date him and going back to her ex isn't wrong...paying for a date =/= right to sex in my book.
This is why I live by the notion:
Taking a girl on a date =/= me having to spend a lot of money on her.
Situation 1: Assuming they had talked about exclusivity (something I would expect before sleeping together), he cheated on her for months and refused to be honest at any point. If they had agreed somehow that they were allowed to see/date/be with other people, then I guess there's nothing wrong with it, but I still think he should have been forthcoming.
Situation 2: Frustrating, but how should it have been handled instead? I think she should have paid for a date or two to even the score, but saying she no longer wanted to date him and going back to her ex isn't wrong...paying for a date =/= right to sex in my book.
But the girl in Example 1 got to live out a fantasy, even if the fantasy was short-lived and eventually turned into a nightmare. Don't they say that "it's better to have loved and lost?" At the very least, she knows what earth-shaking, mindblowing sex is like. And she did have cherished moments with the "8," even if those moments were ephemeral.
The guy in Example 2 didn't get anything he wanted. Buying dinner may not entitle him to sex, but he's definitely buying dinner with the expectation that his date is seriously considering him as a worthy relationship prospect. But in his case, he did not get a relationship or sex, and he paid for all of the dates. She basically hit him up for free meals while she plotted and planned on getting her ex back.
Ex. 1. You're an average-looking girl (5). You get solicitations from men both above and beneath your own attractiveness rating (where the man's attractiveness is determined by more than just his looks). You get asked out by a guy who's an "8." You enter into a relationship with this guy and he sweeps you off your feet. Objectively speaking, he's the best guy you've ever been in a relationship with (tall, funny, handsome, good job, etc). The sex is unbelievable. Three months into the relationship, you discover that he's been seeing other women the entire time you've been together. When you confront him about it, he doesn't even respond. You see him out on the town a week later with a new girl that's much prettier than you. You feel used...like he was just "parking" in a relationship with you until something better came along.
Ex. 2. You're an average guy. Average job, average car, average apartment, average height, average charms. You're a male "5." You approach girls above your attractiveness rating (6-8), but they shoot you down before you can get past "Hello." You got to treat a female "6" to dinner a few times, but on the last date she said she just wanted to be friends. You never got to sleep with her. A week later, you hear through friends that the "6" got back with her ex-boyfriend, who's a real stud. You feel used...like she was just accepting dinner dates with you to keep herself entertained until something better came along.
Which situation is worse?
None..You never let anybody disrespect you no matter how you look.
But the girl in Example 1 got to live out a fantasy, even if the fantasy was short-lived and eventually turned into a nightmare. Don't they say that "it's better to have loved and lost?" At the very least, she knows what earth-shaking, mindblowing sex is like. And she did have cherished moments with the "8," even if those moments were ephemeral.
The guy in Example 2 didn't get anything he wanted. Buying dinner may not entitle him to sex, but he's definitely buying dinner with the expectation that his date is seriously considering him as a worthy relationship prospect. But in his case, he did not get a relationship or sex, and he paid for all of the dates. She basically hit him up for free meals while she plotted and planned on getting her ex back.
So do you want to tell us who she was that used you? Or do you still want to pretend you were really asking for people's opinions? I vote for the first option; it's just faster.
So do you want to tell us who she was that used you? Or do you still want to pretend you were really asking for people's opinions? I vote for the first option; it's just faster.
He could be justifying being the hot cheater, though.
Thanks for letting us know the answer to your question, Bajan.
So do you want to tell us who she was that used you? Or do you still want to pretend you were really asking for people's opinions? I vote for the first option; it's just faster.
I've been on both sides of the transaction. I have been with girls I was lukewarm about and I've been hit up by girls who were lukewarm about me. But the thread is not about me...I just asked which situation was worse.
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